Battle of the Sexes 2 Episode 9: Swing For It

Another season of The Challenge is nigh. Last night, MTV ran the run-up to War of the Worlds, with the game launching next week. Apparently, Bunim-Murray Productions were so impressed with the English imports, they've decided to recruit worldwide (okay, technically the Americas, Europe and Australia). Bottom line: same drama, more accents! Also, Natalie Duran from American Ninja Warrior. While I don't think she's in the upper echelon of top female ninjas (is that stealthy racist? I always feel weird using that term) and she's not a favorite of mine, I do fear for her mental and physical health. I like ANW, and now I have to worry about ninjas getting recruited for future Challenges, especially youngsters like the phenom Mathis "Kid" Owhadi, who will probably clear all obstacles within a few years. Catching hell and/or STDs from Challenge veterans should not be an option for him.

Oh, and I found out that Natalie (dubbed "Ninja," mostly because "Natalie That Isn't a Waste Of Genetic Material" was too long) has a degree in neuroscience. Awesome . . . maybe she could crack some skulls open and see why the veterans act like fools. And if someone like Natalie, Ashley or Paulie are permanently affected? Well, you can't have an omelette without cracking eggs.

This episode? Girls struggle, and we see the last of Abram's replacement from Road Rules: South Pacific. Basically, "meh."

Episode Aired: November 29, 2004
Recap Posted: December 4, 2004

Arissa deals with her fear of heights. Chris deals with getting hitched. Everybody else deals with a grueling ropes course.

Previously on Battle of the Sexes 2: Katie joined up with the newbies to target the veterans' alliance. The guys won Fill 'Er Up, upping their record to 6-1. Mike was finally let go by the guys, while the rookies on the girls' team picked off Rachel. Veronica vowed vengeance on those who took Rachel out. Three weeks ago, I put Angela, Rachel and Veronica on top of my "Needs to Go" list. Will I be lucky tonight?

Night. The guys are celebrating. Are they going into a rousing chorus of "Ding Dong, The Miz Is Gone"? No, it's all for Chris, who is getting married in two days. Turns out the guys are throwing a bachelor party, complete with a stripper. Not the best idea for a guy who turned his life over to a higher power years ago. He laughs, looking somewhat embarrassed. Can you imagine Matt in the same situation? The poor boy would turn white. Well, whiter. Theo: "I think Chris might be thinking that this bachelor party may end up keeping him as a bachelor for the rest of his life!" Whatever. Chris interviews that he did not sign up for this. Also, he's sitting in front of a blue screen with a giant cross. Did I mention he's religious? Because the editors don't think you got that.

Over at the Girls' Lodge, Katie and Arissa chat about the game. Arissa makes with the recreational profanity, saying she wasn't prepared for the game. She also confesses to being afraid of heights and bugs. Well, she got one fear out of the way last week. "I don't really see myself stepping down from anything," she interviews. "That's what makes a good competitor. You go out and you do what's presented in front of you." My foreshadowing sense is tingling. Katie admits to sucking in missions, but she does them. She interviews that she can win the money at the end. More tingling!

Now let's take a look at Chris's itinerary: drive five hours to Amarillo, Texas. Catch a plane and fly to San Antonio, arriving at 9:09. Make the 9:30 wedding rehearsal. Take a nap. Get married at 7. Have a honeymoon night. Fly back to Santa Fe, all in 36 hours. You know, if he moved the wedding to Santa Fe, he could save himself some trouble. Oh, wait ... he's not Puck. And for that, I am truly thankful.

Clue time! Arissa reads off the sponsor phone: get ready to go at 8 a.m., and wear a bathing suit.

Daytime. Veronica: "I feel like we killed ourselves when we sent Rachel home. We don't have our strength anymore, and I know it's gonna bite us in the ass." First of all, your team went 1-6 with Rachel. I'm pretty sure you could have gone 1-6 without her. Secondly: you've been on three Challenges with Rachel. When has she ever stepped up big? Seriously, I know you two are friends (and perhaps more, if the rumors are true), but let's be realistic here. Anyway, Veronica bitches about the vote to the other girls, not understanding how one person can slide by when she hasn't performed as well. Tina fills in the blanks for us, saying that she didn't vote for Tonya because Tonya had redeemed herself. Coral thinks that they can't vote based on one disqualification. She interviews that Tonya has two infractions to Rachel's one, and Rachel's DQ didn't make a difference. Coral then calls out Ibis and her friends, saying, "You don't act like you're so above people not voting for people." Ibis's general reaction: "Whuh?" Katie interviews that some people play the game dirty, and she broke the Coral-Rachel-Veronica alliance to give the rookies (naming Robin, Ibis, and Sophia) a chance to make it to the end. Tina thinks that leaders are supposed to step up. She interviews that she doesn't like how the meeting is going and that the girls are voting on emotion and not on the game.

