Saturday, September 19, 2009

Battle of the Sexes (2003)

Once upon a time, I considered Rachel, Veronica and Eric Nies to be human beings, I thought Emily was the biggest bitch out there, and that Puck was the biggest douche alive. Guess which two I've reconsidered since my time recapping Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle Of The Sexes?

After my stint on Dog Days, I picked up where Television Without Pity left off, recapping Bunim-Murray Production's band of money-hungry misfits and their monkeyshines. In retrospect, I think I did a good job, even if I was easily irritated and in the proverbial bag for Melissa. You'll see lots of quotes, requests to shut up, and the feeling that I could be doing something else. And that's what I called "fun."

Prelude: Once Upon A Time In Jamaica A brief history of the franchise prior to Battle Of The Sexes. (posted on Augst 29, 2016) 

The Good, the Bad & the Notorious Host Jonny "Big Air" Moseley and contestant Ruthie preview the newest season of the Challenge.

Guide to the Fantasy Game Remember the fantasy game on, where you picked players and got points for all the stuff they did? I give advise here. Oh, and I didn't pick Puck during the whole season, because I would have felt dirty.

Episodes 1 & 2: Jamaica Me Crazy The season starts strong, with a fierce battle between David from Los Angeles and Puck, Melissa ranking on her roommate-turned-enemy Julie, and one of the biggest upsets in Challenge history.

Episode 3: Riding (and Dying) in Cars with Boys Laterrian's gung ho attitude gets him nowhere with a pitiful score, while Beth gets booted over a pregnant Gladys. Also: Ruthie reveals herself as Superwoman for the first time.

Episode 4: Log Cabin Fever Puck celebrates his birthday by picking on Ellen. Meanwhile, the teams try their hand at log cabin building, and Jisela contemplates killing Jonny.

Episode 5: Will You Be My Baby Tonight? The sweet romance between one of the most egocentric characters in BMP history and crazy Ayanna fizzles as David is voted out of the game. Also: Puck's relatively sane fiance and baby son come to Jamaica, and he apparently threatens to kick Ellen's ass.

Episode 6: My Big Fat Puck Wedding If you ever hated Puck as much as I do, this is not the episode for you. I suffer through it so you don't have to. Also: Aneesa walks around topless.

Episode 7: Everybody Loathes Ellen Ellen works everybody's nerves, including mine. Puck wins a mission with Theo. Bonus: my somewhat flawed Survivor: The Amazon predictions.

Episode 8: Cold-Butted Snakes The drama peaks as Emily convinces Ellen and Ruthie to screw team protocol and vote off Rachel. Also: an ice-cold mission turns Melissa into a Melissicle.

Episode 9: Life Goes On, Puck makes a dramatic exit from the game. Dan's welcomed back with open arms, only to depart yet again.

Sharing the Blame: An Analysis of Puck’s Departure from ‘Battle of the Sexes’ I put a little too much thought into Puck leaving and BMP's less-than-stellar efforts.

Episode 10: Shirks and Skins A mission involving trivia and stripping splinters the girls' team, even though THE STRIPPING IS STRICTLY OPTIONAL. In other news, Veronica fails to get Emily booted, and Jake leaves on his own. Jake who? Exactly.

A Midseason Review With an off-week, I take a look at the season thus far. Also: my conspiracy theory centering on the David/Puck fight.

Men’s Midterm Review A look at the men's highlights so far.

Women’s Midterm Review A look at the women's highlights so far.

Episode 11: The Ancient Jungle Monkey (And Other Jamaican Folk Tales) While Emily's clique bashes Veronica, Eric climbs like the eldery simian that he is.

Episode 12: True Colors Emily (and her bloody axe) strikes again, convincing Ellen and Ruthie to dump Veronica and her ton of makeup. Also: Jamie is sexual chocolate, while Melissa makes like a poor man's Peter Pan.

Episode 13: Ayanna Get Your Gun It's Ayanna vs. the underfed Anne, as the girls are overmatched by the guys (with a Warriors-invoking Jamie) and their laser guns.

Episode 14: Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Shane contemplates leaving the game, stays on, wins the mission, and finally puts the Ion Lifesaver to good use.

Episode 15: Passing the Franc At long last, the men are forced to make a decision as to who should get sent packing, and their choice has a major effect for the women.

Episode 16: Everybody Sucks Don't mind me . . . I'm just mad at everybody and everything, including MTV for a technical glitch.

Episode 17: Penultimate Plunge, A harrowing mission gives Ruthie the best stage to show off her superhuman skills. In other news, two of the most entertaining players are eliminated, and Lori finally gets some camera time.

Episode 18: Finale The guys and girls fight it out for the $150,000 grand prize, and the boys kind of cheat to win it all.

Hot & Bothered: The RW/RR Challenge Battle of the Sexes Reunion Cast members reunite to look back at BOTS.

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