What else do you expect? The Challenge is where hope goes to die. Even in seasons ending with the good guys winning (e.g., the Good Guys in Inferno II), there's an element in the finale that's hard to scrub away (e.g., the "Mean Girls" troika treating Tonya like shit, even in the final mission). This season was supposed to be a bit of a relief; John "Johnny Bananas" Devenanzio was taking a break after lucking into back-to-back wins, and Kenny Santucci and Evan Starkman were on the "Do Not Contact" list in the wake of allegations of Tonya Cooley that they violated her with a toothbrush. While the case was settled out of court, my bile for those two and Johnny -- whom I kept dubbing "Axis of Ass" -- had not subsided. Even with thirteen new headcases from Bunim-Murray properties, I figured that the worst was over. I consider myself a smart person, yet I never seem to tire from being wrong.
I can talk smack about old headaches like Trishelle (not nearly a slut these days, but still) and Wes (still goes into every Challenge thinking he's King Shit of Turd Mountain), rookie douchebag Ryan Knight (from the New Orleans-based season of The Real World that was far inferior than its predecessor) and hipster doofus Chet (a revamped version of Matt from RW: New Orleans for a new decade). But the real enemies of all things decent hailed from the most recent edition of The Real World: San Diego: alpha dick Zach and Frank. Especially Frank. Every time he opened his mouth, he set gay rights back fifty years. Out of all the assholes on reality television in 2012, he might have come closest to matching Colton Cumbie (Survivor: One World) in sheer obnoxiousness. And that fucker was such a stain, I kept waiting for Dan Savage and Rick Santorum to write a joint statement condemning the gay Republican.
Unfortunately, an inflamed appendix didn't take down Frank like it did Colton. The San Diego quartet won $250,000, but at the expense of Sam's dignity. Sam is short for "Samantha," though the butch lesbian with the small Mohawk-style haircut would raise an eyebrow being called by her full name. On two missions, including the finale, she was bullied by Zach and Frank. At one point, Frank actually shoved Sam into the sand . . . and the little shit actually denied it in the follow-up reunion special, even though it was taped. I sincerely hope $62,500 will be enough for Sam to get therapy for spending a month with Zach and Frank.
As always, the future of The Challenge looks bleak, at least for intelligent viewers. Zach and Frank would be considered assets for BMP to bring back, and Evan and Kenny might be wiped off the "Naughty" list. Meanwhile, Coral ain't coming back. CT ain't coming back. Diem has been a headache in past seasons, but she managed to squash long-held beefs with CT in Battle of the Exes . . . but her cancer has since come back. And I can't see anybody coming in, cleaning house, and making this crap watchable. Well . . . watchable where I don't feel like showering afterward. In the meantime, here are the career stats of all BOTS participants.
The Real World: Austin
Danny Jamieson
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Inferno 3
|
Bad Asses
|
3
|
3
|
.500
|
-
|
Davis
|
Gauntlet III
|
Veterans
|
10
|
5
|
.667
|
-
|
Adam
|
The Ruins
|
Challengers
|
1
|
3
|
.250
|
-
|
Darrell
|
Total
|
14
|
11
|
.560
|
0
|
3
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat
|
Evelyn
|
2
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Wes/Casey
|
Fresh Meat II
|
Sandy
|
5
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Jillian/Pete
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Austin
|
2
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Camila/Ericms
|
Total
|
9
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
2
|
|
ms Competed with Melinda Stolp
Lacey Buehler
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Austin
|
1
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Eric/Cara Mariawb
|
Total
|
1
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
1
|
|
wb Competed with Wes Bergmann
Melinda Stolp
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Gauntlet III
|
Rookies
|
2
|
8
|
.200
|
-
|
Tori
|
Cutthroat
|
Red
|
2
|
4
|
.333
|
-
|
Emily
|
Total
|
4
|
12
|
.250
|
0
|
2
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat
|
Ryan
|
4
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Wes/Casey
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Austin
|
2
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Camila/Ericdj
|
Total
|
4
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
1
|
|
dj Competed with Danny Jamieson
Wes Bergmann
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
The Ruins
|
Champions
|
4
|
1
|
.800
|
Chet, Nick
|
Cohutta
|
Total
|
4
|
1
|
.800
|
2
|
1
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat
|
Casey
|
16
|
0
|
.000
|
Danny/Evelyn,
Melinda/Ryan Johanna/Jesse, Tonya/Johnnie, Shane/Linette
|
-
|
The Duel
|
Solo
|
16
|
3
|
.188
|
Derrick
|
-
|
Fresh Meat II
|
Mandi
|
7
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Evelyn/Luke
|
Rivals
|
Kenny
|
9
|
1
|
.111
|
Davis/Tyrie,
Brandon/Ty
|
-
|
Battle of the Exes
|
Mandi
|
2
|
0
|
.000
|
Nate/Priscilla
|
Leroy/Naomi
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Austin
|
1
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Eric/Cara Marialb
|
Total
|
51
|
4
|
.078
|
9
|
3
|
|
lb Competed with Lacey Buehler
The Real World: Brooklyn
Chet Cannon
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
The Ruins
|
Challengers
|
0
|
1
|
.000
|
-
|
Wes
|
Cutthroat*
|
Red
|
2
|
3
|
.400
|
-
|
-
|
Total
|
2
|
4
|
.333
|
0
|
1
|
|
* Removed from game after
suffering concussion.
