Battle of the Sexes 2 Episode 15: Are We Done Yet?

"Worst season ever."

When we're dissatisfied with a show, we tend to snap into Comic Book Guy Mode. With The Challenge, there are a lot of contenders for that title . . . if there was to be a title. Over the years, I feel there have been a lot of nadirs. Extreme Challenge. Gauntlet 2. The Island. The Ruins. Rivals 3. Final Reckoning. And, of course, Battle of the Sexes 2.

It wasn't just the show. At this point, I was being sniped at by most of the other recappers at Reality News Online. They didn't like my negativity. They disagreed with opinions I took on The Apprentice. One of the writers misinterpreted my comments and called me a misogynist, which really upset me. They didn't like me frequenting the Television Without Pity forums, as they didn't seem to actually visit and see that the average discourse was more civil than most message boards. Snarky, yes, but it wasn't mostly cursing and typos. And while they shit was going on, the sixth season of The Amazing Race had the nicer teams getting eliminated and the nastier pieces of work clinging on. Because of the awesomeness of the prior season and its happy ending (middle-aged couple Chip & Kim winning), karma balanced the tables, and my favorite reality show became a horror movie. And unlike most films of that genre, the "final girl" -- in this case, long-distance dating couple Kris & Jon -- wound up getting a machete to the head at the end, finishing second to the odious Freddy and racist Kendra.

I just feel that I feel to explain the context determining my mood, as I try to recover memories from almost fifteen years ago . . . why I kept being negative. Well, more negative. The final three episodes of Battle Of The Sexes 2 would prove to be one painful kick to the body after another, in the few places that hadn't felt pain yet. And that brings me to Sophia Pasquis.

I never met Sophia in person. I interviewed her twice in 2001 for an article I wrote while I was enrolled as a grad student at New York University (you can read it here ). In retrospect, she probably didn't have to help me out. I think she was interviewed by anyone into reality TV and culture back then, since she was the first openly gay cast member on Road Rules. Before and after those interviews, I had liked her "work" on MTV. She was pretty mellow on Road Rules: The Quest, at least compared to headcases like Adam, Ellen and Jisela. And that mini-Afro was soothing to look at. Not as majestic as Malik from RW: Back to New York, but it was still a nice signature.

Sophia came to Battle of the Sexes 2. I was looking forward to it . .  .two of my favorite females that I had been in touch with from time to time -- Melissa Howard and Sarah Greyson -- had come to The Challenge (Battle of the Sexes and The Gauntlet, respectively), and they made out well. Melissa almost made the finale and got Julie eliminated in the first episode, and Sarah was on the winning Road Rules team after fighting for her survival five times. Surely, Sophia wouldn't be put through the wringer as bad as that, right?

I was wrong. Her team got manhandled in almost every mission. She had a few breakdowns on Elimination Hill. Watching her slowly lose her mind was brutal . . . and the worst was yet to come.

Postscript to the Prologue: War of the Worlds 2 ended as a big mess. On the bright side, I got an article published on Saniac Podcast about how Johnny might be the Typhoid Mary of The Challenge, in the sense that all those would have beaten him in elimination games have not won a title on their own since. Seriously, give it a read. There is a little negativity, but not as much as what you're about to read.

Episode Aired: January 10, 2005
Recap Posted: January 16, 2005

Do you crave depressing moments and the eternally lame triumphing week in and week out? It's more of the same this week.

Previously on Battle of the Sexes 2: There was an argument between Sophia and Coral that we never saw before. Coral felt that she expects so much more from Ruthie, while Sophia didn't want Ruthie to be punished. The guys won Semi-Cross, running their record to 11-2. Theo: "The girls' team is like some little forgotten country that has pretty much all been defeated." Shots of dejected girls, followed by Coral ripping into Robin. Here's my question: what would their national anthem be? I got it down to either "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day, or My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)." On Elimination Hill, Shane was booted by the guys, while the ladies voted out Robin, tearing her from Mark. Yeah, I'm so sure he'll be suffering from that. Coral interviewed that she loved Robin, but she wants the $60,000. Can things get more depressing tonight?

