Airdate: April 19, 2004
Recap Published: April 27, 2004 (probably because I didn't have an upcoming episode acting as a deadline)
Remember the bad old days, when CT was the guy you loved to hate?
His attitude returns, as he seeks to dump a familiar face into the Inferno.
Previously on The Inferno:
Leah had a massive anxiety attack, and the doctors sidelined her for health
reasons. Road Rules plotted to send Katie into the Inferno by allowing Veronica
to win the Aztec Lifesaver. Sadly, Abram’s safety cord did not break, as he
whooped and yukked it up, showing that he will forever be the Bozeman Bozo. As
a result of RR’s efforts, Real World broke their five-mission losing streak. In
the worst endgame ever devised, Katie beat Julie at jumping rope. Once again:
jumping rope. What should have been a great moment for me was drowned out by
the sheer lameness of the mission. On the other hand, Julie had to take her
buggy eyes and 371 front teeth back to Huntington Beach with her... and really,
isn’t that the best thing that could have happened?
Credits. While I’m thinking about
it, how about Shii Ann’s performance on Survivor: All Stars? Back
against the wall, six vultures ready to feast on her, and she pulls off an
immunity win. Even better, she gives a Katiesque celebration afterwards, since
she was all but voted out. In a way, I’m more impressed with her win than
Katie’s. Don’t get me wrong; I am firmly on the Katie bandwagon until the very
end. But I’ve liked Shii Ann (or Shiiablo, as I like to call her) since her
season, and it hurts me to see her cut down on forums, when there are worse
players still in the game. I know that she has little chance of winning the
million dollars, but as long as she’s there, the show is more interesting. And
if she’s an obnoxious buffoon, then so am I for rooting for her. Ya gotta
Shiilieve!
Night. We’re back at Hooters, as
Leah talks to Coral about how happy she is with CT. We flash back to Real
World Paris, as CT (in his bushy-haired glory) rips into Leah. Hey, there’s
Christina! I don’t remember the scene, but I’m guessing Leah was asking for it,
since she was the uberbitch of that season. Leah continues, saying that the
“mean stuff” from CT hurt the roommates.
Villa. CT tells David that it isn’t
fair for Leah to sit out and collect checks at the end. “We want to get rid of
Leah,” CT interviews. “She’s slowing our team down. She’s dead weight, she
doesn’t even compete in missions. Why should we be splitting with this girl?”
Back to Hooters. I bet this was shot
on Day One. Leah thinks that she and CT have let go of their respective
differences. She interviews, “The small changes that CT and I have made within
ourselves has made a world of difference in our friendship, and it’s great.”
Back to the Villa. CT tells David that the team should have a meeting to lay
everything out. “Unfortunately,” David interviews, “it’s not going to feel
good, and it never will.” CT anticipates Leah thinking that it’s not fair. Back
to Leah: “I’m glad that he’s here, and I’m glad that we’re here together. We’re
on the same team and it’s giving us another opportunity to work together.” The
only thing missing is the word “IRONY” flashing on the screen.
Oh, my goodness. Katie lives! Given
the attitude of the RR girls, I thought they’d pull a Code Red on her while she
slept. But there she is, typing on the computer, as Darrell sits next to her.
He asks about her smoking on the treadmill. She claims that Syrus doesn’t know
how she defeated Julie, and that she feeds off being pissed. “Nobody wanted
Katie to win,” Darrell interviews, “but Katie got a lot of fight in her, and I
think she does better when people are against her.” Katie interviews that the
team realized that maybe she isn’t the weakest player.
Mission site. Dave welcomes the
players to Fallen Angel. Both teams alternate sitting on platforms over the
water. The other team climbs up to pull a release, dunking the competition. Two
people will go into the other. Two people per team will be in the water, but
only one person can climb at a time. If one person falls in the water, the
other can start climbing. The team with the fastest average time wins $10,000
for the bank. Dave announces that Leah has been cleared for this mission,
prompting her and Coral to cheer. Leah interviews that she’s excited to be
back. As RW gets on the platform, CT openly wonders whether if Leah can climb
the rope. He interviews that RW needs a win.
