Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Jason Gets It Together (Sort Of)

It’s 12:53 a.m. as I type this. Apparently, I made it home in one piece. Upon unpacking, I can’t say the same about a few of the toys I picked up. In other news, there’s a lot I’ll need to tackle in the coming days. For one thing, I got a laptop that might be on its last legs. Being home doesn’t help, so I can’t get online until I hit the libraries, meaning I still have to write this out in Safe Mode, save it to the flash drive, then upload it when I can get the chance. That means I’ll have to see a repair guy to figure out my next move . . . either get my laptop fixed, or pick up a slightly-used model, which is what the guy suggested the last time I got grief from the laptop.

My big adventure has been fraught with mishaps, and today wasn’t much different. I cleared out the hotel room (or I think I did . . . once again, I might be missing toy parts), took the bus to the airport, and had trouble finding the right gate. Apparently, I got off the bus too early, so I needed to take the monorail to the right terminal. I found the line for Continental, and I waited. And waited. And waited. I figured out that I was running late, and my leg started to shake. I started making the “what the fucking fuck?!?” gestures towards the few people working the lines. I know it was a shitty move, but I had this image of being told that I missed the cutoff point, that my luggage couldn’t make it on the plane, and that I’d have to stay in Toronto for one more night. I did not want that. Dear Lord, I could not take being away from home for this long. By my memory, this had been my longest trip since going to Chicago for six nights some ten years ago. Thanks to the extra night’s stay, the Internet fees (including failing to get to my favorite sites . . . no clue why that happened) and the exchange rate, this was probably my most expensive solo trip. I needed to get the hell home.

Thankfully, I got guided through the procedure and I made it to customs. The bad news? I thought that I was running out of time, so I spent about two minutes in a duty-free shop before legging it towards the long corridor. At Newark Liberty, the gates aren’t isolated from the shops and the restaurants. Pearson is another story . . . because I was convinced that the plane would start boarding soon, and because I didn’t check the damn departure board, I wound up having to pay $10 for a turkey sandwich with Doritos and soda. Also, not only I couldn’t pick up a t-shirt for myself, I failed to buy a cap for my grandfather. In my defense, when I was at the duty-free shop, I couldn’t find anything with “Toronto” on it. “Canada,” sure, but not “Toronto.” The only bright side is that Grandpa probably won’t remember that I told him I’d pick up something.

The plane ride was a little nerve-racking. I know it sounds silly, but I was thinking something bad would happen between the airport and home. Not like I kept seeing a pale man arguing with a security guard about checking in a scythe, but I was on guard. It was weird to go between paranoia and napping. I kept seeing a light in the reflection of the window across from me, and I was convinced something was in the overheard compartment. Turns out that it was on the wing outside, and I couldn’t tell the difference. I wound up landing later than I had figured, but I wasn’t ready to rest yet. I almost went out of my way to exchange my currency, until I found out that the booth was near the baggage claim area, which means the guy I asked was probably full of crap.

And now I’m home. I got a laptop to get examined. I got a temp agency guy to call and let know that I’m home. I got recorded stuff to watch. I checked out the Rivals finale, and I was right . . . nice guys don’t win on The Challenge. The douchebag team of Johnny & Tyler beat the douchebag team of Kenny & Wes. Also, Paula finally won a Challenge, but she needed to hook her wagon to a fug athlete like Evelyn to pull it off, so you gotta put an asterisk on that. I forgot to set up for a few programs at home, but they’re no big loss. I also missed the premiere of Ridiculousness, the new video clip show featuring MTV personality Rob Dyrdek. On the bright side, I can record it while I’m out tomorrow. Rob is better than any Guido, teen mother or any other idiot on MTV’s primetime, so I need to see it ASAP.

To sum up: I had fun. I got slammed around by petty misfortune, and my sanity got a little shredded, but I managed to get through it. There’s a lot of stuff I didn’t get to see, so I have incentive to go back in the future. For anybody who’s put off by the ever-expanding Comic-Con International in San Diego or can’t fly out there for any reason, Fan Expo Canada is probably the way to go. As for me, I gotta get my ass in gear and look for a life of my own . . . at least until October, when New York Comic Con invades the Javits Center in Manhattan. It’ll be good to have home-field advantage this time.

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