At the Women's Lounge, Ruthie and Sophia shoot the breeze. Ruthie interviews that she thinks about the shadiness on her team. "There's some people that have gone that have good hearts," she adds, "and now I know Sophia's the only one left." That's a helluva endorsement. Sophia tells Ruthie that she's willing to punch out and cuss at people. They laugh.

Outside the Men's Lounge, Eric and Mark play catch. Mark feels that since they're so close to the end, they might as well buddy up. Eric interviews that everybody knows he and Mark would protect each other no matter what. Mark asks who would be in the final three. Eric figures it's a toss-up between Theo and Dan, and that they're both good for certain tasks. "Eric's one of my best friends," Mark interviews, "and it's good to have someone on your side that is a good friend."

Nighttime at the Men's Lounge. Theo answers the sponsor phone, getting the clue. Cut to Brad, walking on his hands. I'm guessing he's all about mocking the exposition, and I can respect that. Over at the Women's Lounge, Sophia reads the clue to Ruthie: "Are you ready for loads of fun?" More details: be ready by 8:30 a.m., and wear tennis shoes. The girls wonder if this mission will require getting naked. Theo thinks that maybe they have to play tennis. Brad interviews that he's getting along with everybody, and it's going to be difficult to vote somebody off.

It's a new day, as the kids get to the mission site. This time, we have cars on platforms and a few dozen luggage bags. Jonny welcomes everybody to today's mission: Car-Go. The objective: lift a car ten feet off the ground. The method: each car is loaded onto a contraption, which is connected to four free weight pulleys. The players must pull the chains to raise the contraption, and the key is for the chains to be pulled at the same time. Before any of that happens, the cars must be loaded with luggage. "Packing is not my forte," Coral interviews. "I tip bellboys to do that kind of [bleep]." Jonny explains that the luggage fits in a certain way, and that the bags cannot be stuffed, crunched, broken, or shoved into other bags. The first team to raise the car wins exercise equipment, worth $2,600 per person. Jonny gives both sides 30 minutes to pick leaders. Since we're so late into the game, there will be two leaders per side. Arissa interviews that it's every person for themselves, and they all what to get the cash.

On the guys' side, Mark asks Dan if he's good at loading. Dan thinks that he is, and Mark pronounces him and Eric to be the leaders. Brad interviews that the leaders were picked without any discussion, adding "that's a little creepy." He goes up to the guys, asking who the leaders are. After some awkward silence and a commercial break, Brad points out that figuring out leaders is more important than putting bags in the car, and that he does not want to get burned in the end. Dan interviews that Brad is nervous, since Eric is on the bottom rung but is leading. Mark wishes that somebody had two disqualifications. Theo thinks that Eric has messed up a little more than the other team members. Mark figured that Eric and Dan were good packers, and Dan adds that he used to pack trucks for a living. Brad notes that he used to work at UPS. Eric says that if the team loses, the leaders would be at risk, but he's willing to chance it. "I know that the only way for me to survive is to be a leader and win," Eric interviews. "There's no other place for me, because I'm number five when it comes to points." Brad interviews that he's alone, but he'll abide by the team decision.

Over on the girls' side, Coral feels it's important to pick leaders. Tina steps up, then adds that she doesn't want Coral or Sophia to lead with her. Coral goes on about how Ruthie wouldn't want to go up against a strong person. Ruthie: "So you're saying I'm not strong?" Coral asks why Ruthie isn't stepping up to be a leader. Ruthie responds that Coral thinks that she would go home with a loss. Coral thinks that Ruthie has done the same things as Tina. Ruthie brings up her struggles with the Sa-Wing mission. Once again, Coral asks why Ruthie isn't stepping up. "Picking leaders is no longer a way of winning a mission," Coral interviews. "It's a way of keeping your ass in the game." Arissa doesn't want to step up, since that's a 99.9 percent chance they'll lose every mission. "Stepping up is pretty much asking to die," she interviews. "I'm not stepping up!"

