Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Road To TARCon

On Sunday, I went into the season finale of Survivor hoping that overachieving dumbass Terry would not win the $1,000,000 grand prize. Three days later? Same thing, different show.

For the ninth time in as many seasons, a few posters from Television Without Pity will be hosting TARCon, a major viewing party for the season finale of The Amazing Race. For the eighth time, I will be going...this time to Stitch, a restaurant on 37th St. in Manhattan. It probably would have been held at the Play by Play at Madison Square Garden, but the Rangers just had to make the playoffs this season...and then they just had to get swept by the Devils in the first round. The location is mostly moot, since most of us want to celebrate the season's end...and root against BJ & Tyler. Let's take a look at the other remaining teams before I go off on those idiots.

Eric & Jeremy

They haven't changed much throughout the season. Sure, they haven't been seen hitting on women left and right, but they remain somewhat annoying. Given that most of the nicer teams have been eliminated, I think my tolerance for them has increased. They have won five legs, which is one short of the record set by Colin & Christie from TAR5. Unlike those two, I don't feel that Eric & Jeremy have really earned most of them. If they win, we'll roll our eyes, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Hell, we'd even forgive the macking on Danielle & Danni, as well as cancelling cabs for two other teams at one point.

Ray & Yolanda

In the commercials for the finale, these two are the "fighting daters." They had some friction in one leg, and suddenly they're on the same level as Joseph & Monica. Maybe the promo people had that much trouble with these two. Compared to the other teams, Ray & Yolanda don't have much of an identity. Yes, they're the Token Black Team. Ray is the somewhat stern guy with hair on his head (as pointed out in an earlier entry), whose sense of humor comes out in spurts. Yolanda is nice to look at, and she has legs that Phil Keoghan crushes on. They're not a consistant or exciting team, having to start off in last place in three legs (with a fourth on Wednesday). It would be nice if they won, but that might be an underwhelming upset at this point.

BJ & Tyler

Why do people like these assholes? They're not hippies. Al Gore is more of a hippie than these two. Dick Cheney is more of a hippie. Just because they wear beards, act kooky and shout nonsensical phrases doesn't make these two hippies. I'm sick of them shouting "T-TOW!" everywhere they go. It's some sort of crap word that's supposed to bring harmony or some sort of crap. Personally, I think it's their special "safety word," if you catch my drift.

The worst part? Most people buy their act. On CBS.com, they have a 64 percent rating in the popularity poll, tops amongst all teams. Of course, like the poll on the Survivor page, it's a pie chart disguised as a bar graph. In this week's TV Guide, one writer suggested them for an all-star edition. This same person also overlooked Team Guido and Oswald & Danny for unfunny gay guys Lynn & Alex, so I'm not taking that opinion seriously. Basically, these guys are to TAR what Rupert Boneham was to Survivor...a bearded novelty act that wears thin over time. Remember what I said last night about not gambling? I will put money on the line that says that either so-called "hippie" will say something along the lines of "What a long strange trip it's been." Print this entry out, circle that last sentence in red ink. I have no inside information, but I know that I'm right.

No matter what the outcome, us TAR fans will have fun tomorrow night. On a happier note, Lynn & Alex will be attending a finale party in Orange, CA...meaning that they won't cover TARCon for Reality Remix. Of course, there's always the chance that somebody like Mark Long might swing by for interviews, but I won't try to strangle him with my bare hands. After all, I don't know where he's been. Otherwise, I'll be comparing professors at Wagner with Danni, trying to outgeek Dave & Lori, and avoiding the more annoying teams. Should be fun!

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