First up: Darrell and Kendal.
Darrell climbs the rope first. Timmy explains that each player must dunk at
least two people. Darrell pulls on the rope, dunking CT. As Kendal climbs up,
Holly says that any duo who can’t complete the mission gets the slowest time,
plus a two minute penalty. Darrell and Kendal dunk the remaining four players,
clocking out at 4:04.
Syrus and Leah take their turn.
Syrus struggles to get up the rope, yanking on the handle with both hands to
sink Veronica. Apparently, some witches don’t die after getting splashed. Good
to know. Leah climbs, standing on Syrus’s shoulders, slowly going up the rope
to dunk Holly. Syrus falls off the rope. On the sidelines, Coral starts getting
cranky. Leah falls off.
Mike interviews that both Syrus and
Leah are having trouble, and it’s “sucking ass.” Leah: “My team has looked at
what I’ve been doing as not enough, which for me personally is everything that
I can be doing.” Leah drops into the water, cursing a storm. “I need to prove
myself, and this is not helping at all.”
Back from commercials, Syrus and
Leah exhaust themselves trying to go up the rope. Coral yells at them to quit,
and they do. Syrus interviews that this is the first disqualification he has received
on any Challenge. What about... how... oh, wow. He’s right. It was a good
streak while it lasted.
Next up: Timmy and Katie. Timmy
manages to dunk David and CT, then holds the rope for Katie as she drops Syrus.
On the sidelines, their teammates cheer them on. Oh sure... NOW they like
Katie. She holds the rope for Timmy, but he falls. RR freezes on the sidelines,
as Timmy goes up then splashes down. But wait! Here comes Katie! Supported by
Timmy, she manages to dump Leah, who claps before splashing down. Christena
interviews that Katie is doing well and she’s making a turnaround. Katie goes
up again, dumps Coral, then yells, “No more sabotaging!” Veronica laughs evilly
on dry land. Timmy ends it by dumping Mike, clocking in at 10:55, prompting a
huge RR celebration.
Timmy interviews that he’s “damn
proud” of Katie. Cut to Veronica rushing Katie and hugging her. It’s a credit
to Katie that she didn’t floor Veronica right then and there. “She dug so
deep,” Timmy continues. “She’s here to win now.”
David shoves a running CT into the
water before making his own running dive. CT needs no rope support to drop
Christena. David follows by dumping Holly. The RW duo drops the others in quick
fashion, finishing at 2:13. Holly and Christena complete the mission with no
trouble, clocking out at 5:33.
Next up: Mike and Coral. Mike starts
climbing before dropping off. Abram is hooting and having fun from his perch.
Syrus: “That [Oedipus Rex] is too strong to be able to do this [bleep].” Coral
climbs and drops. Abram is still braying like a jackass. Mike actually tries to
climb on Coral for support. “Climbing ropes in the water sucks,” Coral
interviews. “When you have a big man on your shoulders drowning you named ‘The
Miz,’ it sucks even worse.” Mike drops, and Coral complains about getting
kicked in the head.
Timmy interviews that RW is good at
nothing, especially this mission. A wide shot reveals two empty perches, which
makes me wonder why those dunks weren’t included. After a few more attempts,
the RW duo packs it in for the DQ. “There’s no strategy,” Coral interviews.
“You can either do it or you can’t do it. I can’t do it.”
Final team: Abram and Veronica.
Abram does a weird sideways flip. The boy annoys me even when diving. Abram
dunks CT. Veronica dunks David. Abram’s Tarzan yells are so obnoxious that Leah
flips the bird before getting dunked. Veronica gets Coral, and Abram gets
Syrus. Mike yells, wondering who will dunk him. Abram goes for the lever and
pulls, but it’s the wrong one. Idiot. Mike laughs, getting a small victory
before Veronica dumps him. Time: 3:14.