On the bus, the players relax. Chris reads on the bus as we get a few fleeting glimpses of the wedding. He's had one honeymoon night, but he's back in the game. "People think I'm crazy because I'm doing the Challenge and I'm getting married," he interviews. "But this would be an awesome way to start off a family, with a nice lump sum of $60,000 in my pocket."

The kids arrive to find yet another metal contraption hanging over water. I've lost count... how many times have we seen this on a Challenge? This one has ropes dangling from it. Jonny welcomes everybody to today's mission: Sa-Wing! Yes, it has an exclamation point at the end. I have issues with that. In this mission, the players will use the ropes to swing from one side to the other. Arissa interviews that she's petrified of heights. "It was a fear that I thought I had conquered when I was in Australia," she interviews, "which is a crock of [bleep]." She hopes that she won't have to put herself out there. Jonny adds that the object is to get as many people across as possible. The players will climb down a ladder and go on a rope, sitting or standing on a pipe at the rope's bottom. They would start swinging from there. If both teams get the same number of people across, the faster team wins. Today's prize: guitars, valued at $600 apiece. Jonny gives both sides the usual 30 minutes to pick leaders.

Theo and Brad step up to lead. Mark asks who else wants to go. Steven: "Who wants to be guaranteed not to go home?" It's just foreshadowing of next week's episode, so I'll just say, "Shut up, Steven," and move on. Shane steps up to lead. On the other side, Katie finally volunteers to lead and interviews that it's time to prove herself. Ibis and Ruthie follow her.

Jonny reveals the team leaders. The players get loaded into the contraption. Jonny blows his air horn. Ruthie and Eric are the first to climb down. Eric interviews that he's doing well. "Whenever my team is looking for a fall guy," he continues, "they know that they can count on me." But he struggles, hanging upside down on the pipe. He interviews that his upper body is "almost at complete and total failure." Steven interviews that Eric having trouble scares the whole team. Background music: "Let it go, let it go." Finally, Eric splashes down. I'd make a snide comment, but I'll leave it to Tina. "Eric Nies the jump rope king can't even hold his own body weight. How's your jump rope helping you now, huh?" Thanks, Tina!

Players swing from the ropes. Ruthie declares that she needs to rest. Eric shouts advice to Frank from the sidelines, but Frank falls anyway. Katie interviews that she feels confident, since the guys are dropping and all the girls are still in there, even if they're in one place. The guys struggle some more, and Ruthie is exhausted. She interviews that the mission is much harder than it looks. She doesn't want to hold her team back, but they want her to get out of their way.

Shane drops. Mark interviews that none of the guys have finished. He manages to complete the course, putting the guys up, 1-0. He yells for his team to save their arm strength. Ruthie is still hanging on. Tonya: "It's hard being a team leader, but she needs to step it up." Katie tries to hold on, but she drops. She interviews that the longer she hung on, the more arm strength she needed. "It's hard to go from point A to point B," she adds, "when someone else hasn't even gotten off point B." Ruthie as a weak link? I never saw that coming.

Steven finishes, extending the guys' lead to 2-0. Randy drops. Ruthie takes a last gasp in pain before dropping. "I wanted to set an example for the team," she interviews, "and I feel like I [bleeped] up." She pounds on the water in anger. Nick drops. Coral finishes up, bringing the score to 2-1. "I can back up what I say," Coral interviews. "The reason why I can talk so much [bleep] is because I'm a good player." Aneesa and Tonya drop. Brad finishes (3-1), Ibis drops while Theo finishes (4-1). Robin and Tina finish (4-3).

Arissa starts going down the ladder and she's shaking. She shrieks, wanting to go back up. To her credit, Veronica tries to encourage Arissa, but she's willing to go home.

After the commercials, Arissa is still in a lot of trouble. Not as bad as Leah last season, but pretty bad. Meanwhile, Mark and Theo are eating sandwiches. At least this mission is catered. Arissa is still willing to go home for her fear. Ruthie glumly interviews that if Arissa doesn't make it, the team will lose. While this is going on, Chris swings on the ropes. Theo: "C'mon, bro, you can bear that cross, baby!" Arissa climbs back up on the contraption. Sophia dangles, while Chris flails and falls. Coral yells to Sophia and Veronica that they have to make it. Dan finishes the mission, giving the men a 5-3 lead. Sophia explains that she and Veronica have to cross, then Arissa must finish to give the women a victory. Sure enough, Sophia and Veronica finish, knotting the score at 5-5.

