Monday, March 13, 2006

Gauntlet 2, Episode 14: Television With Pit

Previously on Gauntlet 2: Alton and Jodi got a lot closer to each other. Alton reminded us that he was coming off a relationship with Irulan. The Rookies won Easy Does It, bringing their bank to $70,000. And thanks to Beth’s lack of guts, Aneesa became the new team captain for the Veterans.

Same bar fun, different place. We’re at the Tobago Island Suites this time, as we see Randy and Kina, Mark and Robin, and Alton and Jodi. Alton interviews that he and Jodi gravitate towards each other. Shot of the pair dancing. He talks about how she’s an awesome person, and that he’s building a friendship and relationship that will last past this Challenge. Yeah, good luck with that. Jillian interviews that the duo enjoys each other’s company, and she think that’s great, since they’ve gotten out of difficult break-ups. She adds that she’s okay with the relationship as long as it doesn’t affect the team.

Night turns to day. Jodi tells Ibis and Kina that she could see herself feeling things for Alton, which is unusual for her. Ibis raises the possibility that it hasn’t been long enough for Alton to move on. Jodi doesn’t to be a “transition girl.” “I worry about Jodi,” Kina interviews, “because she has a tendency to look for love in all the wrong places. I think that she just wants to have a good relationship with a good guy, and that’s really hard to find in these situations.” Kina tells Jodi to be cautious and honest.

Sunset. Night. Clue time. Ibis reads off the phone: “Good luck getting yourself out of this situation. It’s definitely going to be the pits.” Jodi thinks they’ll have to get out of a pit. Can’t get anything past her, right? She interviews that a male Gauntlet is coming, and she wouldn’t want Alton to leave because she’s getting to know him.

New day. Alton stretches. Jamie has breakfast standing up while shirtless. He interviews that he wants a win to ease his mind. Brad says that he’s focused on the win. “I’m not trying to think about who might be going in if we don’t win,” he interviews. “I’m thinking win, and that’s the only option.” Alton tells Derrick that he thinks the Rookies will win. Derrick tells us that he’s not worried who he would face, since he’s been to the Gauntlet before. Alton and Derrick chat some more, then share a dorky handshake. Is it wrong that I found it very cute? Alton interviews that a lot of pressure is on him. “I’ve never felt so nervous,” he laughs. “It’s just a game, but I feel like this is like my life or something.”

Mission site. TJ welcomes the players to the Angostura Mangroves for today’s mission: The Pit. Shot of three walls with assorted stuff on the ground. The teams will start at the bottom of the pit, and they will use the “tools” to get up and over the pit. The team that gets itself and the supplies the fastest wins $10,000. Julie expositions that each team will have thirty minutes to get out, and that the team with the most players out wins, with the time being the tiebreaker. Aneesa adds that once a person is out of the pit, they can’t go back in under threat of disqualification. TJ notes that only one team at a time competes, while the other side gets sequestered. Timmy interviews that it wouldn’t be fair for one team to see the other work, adding, “So this gives TJ the chance to use the word ‘sequestered’.” I hope you had a good laugh, because that’s going to be Timmy’s high point of the episode. TJ adds that the Rookies have the sit a male player out, and that guy is exempt from the Gauntlet. The winning male captain gets a DJ package.

While the Veterans go off to the Sequester Zone, Landon figures that they have to sit out the heaviest guy, which is either Randy or MJ. Alton notes that Randy is ten pounds heavier, so “Big Rand” gets to sit out another mission. Jamie informs us that he, MJ and Landon are on the line, and the Rookies have to win.

TJ blows the airhorn to get the mission underway. Ibis points out the pantyhose and duct tape to us, which goes along with the noodles and the inflated yoga balls. MJ interviews that the strategy is to get Alton up first, and they will figure things out as they go. Susie adds that the guys will use their bodies as human ladders. Sure enough, the guys stack themselves in a corner, pulling girls up to the top. At the 21:40 mark, they succeed in getting five out of nine players out. Jamie gets pulled up using the pantyhose. Time elapsed: 17:32. Players out: eight. MJ interviews that they’re doing a good job, and this will be huge for them. Landon waits on the bottom, the last player to go up.

Sequester Zone. Julie tells the team that they need to figure out their abilities, since some people can’t climb as well. She interviews that they have the advantage of getting thirty minutes to strategize.

Back at the Pit, we have 11:40 to go. Landon tries to crawl up the edge, only to fall down. While Randy and the female teammates wait on the ground, the guys are on top, trying to help Landon. He tries to climb up using the hose, but that snaps. Noodles duct-taped together? Breaks apart. Time remaining: 7:30. Alton wonders if he can be lowered down, asking, “Landon, can you climb up me?” Landon: “I can climb up you.” My mind goes to a bad, bad place. Alton interviews that he was to dangle himself out. “It’s my butt on the line,” he adds. “Who else is gonna do it?” Alton puts himself out over the edge with 7:00 left, while Kina gasps on the ground. She interviews that it’s incredible and nerve-wracking to watch him, and that if he falls, the team will lose. MJ and Jamie grab Alton’s wrists. Fade to a shot of Alton’s foot. Kina covers her mouth.