Dave announces the results: RW’s
average time is 9:35, while RR comes in at 6:18. Dave awards the $10,000 check
to RR, upping their bank to $90,000, which is more than they had last season
before the final mission. “Yeah!” Abram shouts. “We broke our losing streak!”
If he goes through the remainder of this Challenge without somebody punching
him in the neck, I will be surprised and disappointed. “Lose five in a row, win
one, and then get smoked again?” David groans. “It’s not that much fun.” Dave
sends both teams off to nominate two men into the Inferno.
RR Meeting. “Here’s the problem,”
Timmy quips as he stands next to Darrell. “I want to go to the Inferno, but he
wants to go to the Infuerno.” Heh... I like when somebody acknowledges
Darrell’s mangling of words. Holly interviews that the team doesn’t have any
weak men to send, so they’ll send in the strongest. “We can send anyone in
there from now on and we’ll win,” she continues, “I have no doubt about that.”
And then she winks. Who does that?
RW Meeting. Coral doesn’t rest on
her laurels now that Julie’s gone, as she thinks sending CT and Mike into the
Inferno is a bad idea. She votes for David and Syrus, both of whom take it well
in their interviews. David: “This is gonna be aggravating.” Syrus: “For me, if
I get sent home? At the Inferno? I would have been sent there twice! I will be
pissed off!”
We get a commercial for I Want A
Famous Face. Do you want to know how to get a famous face? Simple: become
famous, and your face will follow. If you get surgery to resemble a celebrity,
you are that much closer to getting killed by a stalker who doesn’t bother with
research.
After commercials, Coral interviews
that neither David nor Syrus have been to the Inferno. David says he’s willing
to step up, even though he doesn’t want to go. Leah votes for Syrus and David.
“If this is what the team wants,” Syrus interviews, “then I’m going.”
Dave announces the nominees: Syrus
and David from RW, Darrell and Timmy from RR. He gives the teams ten minutes to
make their picks.
RW Meeting. Coral and Syrus want no
part of Darrell. Leah: “He’s mentally and physically attuned to things.” The team
decides to go with Timmy. Leah continues, “It’d be the worst mistake ever to
put anyone in with Darrell. There’s no way that anyone’s going to be able to
beat him.” This is coming from his girlfriend, so I’m not sure how valid she is
on this.
RR Meetling. Darrell think it’s a
no-brainer: go with David, whom he considers the weakest player. The others
agree. “Dave will compete,” Darrell interviews, “but when it comes to pain and
mental [bleep], he’ll just give up.” He does put it a lot better than Shane,
who was begging for a beating.
Both teams present the plates. Timmy
accidently breaks David’s plate. Coral turns around a breaks Timmy’s dish. Is
this the Joe Schmoe show? The old-timers hug. “David is a heckuva
competitor,” Timmy interviews. “I don’t care what anyone thinks. It’ll be a
tough challenge going up against him.”
Now it’s time for a different
meeting, as Katie tries to sell herself to her teammates. She knows that she
isn’t the strongest female on the team, but she figures she’s stronger than any
RW woman after beating Julie. I don’t know... I’d put Katie between Coral and
Leah. As Veronica drinks in her evil way, Katie asks for fair play and honesty.
To her credit, Veronica doesn’t spit out her drink and laugh in Katie’s face.
David interviews that RR went about their dumping of Katie in a sneaky way. He
continues, “I think they have a tough time with conflict or saying things to
people’s faces.” Pause for audience laughter. “We’re going to tell the person
before we do it.”
And sure enough, RW has a meeting,
and CT flat-out tells Leah that he wants her in the next Inferno. Needless to
say, she is shocked. He continues, saying that he doesn’t want to risk another
male going home. Leah says that she’s not a stellar athlete, but she’s pissed off
anyway, and she deserves to be in the game. CT responds that she doesn’t
complete missions, and everybody has contributed to the team except her. Mike
interviews that he doesn’t know what’s going on. He continues, “CT is going off
on her, being brutally honest, but being too honest to where it’s hurting.”