Arissa looks down. "I'm afraid," she interviews, as she lowers herself down to the rope. "But no matter how frightened I am, or how much I think I'll never be able to do it, I have to do it because I have no choice." She swings, trying to cross, but she drops. Game over. The guys celebrate. Arissa interviews, that she's very hard on herself in terms of competition. She adds, "I never even realized I was like this until I got here."

Jonny wraps things up: since the guys finished first, they win the mission and the guitars. Jonny gives the usual Inner Circle spiel: the three men's team leaders will pick off one guy, and the ladies will take out one of their leaders. Chris interviews that he's proud of Dan and the rest of the guys, but he wants to go home and be with his wife.

On the bus ride back home, Chris tells Theo and Mark about his plan. He interviews that he's putting himself on the block. Theo sees that Chris wants to leave, and that he's starting a "whole new adventure." Chris says, "I got the grand prize waiting at home. I already won!" Getting over $10,000 in prizes doesn't hurt, either.

Boys' Inner Circle Meeting. For whatever reason, all three guys are in bed. Here's the short version: Chris wants to go home. They don't have to grant his wish, but they will. Brad wants to go to sleep.

Girls' Inner Circle Meeting. Tina votes on performance and goes with Katie. Coral feels that Ruthie deserves another chance, and she goes with Katie. Robin notes that none of the leaders completed the mission, and Ruthie was the first to fall, so she gets her vote. Tonya adores Ruthie, but she's voting for her since Katie keeps improving. Here's my question: where's Ibis? I mean, she's probably a nice person, but Ruthie is a warrior, and Katie's a snarky little princess, and I'd miss her online columns. [Note: the Archived link covers the previous episode.]

Elimination Hill. Shane comes up on behalf of his Inner Circle. I notice several of the guys wearing light blue shirts, each one blurred out. Shane respects and admires Chris, and he sends him off with a big hug. Chris tells the assembled players that he weighed his options between his wife and the money, and he had to go home.

Robin comes up to announce the Girls' Inner Circle decision. She says that it was a difficult decision to make. Our unlucky bootee? Katie. Drat. Katie gives out a hug, clearly not feeling bitter. She says that this was more fun than the other Challenges she's been on, and she hopes her team wins. Coral interviews that she's sad to see Katie go, but Ruthie is a "kick-ass girl."

Girls' Lounge. Tina leads a toast to Katie and the way she kicked ass on Gauntlet and Inferno. "There are two ways to leave when you are sent home," Katie interviews. "You can either scream and cry, or you can leave with dignity and pride, hold your head up high, and realize you made it halfway through the game, and you met some cool people." Good for her. The last season was downright brutal for her, and it's nice that she had allies this time. She adds that she already won a Challenge, but this wasn't her time.

Chris departs with the guys escorting him. Eric calls this "a happy goodbye." Chris is excited to go back home. I like him, too. I'm actually going to forgive him for voting off Cara from South Pacific and keeping Donell. Chris and Katie get into the car. "Sweetheart, I love you," Chris interviews. "I can't wait to come home." The car departs. Fade to black.

Next time: Mark and Robin get closer. Given how we first saw Mark on RW: San Francisco as a candidate to replace Puck ten years ago, isn't that robbing the cradle? Robin thinks it's too early to tell what will happen. The mission: something to do with guiding a metal rod and not getting shocked. Five bucks says that Tina makes a crass comment about the guys handling poles. Steven: "Unlike the girls, we don't have weak players." Arissa tears Steven up in her interview, as we inch towards an intrahouse showdown. And apparently, Steven is so awful, he provokes an outburst from Sophia. If seeing the Mistress of Mellow unhinged isn't weird enough, try this: her hair is straight. Her minifro is gone. For some reason, I am scared.

You think Mike was watching at home, fuming at the idea that the next guy out of the game basically volunteered? Eh, probably not. As for Chris, he and the missus have this (very religious) website, as well as five kids. And yes, Jenni is the woman he married in 2004. I didn't think much of him back on RR: South Pacific. The only people I really liked were Dave and Christena, and she had flat-out disappointed me in the prior season.

Katie went on to do six more Challenges (including Gauntlet 2), but was never able to add to her win in The Inferno. I didn't think much of her in her original tour of duty (RR: The Quest), but I grew to be okay with her. Well, at least when she was surrounded by people way more annoying than her.