Coral asks if Ruthie is not stepping up, which Ruthie denies. Ruthie interviews that Arissa is quiet, and that she has a good feeling about the mission. So at long last, Ruthie steps up. Either she's very naive, very optimistic, or Coral has Jedi mind powers that do not translate well on the screen.

Jonny calls up the team leaders. Dan starts organizing the guys. He interviews that Eric will pack the trunk, Brad and Theo will deal with the small bags, and Mark will cram the front seat. Tina wants to stick the bags in vertically, which Ruthie interviews is a waste of space. Turns out Ruthie wants to stack the bags horizontally. Tina isn't comfortable with Ruthie's plan and feels it isn't fully thought out, but she goes along with it.

Jonny blows his air horn to get the mission started. Both sides stuff the cars with bags. It's not boring, but it's not exactly action-packed. The guys finish packing their car first. Theo supervises the lifting while the others pull the chains. The ladies join in, as Arissa oversees their efforts. "I'm determined to win," she voiceovers, "not only because of the prize, but because of my pride. I can't stomach another loss. The girls gotta step it up." Both sides pull. Eric yells about something we didn't know about; namely, the bottle that is attached to the contraption. Once the bottle leaves the ground, the car has offically gone ten feet. We get a shot of the bottle lifting up. Jonny blows his air horn. Guess what? The guys won. Again.

This is not the worst season ever. That distinction goes to Extreme Challenge and The Inferno. However, this is the most depressing season ever. And what lessons have we learned every week? First of all, I know enough not to make judgments on the genders based on this show. I know that if I were to gather eighteen guys and eighteen gals to compete, the results would probably vary from what we've gotten. Secondly? "Battle of the Sexes" does not work… not for Challenge, not for Survivor, not for The Apprentice, not for any reality show. I don't even watch American Idol, but I know you fans are gonna be upset within the next month over the semi-final format. The women just never seem to come off well with this format, and I'm sick of typing "guys win" damn near every week. We now go back to your regularly scheduled recap.

The girls try to dissect where things went wrong. Arissa notes that the guys got their car up quickly. Coral feels it came down to the packing of the last bag. Tina says she felt better with her plan. Ruthie thinks she didn't have a bad plan, and she's pissed off that Tina is placing the blame. She also interviews that Tina can go procreate in isolation, if you know what I mean. Sophia is hoping that Tina was just explaining what had happened. "But it was more for blaming," she adds. "I don't think that's cool."

Jonny wraps things up, awarding the exercise equipment to the guys. Today's voting: Dan and Eric pick off a guy, Ruthie and Tina are vulnerable. Sophia interviews that she will act as Ruthie's lawyer in order to convince the others to let her stay. Jonny gives both sides one hour to deliberate.

At the Main Lounge, those not in the Inner Circles sweat out their fate. Mark feels he would go home if the guys don't like his overall performance. Theo states the obvious: that Mark is lucky to be buddies with Eric, and Eric is on the bottom of the totem pole. Brad reminds everybody that the teams had 30 minutes to pick leaders, and the guys did it in five seconds. He interviews that he should have stepped up to prevent Eric from leading. Mark asks how Arissa dodged being a leader. I'd like to know that as well. Ruthie interviews that it's obvious that Arissa should be going home for a long time. Tina feels that she would be ready to pack if she was next to Coral or Sophia, and she's confident being next to Ruthie or Arissa. Ruthie: "That's because I don't [bleepin'] toot my horn about every [bleepin'] mission." Tina: "I'm sick of waiting around, waiting for this so-called huge character Ruthie to come out and to dominate the game. She hasn't done such at all. She hasn't delivered at all." Sad but true. Back in BOTS1, Ruthie was on top of the leaderboard after all but two missions. Maybe she's just an individual star, and not a huge team player. In a way, it breaks my heart.

