Saturday, May 08, 2010

Reality Rant: The Road To TARCon

I was going to write a long-winded essay on the upcoming season finale of The Amazing Race, but I've been distracted. And when I say "distracted," I mean "procrastinating like hell."

What it boils down to is that we have a chance to have a team win that's also a true fan favorite. No offense to the likes of recent champions TK & Rachel, Nick & Starr, Tammy & Victor and Meghan & Cheyne, but as pleasant as they all were, they were just the most enjoyable in comparison to other teams, but bland in the bigger picture. This season, we have Jet & Cord McCoy, the affable cowboys from Oklahoma. In a bit of kismet, I actually recapped them when they were on Kevin & Drew Unleashed in 2004. Aside from a mild outburst at the Pit Stop in Seychelles, they've been an exemplary duo, winning four legs and a lot of fans in the process. If they win, this would make up for the Harlem Globetrotters -- "Flight Time" and "Big Easy" -- melting down in the penultimate leg last season. Even with the somewhat repetitive "Oh, my gravy!" talk, they're fun to watch.

Their opponents? Well, we have brothers Dan & Jordan, whom might have applied to the show as opposed to being recruited. I figure that's the case because Jordan is a true blue TAR fan that's living the dream of running on the show, and he dragged Dan with him. Unfortunately, Dan can be a bit testy, like with a Chinese cabbie in the last episode. Also, they're mediocre Racers; they didn't place higher than sixth in the first four legs, they finished fifth twice in the three ensuing legs, and their only leg win was aided by a Fast Forward. Granted, climbing from car to car on a 541-foot Ferris wheel took testicular fortitude, but they're basically pond scum, in the sense that they've risen to the top while better teams (narcs Louie & Michael, lesbians Carol & Brandy, father/daughter duo Steve & Allie) got eliminated.

Speaking of pond scum, there's Brent & Caite. As everybody in the free world knows, Caite was a contestant in the Miss Teen USA pageant in 2007, when she garbled an answer to a question about how Americans couldn't locate their country on a world map. Caite's been helbent to prove that she's not stupid. She is, however, annoying, and so is her boyfriend. I'm too lazy to look up specifics, but there was the whole Carol/Brandy thing, where Caite got wind that they had made fun of her, and she and Brent -- whipped into a frenzy by Louie & Michael -- pulled a U-Turn on them. And apparently, Carol & Brandy will confront the team at the finish line in the finale. I'm not a fan of Brent & Caite, to the point where I'm pulling for the lesbians to tackle them. Like Dan & Jordan, they've lucked their way into the finale. They managed to finished higher than sixth once in the first six legs.

This hasn't been the best season of The Amazing Race, to the point where there's been a bit of a backlash against the critically acclaimed show. The remedy for that besides Donald Trump bad-mouthing the program? Jet & Cord need to win. It's that simple. If either of the other teams wins, it's going to be a disappointment. As for me, I'm going to go to TARCon for the fifteenth consecutive season to watch the finale. I'm pretty sure most of the crowd there will agree with me. At least no matter what happens, I'll be meeting some of the past and present teams from the show. I'll have fun no matter what, and I'll try and recap the festivities later this week.

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