After commercials, we see the Veterans come out of the Sequester Zone. Mark tells us that they have to pass the Rookies, and they have no idea how their opponents performed. Jamie gives a small “How’s it goin’?” head motion that cracks me up. Derrick thinks the Rookies didn’t get all of their players out.

Veterans’ turn. Robin interviews that they’ll be using cheerleading techniques. Brad gets boosted out, and he pulls up Mark. With 27:09 remaining, the team has six players out. Timmy stands at the bottom, wondering how he and the remaining players will get out. Derrick gets lifted away, leaving only Timmy behind.

Timmy tries to crawl up the corner, while the teammates hold a noodle from above. He can’t reach at first, then his hand slips off the noodle. Derrick cringes on the sidelines. Robin suggests a human ladder. Mark gets ready to lower himself down, as Robin and Brad remind him that he would be out if he falls in. Time remaining: 12:05. Mark ends up merely leaning in with support from his teammates, holding noodles taped together. An increasingly cranky Timmy grabs the noodle but it breaks apart, sending him falling to the ground.

TJ gives the Veterans one more minute. Timmy suggests making a rope out of the pantyhose, while he tapes a yoga ball to his feet. Of course, this doesn’t happen that well with 0:30 remaining. Aneesa interviews that it sucks to see Timmy like this, as we see him slip on the ball. All Derrick can do is put his head down, as Timmy throws the ball against the wall, only to have it smack him in the face. Time expires. Derrick thinks the other team didn’t get all of their players out.

TJ goes over the results with both teams. The Veterans had eight players out in under six minutes. Jillian looks rather shocked. The Rookies had their last player up – as well as all of their equipment – in 25:29...and that gives them the win. Cue the huge celebration, as the Veterans look on glumly. We flash back to the Rookies’ technique: Landon crawls up the wall, while the team holds on to Alton. Landon grabs Alton’s legs, and Jamie pulls him up to finish the mission. Cut to Alton hugging Susie. Jodi interviews that it doesn’t get any better than this because she didn’t want Alton to go. TJ gives Alton the $10,000 and the DJ prize package, then he reminds Derrick that his butt will be in the Gauntlet, and that will even out the guys. Wait, I thought they were already even. Derrick tells us that every guy on his team is a tough choice. “I saw weaknesses in Timmy,” he adds. “He couldn’t balance, he couldn’t hold his own weight.”

Veterans’ Gauntlet Deliberation. Derrick tells the team that they’ve gotten close, but they’re not kids and they’re playing for money. He asks them to make the right decision. The team votes. Aneesa interviews that it’s between Brad, Timmy and David, and that it’s hard to pick somebody with the team being this solid. Derrick reads the results to himself and softly curses. Cut to Timmy looking anxious, while Derrick walks away.

After commercials, TJ asks for the result. Derrick tells him that it’s Brad. Why didn’t I see this coming? Brad shakes his head a little, knowing that he’s getting screwed yet again. David tells us that he voted for Brad because he didn’t want to vote for Timmy. It looks like the older guys are clearly in an alliance, and Brad paid the price. Seriously, if Ace and Syrus were held accountable for their failures in missions, why not Timmy? Or how about David, who needed to be bailed out of two trips to the Inferno? Anyway...TJ spins the wheel, and guess what? Captain’s Choice. Again. Derrick picks Name That Coconut, then tells Brad that he didn’t want to do it like that. My guess: he wanted Beach Brawl and a keg of beer for each guy. That would have been awesome. Brad is okay with this, and he gives a quick man-hug. “Brad is one of the boys,” Derrick interviews, “but I’m not looking at him like one of my good friends right now. I’m looking at him as an opponent.” Brad interviews that he wants to stay until the end, and he’ll give his all in the Gauntlet. He adds that Derrick has done good, but he hasn’t gone against anybody like the remaining players.

Gauntlet. TJ welcomes everybody before summoning Derrick. Derrick announces that the team pick Brad, and he comes down. TJ goes over the rules to Name That Coconut. Winner stays, loser goes home. Cue another man-hug. Timmy interviews that this will be a great Gauntlet becuase he has no idea who will win.

First question: “On The Inferno II, this cast member caused a huge fight between Robin and Tonya over Mark.” TJ rings the bells, and the fellas grapple for the coconuts. Derrick gets over Brad, messing with his taller adversary. Derrick flips a coconut out and brings it in. Turns out that Beth is the correct answer. Cut to the ex-captain stirring the poo with Robin. Man, every time we want her out, she gets back in. Derrick leads, 1-0.

Next question: “Who was almost fired from her job in Boston?” Both guys run out. Susie interviews that she loves Brad and she doesn’t want to see him leave, so she’s rooting for the underdog. Derrick grabs a coconut and plows through Brad over the safety zone line. Montana is correct...cut to Anthony from the children’s center canning her. How is that “almost fired”? Also, Montana looks a lot worse in that clip that she does these days. Derrick is up, 2-0.