Men's Lounge, Boys' Inner Circle. Eric asks Dan if one guy steps up more than the others. Dan interviews that this is a rough decision, since the remaining men are strong. He thinks that Theo sometimes gets "too heated" in missions, and he brings up Mark's loss in Bombs Away. Eric notes that Dan, Mark and Theo have been in the final mission in past Challenges.

Women's Lounge, Girls' Inner Circle. Sophia is acting as Ruthie's defense counselor, and the prosecution is hammering her. Coral thinks Sophia and Ruthie want to be together in the final three, and if Tina goes home, Arissa will follow. Sure, but you'd be safe, right? Sophia rebuffs the accusation. Coral thinks that if Sophia had to choose between and Ruthie, she would be gone. That, and some of my Coral-hating friends would treat Sophia like a queen for the rest of her life. Coral interviews that it's not smart to keep two best friends. She tells Sophia that keeping Ruthie jeopardizes her or Arissa. Arissa butts in, saying it just jeopardizes her. Coral does not want to be at the mercy of best friends. "They see these friendships as a hindrance," Sophia interviews, "but they'd better think about who they're voting off and who they left to make it a strong team." Coral asks Arissa whether she can trust her and Tina, or Sophia and Ruthie. Everybody just stares quietly.

We go to Elimination Hill. Dan and Eric step forward to make the announcement for the fellas. Dan claims that it was a difficult decision, and that they had to make a logical choice. All three guys actually look stressed. Our unlucky loser? It's Brad, and unlike the last several dismissed players, he does not look happy. He steps forward, telling his team that he went through the emotional roller coaster already, and he's just spent. Eric insists it wasn't personal, adding, "We love you as a person, dude." Go play with your jump rope, Eric. Brad interviews that he was so close to the big prize, and could taste it. I feel you, man. I had Brad, Dan and Theo being on the final team. Now, I might be lucky to have one person there by the end of next week.

Coral steps up for the women's side, and goes into her spiel when… oh, no. Oh, no no no no. Don't walk forward, Sophia! Don't nudge Coral out of the way! I swear, she was so normal on The Quest, at least when compared to her fellow cast members. This show is slowly driving her out of her mind. Anyway, Sophia says this is the hardest thing for her to do, and that she fought for this person. She's so sad, she can't even say Ruthie's name. The others clap as the friends hug. Ruthie admits that this wasn't her game. Sophia: "It was your game, it just wasn't your circumstance." Ruthie goes on about hoping the people who deserve to be on the final team stay on to make up for the losses. "I decided to play it fair," she interviews, "and unfortunately, it cost me my spot. I don't ever want to sell my soul for money."

Brad walks with Dan, still not getting why he's going home. Ever the good cop, Dan says that he and Eric looked to see who had standout missions. Cut to the Lounge, where Mark and Eric hang out. "You're not really playing an honest game," Eric interviews. "Although everybody says that they are, am I going to feel bad? No. Why should I have a difficult time sending somebody else home? It's the nature of the game." And needless to say, the nature of this game sucks raw eggs. Seriously, at least Norman carried himself with some dignity in The Gauntlet. You take away Eric's time on RW, and he's just a sad man with a jump rope.

Elsewhere, Coral hugs Brad, trying to comfort him. Not exactly the "Mother Hen" moments like with Sarah and Leah, but I can take what I can get. He tells her that he still can't believe she's out, and that he should have fought for the leader role. "I wanted to feel like it was my time to go," he interviews, "but certain people that are still here that aren't supposed to be here, that's the only thing that bothers me walking away from this game. This was my game. I should have made it to the end." Poor guy. He's rumored to be doing the next Challenge even as you read this. Here's hoping he plays the game with honor and gets his just reward.

