Saturday, August 12, 2017

The Inferno Episode 4: Hollyday

Not much to say about this episode. Once again: I was not Team Katie at this time, and her hesitation at competing in the mission did not make me a fan. I probably figured, "Damn, at least Sarah didn't balk once. I mean, she didn't do Red Barron, but Road Rules had a three-person advantage, and Cara and Darrell sat out as well." And I really had enough of Trishelle at this point. Also Julie, but she wouldn't get her dismissal for another eight weeks, much to my chagrin.

Oh, and I really, really, REALLY regret likening Timmy and Holly to Judd Winick and Pam Ling from RW: San Francisco. While Timmy is more of an alpha guy than Judd, Pam had NEVER pissed me off the way Holly did in The Inferno. But I wouldn't start getting mad at her for a while longer.

Airdate: February 16, 2004
Recap Published: February 22, 2004

Meet Holly. Holly is Road Rules’ leader. Holly can talk Katie into performing. But can Holly take on Trishelle in the Inferno and live another day?
Previously on The Inferno: Mike had the absolute gall to dance with another woman in front of Trishelle, who got bitched out by Coral. Road Rules won Wreck 'n Roll, upping their bank to $20,000. Trishelle was shocked when Mike and Coral led an effort to nominate her into the Inferno. RR was stunned when Real World chose designated team leader Holly for the Inferno over perennial scrub Katie. Trishelle made her peace with Mike, but was still furious with Coral.

We open with Holly and Kendal on the hammock, joking about how Holly wants to go back to Colorado with a tan. Kendal interviews that Holly is more scared of the Inferno than she lets on. “As far as I’m concerned, she’s like She-Ra,” Kendal continues. “She can do anything. She’s like the most powerful woman in the world. So I think Trishelle should be scared.”

Inside the Villa, Julie and Trishelle have a similar conversation. The key difference? My skin doesn’t crawl when I watch Holly and Kendal. Julie says that she should have been more vocal at the meeting, and that it would be an enormous defeat if Trishelle lost. The thing about RW is that there’s no de facto alpha female. I don’t get scared by Trishelle or Leah, Coral is 80 percent mouth, Mallory’s soccer skills don’t translate to the missions, and Julie is borderline psychotic. I’m beginning to see why the genders are alternated. Julie interviews that Trishelle shouldn’t be going to the Inferno. She continues, “The fact that certain members of our team have that much influence in meetings is a little bit worrisome.” She tells Trishelle that she doesn’t want “Coral garbage” since Coral has problems with them. Trishelle is pissed that Coral manipulated the votes. Julie continues, saying that everybody who had a problem with Coral voted fairly. Yes, this team is a third-world nation, and Coral is the dictator. Shut up, Julie. Trishelle: “Last season, I didn’t say anything. And [bleep] that. I’m not going to let her walk over me and intimidate the [bleep] out of me.” I guess she forgot about stinking so badly that last season everybody but Mike voted her into the Gauntlet. Twice! Julie concludes that Coral will control the meetings unless she or Trishelle stops it.

Mission site. A giant wall dangles from a crane. Mike expositions that there is another mission before the Inferno, and the players have a chance to win the Aztec Lifesaver. Dave welcomes everybody to Climbing Wall. Yeah, that’s the name of the mission. The objective: climb the wall and secure the sponsor flag on the top. The team with the best average time wins $10,000 for their account. Should a player fall off the wall or drop the flag, that person gets the slowest time logged, plus a two-minute penalty. The fastest players on each side get the Lifesaver. Mike interviews that Holly and Trishelle are going to the Inferno unless they win the Lifesaver. It’s interesting that Mike’s hair is all messed up. My theory is that since he’s about to “see” Kendal, he wants to look like Blair, who she dated for a while.

The wall slowly spins around as Shane and Syrus get ready. They climb up, using the various ledges and nooks. As Syrus breathes heavily, Shane gets to the top first, but he takes his time putting the flag up. Shane finishes at 52 seconds, while Syrus comes in at 1:08.