Third question: “On The Real World: San Diego, who was unable to get into a club because they tried to use a fake ID?” Brad shoves Derrick to the side as they run, and he’s the first to the coconuts. Aneesa interviews that Derrick has fought to be here, and he deserves to be in the game because he’s been in a crappy position. Derrick grabs a coconut while Brad continues to look. Derrick’s guess of Robin is incorrect. Robin sticks her tongue out and does a dorky dance. Brad flings his coconut to TJ, and Cameran is correct. Cut to her getting shut out of the club. Derrick leads, 2-1.

“During the first season of The Inferno, who smoked a cigarette while competing in an Inferno?” Derrick interviews about how Name That Coconut isn’t about trivia. In his mind, it’s a fight, and it comes down to who wants it more. Both guys grapple. Brad grabs a coconut, but Derrick knocks it away and snatches it over the line. “Katie” is correct. Cut to her on the treadmill, lighting one up during Scratchaton. The fact that she could do that just shows how bad the endgames were back then. Derrick takes a 3-1 lead.

“Who knocked out Mary-Beth in a face-off challenge on Road Rules?” Derrick takes the lead. Brad looks through the coconuts. Derrick grabs an answer and runs, but Brad wrestles him down. Derrick does get across the line with the correct answer: Jillian. Cut to her punching out Mary-Beth. Remember how they were both hot for Patrick? What was that about? Derrick is up, 4-1, one win away for staying in the game.

“Who had to go skinny-dipping after losing a bet on The Inferno II?” Brad interviews that he is not giving up, and he will give it everything he has. Grappling. Brad gets a coconut across, and it’s the right answer: Jodi. Cut to her diving into the pool naked. There’s Mike holding out the towel like the tool that he is. Derrick still leads, 4-2.

“Who was sent home after losing a bull-riding competition on the first season of The Gauntlet?” Both guys stand around and look for the answer. Derrick grabs a coconut and plows through Brad. The correct answer? Montana. Cut to her putting both hands on the mechanical bull and getting disqualified. How much do you want to bet that her boyfriend screaming “WHOOOOORE!” at her will come up by the end of the season? Anyway, the game is over, Derrick wins his fourth Gauntlet, and Brad gets ejected for the third straight season. “I’m just fortunate that I’m still here,” Derrick interviews. “I just hope I gain respect from my team now, you know?”

TJ congratulates Derrick, calling him “a true champion.” I’d say he has the lead over Alton based on strength of opponents. TJ is bummed that Brad has to go, and the meathead actually man-hugs the host. Brad interviews that he doesn’t know why he gets booted from Challenges. He adds that he gives it his all, and he really wanted to win. So did I.

Full moon shot. Brad packs up, telling us that he didn’t see his loss coming. Julie interviews that the team is losing somebody who could have been helpful down the road. The team looks hurt, and Robin is sitting on Mark’s lap. Would you two idiots make up your minds? Julie: “It’s a terrible, terrible day.” I know that it’s not like Brad is gone forever. Heck, he’s even started his own thing in the “real world.” I just hate to see him getting boned for the third season in a row. He gives out some hugs before getting into the waiting car. Derrick interviews that it’s hard to lose a team player. The car rides off, the team call out for Brad, and Derrick looks sad.

Tobago Island Suites. Alton tells Jodi that he’s not sure where they are in their respective relationships, and that has nothing to do with their relationship. Jodi asks if she is his “transition,” then admits that she didn’t want to say that. Alton: “I would have to say, to a certain degree, like...I almost have to say, of course.” Smooth move there. He interviews that all he wants is a friendship. I’ll just tack on “benefits” to that package. “I think she’s going to be an awesome friend once we get back into the States,” he adds, “but that’s pretty much all I see.” He tells her that he’s single and free. She asks what he’s feeling. Alton says that they’re hanging out and getting to know each other, and repeats to her that they will have a friendship away from the island. Jodi interviews that she’s not expecting anything, since Alton has stuff to work out when he gets home. She tells him that they’ll be friends, and she tells us that she can’t let herself be attracted to him. More banter. The word “weirdo” is spelled “wierdo” by the crack BMP writers. Big fat whatever.

Next time: We have Blind Trust, where players walk blindfolded down a narrow path over water, while a teammate guides them. Also, Kina has a nervous breakdown.


Anonymous said...

Kina really is a psycho bitch... I really hope that she gets called out at the reunion show, and that someone also puts her fat, underacheiving best friend in her place as well. Cara and Susie were treated like shit because they were friends, and yet Kina refuses to put the team's weakest player into the Guantlet, because it's her best friend!?!?! Once again, the wrong person lost last night. Remember when Kina described Cara as "selfish...only caring about herself and not the team..." Does this stupid cunt really listen to the garbage that comes out of her mouth. Surprisingly, Kina has become the new Julie... I guess Julie 'tude change can be attributed to no Verantula, Butterface or Quarrel...

Anonymous said...

Also forgot, we FINALLY got to see a new Gauntlet, and Christ was it boring... it was so similar to "Name that Coconut" and "Beach Brawl". I still say that the Gauntlet 1 and Inferno 2 had the best endgames... this season's are bad, but not as bad and boring as Inferno 1... close, but not as bad.