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the
Seasons (2012)
|
Brooklyn
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
Brandon/Cara
Mariasr,
McKenzie/Prestonsr
|
-
|
Total
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
2
|
0
|
|
sr Competed with Sarah Rice
Devyn Simone
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the
Seasons (2012)
|
Brooklyn
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
Camila/Ericjdo*
|
-
|
Total
|
2
|
10
|
.167
|
1
|
0
|
|
jdo Competed with JD Ordonez
* Arena was stopped after Eric quit, eliminating
himself and Camila
JD Ordonez
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Cutthroat
|
Grey
|
1
|
1
|
.500
|
-
|
Brandon
|
Total
|
1
|
1
|
.500
|
0
|
1
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the
Seasons (2012)
|
Brooklyn
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
Camila/Ericds*
|
-
|
Total
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
1
|
0
|
|
jdo Competed with Devyn Simone
* Arena was stopped after Eric quit, eliminating
himself and Camila
Sarah Rice
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
The Ruins
|
Challengers
|
1
|
9
|
.100
|
Katie,
Johanna
|
-
|
Cutthroat
|
Grey
|
5
|
5
|
.500
|
-
|
-
|
Total
|
6
|
14
|
.300
|
2
|
0
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat II
|
Vinny
|
2
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Kenny/Laurel
|
Rivals
|
Katelynn
|
5
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Jasmine/Jonna
|
Battle of the Exes*
|
Vinny
|
2
|
1
|
.500
|
-
|
-
|
Battle of the
Seasons (2012)
|
Brooklyn
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
Brandon/Cara
Mariacc,
McKenzie/Prestoncc
|
|
Total
|
21
|
3
|
.143
|
2
|
2
|
|
* Removed from the game after
Vinny ripped Mandi’s top off following the second mission.
cc Competed with Chet Cannon
The Real World: Cancun
Christian "CJ" Koegel
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat II
|
Sydney
|
6
|
0
|
.000
|
Katelynn/Brandon*
|
Landon/Carley
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Cancun
|
8
|
2
|
.250
|
-
|
Zach/Samjr
|
Total
|
14
|
2
|
.143
|
1
|
2
|
|
* Brandon was disqualified
for drinking alcohol prior to the Exile.