Holly interviews that if she were the fastest person up the wall, it would change the Inferno. Her opponent is CT. Cut to Shane wearing a “MILF” t-shirt. Coming from a gay guy, I have no idea what that means. Holly gets up the wall quickly, but CT beats her, getting a 0:46 time to her 1:20.

Jeremy vs. Julie. He makes good time, but she slips. Unable to hang on, Julie lets go for the disqualification. Ha! If loving her failures is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. Meanwhile, Jeremy finishes at 1:25. Julie interviews that she was cocky going up, and that she’s an idiot. I can’t argue with that.

Veronica vs. Leah. Veronica gets up the wall as Leah slips and hangs on to a ledge. As Veronica finishes, Leah slips for the DQ. Veronica’s time: 1:33. Mike tells Leah she did well, but she doesn’t want to hear it.

Christena vs. Mallory. Christena slips twice, while Mallory slips and falls for the DQ. Christena follows suit, getting a DQ as well. Christena gripes that everything she tried didn’t work. Mallory thinks the mission sucks. Christena can’t believe Holly did it so fast.

Shot of the wall. Shot of Katie. After a dramatic pause, she announces that she won’t climb the wall. Shane asks why she came in the first place. She replies that she didn’t think it would be this hard. “Katie sees the climbing wall and she’s frightened,” Shane interviews. “She doesn’t like heights. She doesn’t like physical activity. If it doesn’t involve smoking or drinking, she doesn’t want to do it.” Katie says that ice cream eating and swimming pools don’t scare her. Maybe she would’ve been equipped if she hadn’t bitched her way out of last season. She interviews about not feeling confident when the team doubts her. You know what inspires confidence? Not drama queening about the stupid mission.

Back from commercials, Holly gets in Katie’s face, asking how she can believe in somebody that doesn’t want to be here. Holly tells Katie that she must prove herself. Katie says she wasn’t expecting a wall. Holly knows she can do it. Katie promises to try, but she isn’t expecting to do well. Holly interviews, “In terms of being the positive one and encouraging every single player on our team, I definitely have it in me to step up and be the leader.” Darrell playfully taps Katie on her helmet.

Katie vs. Coral. Holly shouts encouraging words. Veronica crosses her arms, a sour look pasted on her face. Katie struggles, while Coral falls for the DQ. Katie gamely keeps going, jumping to reach a ledge, but she falls as well. Her teammates clap and cheer her effort. “There’s a lit cigarette down here for you!” Christena shouts. Nice incentive. Holly tells Katie that she made it further than most people, and that she impressed her teammates. Cut to the jaw-dropping sight of Katie getting hugs from the others. Oh, sure… RR is all smiles now. Last season, it was all Adam and his cadre could do to keep from throwing Sarah down the stairs.

More races. David beats Kendal, finishing at 0:53 to her 1:35. Abram beats Mike to the top. “Hey, Mike!” he shouts while clipping his flag in place. “Who’s the big winner?” Heh… nice payback from their Gauntlet. Abram finishes at 1:00, Mike at 1:06. Leah reminds us that Trishelle will go to the Inferno unless she wins the Lifesaver. As Darrell goes up the wall, Trishelle grabs a ledge, but slips for the DQ. Ha! Darrell finishes at 2:27. I’m guessing that he bitched about the heights, but the interview was cut out. Timmy goes solo, scorching up the wall at 0:37.

Dave announces the average times. RW finished at 2:54, and RR finished with 1:57. Dave hands the cardboard check to RR, as they go up to $30,000 to RW’s $10,000. Dave also awards Aztec Lifesavers to CT and Timmy for their times, saying that they can save their teammates and sacrifice themselves. I’m confused… I thought that the Inferno was a same-sex affair. Wouldn’t the teams just reconvene to pick another person, like RW did with Syrus? Dave tells both teams that he’ll see them at nightfall.

Villa. Abram and Holly chat on the couch, thinking their team is solid. But Holly is worried about the Inferno. “It is a very daunting place,” she interviews. “You can’t help but wonder what it is you’re going to be doing, what if there’s an unforeseen variable and you lose, and you’re done.”