Theo escorts Brad to the van. "He was a great competitor and he's unbelievable," Theo interviews. "Eric doesn't deserve to be here, and it's time for him to bow out gracefully." I've had issues with Theo throughout this season, but we're on the same wavelength. Of course, that probably means that Theo will be out on his butt next week, and Eric would win $60,000. Have I mentioned how much I hate this season? Elsewhere, Ruthie and Sophia share one last hug. Sophia interviews that she doesn't know this game will end, but she knows that she must perform well in the next mission. "Right now," she adds, "I only have my back."

Next time: Mark and Eric feel that Dan and Theo deserve a spot in the final three. Eric: "It's all about strategy. It's all about positioning." Arissa has trouble with walking on a beam jutting off a roof. Two guys fall off. Why do I feel like next week will be a lot worse than today?

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhh*

In terms of diminishing returns, Ruthie's Challenge "career" could be considered tragic. Yes, people will point out her drunken misadventures on Real World: Hawaii, and that isn't easy to paint over, even when most of her roommates were mentally skewed in their own individual ways. While she did let Emily call her shots in the Inner Circle during Battle of the Sexes, Ruthie was the most consistent performer, leading the rest of the women after all but two missions.

She would come back in Gauntlet 2, and earned herself the position of becoming the female Captain of the Veterans team. But then she had to face a bad person (Beth), and that person got to choose the worst possible game for Ruthie (Reverse Tug-Of-War). Needless to say, Ruthie was bounced from the game in an even more inglorious fashion than in BOTS2. 

Ruthie's final season was Duel II. She lasted five missions before being bounced by Kimberly from RW: Hollywood. On the plus side, Ruthie seems to be doing good with her life. I saw her at Caroline's in Manhattan a few months ago. She really rocked the shorter hair. When asked if she would return, Ruthie figured that she wasn't in the type of shape that The Challenge demands these days, but she ended her response with a "never say never."

Brad's "career" was more checkered, as he would eventually become the poster boy for Challengers who couldn't get that first win. Inferno II saw him pressed into a battle with Abram that ended with his defeat. Oh, and that same episode started with Brad getting an epic wedgie from Mike. Gauntlet 2 had Brad verbally squaring off with Derrick in one episode. While they eventually made up, they were eventually pitted against each other in the Gauntlet, with Derrick coming away the winner. To keep thing short, here's the rest of his run:

• The Duel: lost to CT in the final Duel, but wound up advancing to the finale when CT pulled a carabiner even after host TJ Lavin told them not to do that, like, fifty times. Brad would up losing the final mission to Wes. 
• Gauntlet III: He was the only male on the Veterans team that I could respect, since most of them were in "Trim The Fat" mode, constantly trying to lose the female teammates that could weigh them down in the final mission. They would eventually win that season . . . but since they had to dump a dying Eric Banks (a guy full of actual fat that the Veterans didn't want to face in the Gauntlet), the Rookies would up with the victory.
• Duel II: Brad wound up the final two Duels, winning both . . . including an upset over Greatest Of All Time (GOAT) short-list candidate Landon. He would lose to Evan in the final mission, extending his woeful streak.
• The Ruins: I blocked out most of this horrible season. All I remember in regard to Brad is that he wound up punching Darrell. He responded with about fifty shots to Brad's face, giving him a black eye. If Darrell has a "man cave" away from his wife and children, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a large picture of Brad with that black eye. Oh, and both were ejected from the game.

Brad finally got over the hump in Cutthroat, as he won with the Red team . . . a foursome that included his wife Tori Hall. And then things went south again . . .  they got divorced, Brad returned in Vendettas and Final Reckoning, falling short both times. He also got into a showmance with Britni from Are You The One? Thanks to the age difference, I wound up making a LOT of "windowless van circling the high school" jokes. I know, real cheap, but Brad had long soured in my eyes. On the bright side, the recent actions of Stephen Bear gave me a new target for those jokes.

 

Next recap: even more depressing stuff. In the meantime, have a happy (and safe) holiday season.