jr
Competed with Jasmine Reynard
Derek Chavez
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Cutthroat
|
Grey
|
0
|
1
|
.000
|
-
|
Brandon
|
Total
|
0
|
1
|
.000
|
0
|
1
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the
Seasons (2012)
|
Cancun
|
11
|
2
|
.182
|
-
|
Ashley/Frankdc
|
Total
|
11
|
2
|
.182
|
0
|
1
|
|
jm Competed with Jonna Mannion
Jasmine Reynard
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Rivals
|
Jonna
|
7
|
1
|
.143
|
Katelynn/Sarah
|
Cara Maria/Laurel
|
Battle of the Exes
|
Tyrie
|
4
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Rachel/Aneesa
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Cancun
|
8
|
2
|
.250
|
-
|
Zach/Samcjk
|
Total
|
19
|
3
|
.158
|
1
|
3
|
|
cjk Competed with CJ Koegel
Jonna Mannion
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Rivals
|
Jasmine
|
7
|
1
|
.143
|
Katelynn/Sarah
|
Cara Maria/Laurel
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Cancun
|
11
|
2
|
.182
|
-
|
Ashley/Frankdc
|
Total
|
18
|
3
|
.167
|
1
|
2
|
|
dc Competed with Derek Chavez
Team Fresh Meat
Brandon Drake Nelson (Fresh Meat II)
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Cutthroat
|
Red
|
2
|
4
|
.333
|
Derek, JD, Ty
|
Derrick
|
Total
|
2
|
4
|
.333
|
3
|
1
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat II
|
Katelynn
|
4
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
CJ/Sydney*
|
Rivals
|
Ty
|
4
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Kenny/Wes
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Fresh Meat
|
3
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Chet/Sarahcms
|
Total
|
11
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
3
|
|
* Brandon was disqualified for drinking alcohol
before the Exile.
cms
Competed with Cara Maria Sorbello
Camila Nakagawa (Spring
Break Challenge)
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Cutthroat
|
Red
|
2
|
5
|
.286
|
Emilee, Katie
|
Laurel
|
Total
|
2
|
5
|
.286
|
2
|
1
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Rivals
|
Theresa
|
3
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Cara Maria/Laurel
|
Battle Of The Exes
|
Johnny
|
9
|
4
|
.444
|
Mark/Robin
|
-
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Fresh Meat
|
4
|
0
|
.000
|
Danny/Melindaeb*
|
JD/Devyneb
|
Total
|
16
|
4
|
.250
|
2
|
2
|
|
eb Competed with Eric Banks
* Eric quit the Arena, forfeiting the match for Camila
and himself
Cara Maria Sorbello (Fresh Meat II)
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Cutthroat
|
Grey
|
5
|
5
|
.500
|
Mandi
|
-
|
Total
|
5
|
5
|
.500
|
1
|
0
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat II
|
Darrell
|
1
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Jillian/Pete
|
Rivals
|
Laurel
|
9
|
1
|
.111
|
Camila/Theresa,
Jasmine/Jonna
|
-
|
Battle Of The Exes
|
Abram
|
5
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Ty/Emily
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Fresh Meat
|
3
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Chet/Sarahbdn
|
Total
|
18
|
1
|
..056
|
2
|
2
|
|
bdn Competed with Brandon Drake Nelson
Eric “Big Easy” Banks (Fresh Meat)
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Gauntlet
III
|
Veterans
|
10
|
6
|
.625
|
-
|
-
|
Cutthroat
|
Blue
|
1
|
3
|
.250
|
Vinny
|
Luke
|
Total
|
11
|
9
|
.550
|
1
|
1
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Fresh Meat
|
Katie
|
10
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Tina/Kenny
|
The Duel
|
Solo
|
11
|
1
|
.091
|
Nehemiah
|
Brad
|
Duel II
|
Solo
|
6
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Derek
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Fresh Meat
|
4
|
0
|
.000
|
Lacey/Wescms, Danny/Melindacn
|
Devyn/JDcn*
|
Total
|
31
|
1
|
.032
|
3
|
4
|
|
cms Competed with Cara Maria Sorbello
cn Competed with Camila Nakagawa
* Quit in the middle of the Arena, forfeiting the match
for himself and Camila
The Real World: Las Vegas
(2002 & 2011)
Alton Williams
(2002)
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
The
Gauntlet
|
Real World
|
6
|
9
|
.400
|
Laterrian
|
-
|
Gauntlet 2
|
Rookies
|
10
|
6
|
.625
|
Danny,
Adam K., Jeremy
|
-
|
Inferno 3
|
Good Guys
|
6
|
10
|
.375
|
Tyrie
|
-
|
Total
|
22
|
25
|
.468
|
5
|
0
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Las Vegas
|
9
|
1
|
.111
|
-
|
Robb/Marieng
|
Total
|
9
|
1
|
.111
|
0
|
1
|
|
ng Competed with Nany González
Dustin Zito (2011)
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Exes
|
Heather
|
2*
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
-
|
Battle of the
Seasons (2012)
|
Las
Vegas
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
Laura/Treyng
Marie/Robb
tc
|
-
|
Total
|
14
|
2
|
.143
|
2
|
0
|
|
* Injured; removed from game
prior to third mission.