RW area. Coral asks Trishelle if she’s scared, or if she’s mad for going into the Inferno. Trishelle is mad, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. She interviews that her team was unsupportive, and the vote was manipulative. Coral brings up the club fiasco once again. “She wants to yell at me for going to the Inferno,” she interviews, “she wants to blame it on me? Whatever. I can take it.” Trishelle blathers about how votes were changed once Coral spoke up. Unless the editors misled us, I’m sure Mike got the ball rolling with that. But I guess Trishelle can’t bring herself to scream at Mike. Coral says that she believed in what she had to say. Trishelle accuses her of talking over everybody else. As Coral starts to rebut, Julie talks over her, causing her to snap. Trishelle looks at the camera, all “See what I have to deal with? Gawd!”

Back from commercials, Coral is still rolling. “It’s not my fault you’re going to the Inferno!” she tells Trishelle. “They picked you, not me!” Actually, “they” should be a “we.” Trishelle once again maintains that it’s all Coral’s fault. They go back and forth until Syrus breaks them up, telling Coral that Trishelle has to get ready. Coral leaves, muttering “copout” as she passes Mike. “I think I got what I was feeling across,” Trishelle interviews. “I’m not going to put up with your [B.S.], basically. I’m calling you out. It’s easier for other people to do the same thing.” Way to delude yourself, Trishelle.

As the bile in my stomach rages, Julie tells Mike that Trishelle stood up to Coral. Say what? Trishelle decides that Coral is to blame, and that’s stepping up? I saw paper ballots last week. I’m guessing that it wasn’t an open vote, where minds could be changed in a minute. And even if it was, Mike started bringing Trishelle’s name up. Not Coral. I feel that Coral can be shut down, but Julie’s celebrating like Trishelle did it. I wish that Coral had gone back to the room, grabbed their heads, and knocked them together. Julie and Trishelle totally deserve each other. If they get locked into a room with Adam, Katie and Puck for eternity, I wouldn’t be happier.

Inferno site. David: “I see five or six bowls line up full of really hot chilies. Based on looking at it, you can see it’s not a good time.” Dave welcomes everybody to Chili Counter. The object: eat as many chilies as possible within one hour. The winner stays, and the loser goes home. Dave asks CT if he’ll save Trishelle. CT declares that she will go, because she is confident and she’s from Louisiana. Is that the state with the hottest peppers? Remind me to ask Blair or Theo. Dave poses the same question to Timmy. He can’t say anything, and Holly has to speak for him, declaring her intention to go. Anybody else think Timmy still carries a torch for Holly? They would be a great couple… totally the Judd and Pam of RR. Shane interviews that Holly wants to go to the Inferno. Mallory figures that if Trishelle wins, RR will lose their best female competitor.

Inferno time. Dave bangs a gong to get things going. Trishelle munches on a larger pepper, while Holly pops a small one into her mouth. Trishelle holds her nose, obviously feeling the heat. CT tells her to “take a little sip of milk, have a little crackah, take your time.” It’s the accent that makes it funny. Trishelle interviews that she’s nibbling on one pepper, while Holly already has two down. Holly thinks she’s going to be sick. Trishelle shakes her head as she drinks.

Time remaining: 31:00. Holly has a 5-2 lead. She scarfs down another pepper, while Trishelle takes her time. Kendal interviews that Holly is confident.

Time remaining: 18:00. Holly is up 7-3, but she wishes time would go faster. Trishelle eats, wiping sweat from her brow. CT interviews that she looks ready to quit. Julie grabs her by the shoulders, giving her a pep talk. I don’t want to say what’s going on in my mind at that moment. CT yells that Holly isn’t as strong as Trishelle, prompting her to tell him to be nice. Coral: “EAT THE [bleeping] PEPPERS!” Who says she isn’t a team player? Holly complains that parts of her body are on fire. Wait until tonight, Holly. Trishelle is still feeling the heat.