Leah asks if the team wants her to help throw the mission in order to send her
in. “If you want to help the team,” CT replies, “this is how we feel you can
contribute to the team.” Ouch. Leah: “Basically, you want me to contribute to
the team by leaving.” After a little back-and-forth, CT says that the team will
go on with or without her help. ”The person that I hated so much for six months
has just resurfaced,” Leah interviews. “I’m looking at this guy that I just
never wanted to see again. It’s all back, and it sucks. My spirits are low,
I’ve got absolutely zero confidence, and I kinda just know that I’m going
home.”
At the RR area, Timmy jokes to the
ladies about the possibility of going home. Holly wants Timmy in the final
mission. “To send home the leader of our team would be disastrous, really,” she
interviews. “I don’t think we can win the final missions without Tim.” I think
they’re still sweet on each other. Veronica offers to win the Aztec Lifesaver
and put herself in Timmy’s place. I hate her. That’s the exact opposite of what
she pulled on Katie last week. I know Veronica isn’t the end-all of evil
queens, but she would sit by the right hand of Omarosa, since she is that evil.
Elsewhere, Leah complains about CT
to David. The elder Bostonian figures that either CT is mad, or he’s still
poking at Leah for stuff that happened in Paris. “CT just wants to win,” David
interviews. “He just gotta be tough like that.” Leah says that the others are
out for themselves, and so is she. She continues that the rules let her stay,
and screw anybody else. “At the end of the day,” she tells David, “if you guys
want me to leave, you’re going to work harder at it. I’m not voluntarily going
to [bleep] myself into the Inferno. I’m not letting you push me out of here.”
Outside, Leah interviews that she expects everybody but Coral to play things in
order to save David. I’m guessing that Coral might see Leah’s elimination as an
automatic Inferno entry, but I bet she could be nominated with a male player.
Leah says that she hopes to stay longer. Cut to CT staring off into the
distance.
I’m torn. At first, I hated CT for
wanting to stoop to RR’s level of play. But I read an interview on MTV.com
where he blasted Leah for pulling the same kind of crap she pulled in Paris, so
now I’m doubting Leah. I guess it’s wrong of me to expect complete 180-degree
turns from any of these people. Sad to say, we’ll have to wait another week to
find how it all shakes out. That’s because MTV is giving us an off week, airing
the first two episodes this Monday. Like any of us needed to relive Julie’s
near-murder of Veronica? Or Katie choking on worms and cornmeal? Or Jeremy
celebrating his brief Inferno win like he won the World Series? Just print out
my recap, and scrawl “evil” next to anything Veronica does. It’ll be like a
fresh recap.
What’s on tap for May 3? More
Mike/Kendal romance, for one. Mike: “I’ve been lied to by many women, but I
feel like I can trust Kendal.” Dave welcomes everybody to game involving
Saturns. CT reminds us that he wants to get rid of Leah, since she’s dead
weight. Inferno coverage. Mike: “So you did lie to me!” Kendal in interview: “I
hate the person that he’s turning into.” Mike: “I haven’t lost it yet. You
haven’t seen lost, sweetheart.” Looks like Mizdal is dead. Hey, Mike? Ever
consider NOT dating people from the show?
Reminder: Punching people in the face was not the only reason I considered CT to be an asshole. Once again: awesome that he's gotten above such stuff and not acted like a total dick in years (unlike a fruit-themed regular cast member who would never leave the series), but the past can never be whitewashed. At least the guy has peaks. I think the one time I rooted for Camila was at the end of Invasion of the Champions, hoping she pulled out the win over Ashley Mitchell, and that was mostly because Nicole (Staten Island girl who represents the borough well, IMHO) had gotten third place. Camila is basically craziness throughout, with a few titles thrown in. CT never assaulted a production member. I know, doesn't make up for punching Davis (Inferno 3) and Adam King (Duel 2), but he never gotten than low.
Once again: next episode, the fecal will totally hit the fan, and it will keep coming for the remainder of the season. And I will suffer through it, blissfully unaware about the debacle that Battle Of The Sexes 2 would turn out to be.
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