ng Competed with Nany Gonzalez
tc Competed with Trishelle Canatella
Nany González (2011)
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
Las Vegas
|
9
|
1
|
.111
|
Laura/Treydz
|
Robb/Marieaw
|
Total
|
9
|
1
|
.111
|
1
|
1
|
|
dz Competed with Dustin Zito
aw Competed with Alton Williams
Trishelle Cannatella (2002)
Missions
|
Endgames
|
|||||
Season
|
Team
|
W
|
L
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
The Gauntlet
|
Real World
|
3
|
6
|
.333
|
Steve
|
Sarah
|
The Inferno
|
Real World
|
1
|
3
|
.250
|
-
|
Holly
|
Total
|
4
|
9
|
.308
|
1
|
2
|
|
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the
Seasons (2012)
|
Las
Vegas
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
Marie/Robbdz
|
-
|
Total
|
12
|
2
|
.167
|
1
|
0
|
|
dz Competed with Dustin Zito
The Real World: New Orleans
(2010)
Jemmye Carroll
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Season (2012)
|
New Orleans
|
7
|
1
|
.143
|
-
|
Zach/Samrk
|
Total
|
7
|
1
|
.143
|
0
|
1
|
|
rk Competed with Ryan Knight
McKenzie Coburn
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Season (2012)
|
New Orleans
|
5
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Chet/Sarahprc
|
Total
|
5
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
1
|
|
prc Competed with Preston Roberson-Charles
Preston Roberson-Charles
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Season (2012)
|
New Orleans
|
5
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Chet/Sarahmc
|
Total
|
5
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
1
|
|
mc Competed with McKenzie Coburn
Ryan Knight
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Season (2012)
|
New Orleans
|
7
|
1
|
.143
|
-
|
Zach/Samjc
|
Total
|
7
|
1
|
.143
|
0
|
1
|
|
jc Competed with Jemmye Carroll
The Real World: St. Thomas
Laura Waller
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
St. Thomas
|
6
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Dustin/Nanytw
|
Total
|
6
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
1
|
|
tw Competed with Trey Weatherholtz
Marie Roda
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
St. Thomas
|
10
|
0
|
.000
|
Alton/Nanyrs
|
Dustin/Trishellers
|
Total
|
10
|
0
|
.000
|
1
|
1
|
|
rs Competed with Robb Schreiber
Robb Schreiber
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
St. Thomas
|
10
|
0
|
.000
|
Alton/Nanyrs
|
Dustin/Trishellers
|
Total
|
10
|
0
|
.000
|
1
|
1
|
|
mr Competed with Marie Roda
Trey Weatherholtz
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Season (2012)
|
St. Thomas
|
6
|
0
|
.000
|
-
|
Dustin/Nanylw
|
Total
|
6
|
0
|
.000
|
0
|
1
|
|
lw Competed with Laura Waller
The Real World: San Diego
(2011)
Ashley Kelsey
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
San Diego
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
Derek/Jonnafs
|
-
|
Total
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
1
|
0
|
|
fs Competed with Frank Sweeny
Frank Sweeney
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
San Diego
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
Derek/Jonnaak
|
-
|
Total
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
1
|
0
|
|
ak Competed with Ashley Kelsey
Sam McGinn
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
San Diego
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
Jemmye/Knight
zn CJ/Jasmine zn
|
-
|
Total
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
2
|
0
|
|
zn Competed with Zach Nichols
Zach Nichols
Endgames
|
||||||
Season
|
Partner
|
Missions
|
Wins
|
Pct.
|
W
|
L
|
Battle of the Seasons (2012)
|
San Diego
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
Jemmye/Knightsm CJ/Jasmine sm
|
-
|
Total
|
12
|
5
|
.417
|
2
|
0
|
|
sm Competed with Sam McGinn
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