Dave announces the five-minute warning. Julie cranks it up a notch, cheering on Trishelle. Mike joins in. Now the whole team chants her name, but she’s too busy sweating. The editors put things in slo-mo, inserting effects that make Trishelle look even more damaged. The team cheers in slo-mo. Voiceover: “There are decisive moments in all of our lives.” First of all, who the hell are you? Second, what is that supposed to mean? Maybe this is the moment when Trishelle decides to hang with the likes of Vanilla Ice and Tammy Faye Messner.

Dave bangs the gong. Game over. Holly wins, 9-4. Needless to say, I am a happy, happy camper. As RW stares in disbelief at a two-person deficit, RR celebrates Holly’s victory. Trishelle gets water bottles applied to her face. Holly says she’s on fire all over her body. Trishelle interviews that she’s disappointed in letting her team down, but she couldn’t make up the deficit.

Denouement. Dave congratulates Holly for her win and sends Trishelle packing. Leah gives Trishelle a hug. CT interviews that RW need to step up, and quickly.

Villa. Several RR members pamper Holly, who is lying down. Not for much longer, if those chilies kick in soon. “She’s like our team leader,” Christena interviews, “and we needed her to come back.”
Elsewhere, Mike tells Trishelle that he wanted her to win. He interviews that his relationship with her is like a roller coaster. Must be because throwing up is heavily involved. “As of right now, we’re on the ups,” he interviews. “We’re all good.” Trishelle interviews that it’s sad to go and she tried her best. As always, Coral has the last word. “Trishelle causes her own drama and she brought it on herself,” she voiceovers. “She didn’t want it that bad, and it wasn’t worth it for her. That means she needs to go back to L.A.” Unlike two weeks ago with Ace, Coral’s meanness coincides with my feelings. Here’s hoping she rids us of Julie in four weeks. Trishelle gets on the short boat, as Katie and Leah say their farewells from the dock.

Next week: With Trishelle gone, Mike’s free to wrestle and flirt with Kendal. Yes, Mike is on the prowl again. Long live Mizdal! Coral complains that, “This losing crap just ain’t cracking.” Dave welcomes everybody to Disco Domino Duel. Bad wigs, bad costumes, and giant dominoes. I have no idea.

That was the end of Trishelle as far as BMP shows were concerned . . . or at least that was what I figured. And then she showed up on the second edition of Battle Of The Sexes in 2012, on a team made up of housemates from the two Las Vegas-based seasons, alongside Alton, Dustin and Nany. To my shock, Alton went out along with Nany near the end of the season. In the following episode, Trishelle & Dustin defeated Marie & Robb from RW: St. Thomas to stay in the game. In the end, Trishelle & Dustin finished in second place, splitting $50,000. That was not a good season, since the rookie team representing the not-so-great San Diego season won, and Frank and Zach worked out their frustrations on Sam, who really deserved better. The team from RW: Brooklyn finished in third because the Challenge Gods -- if they truly exist -- were content to sticking it to Sarah Rice, giving her beta males in Chet and JD, and Devyn Simone, who did make for awesome television. Seriously, Devyn was the closest we'd get to Coral and Melissa back then.

Trishelle did not go out on that high. Instead, she followed up her only completed season with Rivals II, teamed with Sarah. Remember what I said about her and underwhelming teammates? Anyway, Trishelle got into it with Aneesa, and Trishelle wound up bailing on the game, never to return because host TJ Lavin HATES quitters. And Sarah was booted from her second Challenge in three seasons thanks to a partner being an asshole (fat fuck Vinny pulled Mandi's top off in Battle Of The Exes). Like I said: Challenge Gods did not like Sarah.

I leave you with what I would like Trishelle's ultimate legacy to be: popping up in the video for William Hung's cover of "She Bangs," fighting another woman over him. Yes, this really happened. Well, in a video, but you know what I mean. Also, when confirming Trishelle's appearance, I had it on mute. Because I may hate myself, but I don't hate myself that much.

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