A redheaded acupuncturist. A lesbian with weird hair. A Mormon with psychological probems. A one-time jailbird. A tiny terror who dated “Jonny Fairplay.” A Hawaiian who can hold her liquor. The first person voted off a BMP show. A total phony. With the women of the Veteran’s team, who needs Tina, Tonya, Rachel or Veronica?
Aneesa Ferreria (The Real World: Chicago)
Challenges: 2
Challenges Completed: 0
Missions: 16
Notes: With all the snake-bit players entering the latest Challenge, Aneesa might get lost in the shuffle. At least she’s gotten away from the Battle of the Sexes format. Now if she goes home, it’ll happen because she lost in the Gauntlet ... One major advantage: no Ayanna. Both times she’s done the Challenge, Aneesa had run-ins with Ayanna. While their altercation in BOTS1 wasn’t shown, the dust-up in BOTS2 avoided the cutting room floor. Remember this? “My ass is getting stronger! Would you like to kick it some more? Here it is!” Not good times for Aneesa ... Speaking of things sucking for Aneesa, her birthday is September 11. Thanks to MTV, she probably gets a lot of cards. Other people in her boat: Moby, Brian DePalma, Tom Landry and Leopold “Butters” Stotch of South Park, CO ... After peeking through cast photos, I was taken aback with her hair. Last time, she had a weave, probably given up her scraggly afro after losing a coin toss to Sophia. But now, she has this wide Mohawk going on. It’s not that attractive.
Beth Stolarczyk (RW: Los Angeles)
Challenges: 3
Challenges Completed: 1
Challenges Won: 0
Missions: 12
Notes: Who likes her? The only people I can think of are the Hollywood phonies she pals around with, and the recapper who supported her after Tonya dunked her luggage into the pool. Not the best fans one can have ... I saw a commercial where she droned on and on about a teammate not bringing anything to the table. I can imagine her going to a friend’s birthday party with no card or present, saying that her presence is more than enough of a gift ... She did have that one moment of niceness after former housemate Jon got sent packing in Inferno II. But after stirring up trouble and getting her bags soaked, she turned tail and ran. If it were anybody else, BMP wouldn’t have invited that person back. But since Beth is that detestable, and Rachel and Veronica are doing their own show, we’re stuck with her.
Jisela Delgado (Road Rules: The Quest)
Challenges: 2
Challenges Completed: 0
Missions: 8
Notes: Finally! I heard her name come up in the last few seasons, but she never showed up. I have this mental image of her working out in a basement, grunting, “Not! Strong! Enough!” as he does her thousandth pull-up ... Does time heal all wounds? Jisela was a scrub on The Quest, becoming the first person ever voted off the show. Her lack of skills took herself and Adam out of Battle of the Seasons, and she sank to the bottom of the leaderboard in Battle of the Sexes. Interesting note: she only did four missions in each season ... I don’t think she will have calmed down that much. I think she’s the only player in Challenge history to contemplate killing the host on camera. But I think that we’re officially past the time she became Malik’s girlfriend, then proceeded to make out with lots of other people, prompting Coral to camera-bitch, “Get off the ho train, cuz you’re the only one on it!” If you factor in Trishelle, Mark, and the threesome in Telluride, Jisela’s antics are rated PG at worst ... This time, she’ll have a shot to redeem herself. The record for RR castoffs in endgames is 8-1.
Julie Stoffer (RW: New Orleans)
Challenges: 4
Challenges Completed: 1
Challenges Won: 1
Missions: 40
Notes: It never gets old. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, and Julie tries to convince people she’s not a horrible person ... Honestly, I can’t think of a bigger headcase than Julie. Even if the stuff about her sabotaging Melissa’s lecturing aren’t true, you still got her brattiness, her going to God in hysterical moments (see also: Weaver, Linda), and the fact that she urinated on Coral’s bed on purpose ... I will give her this: both of her endgame loses were lame. The first time, she had to walk on a treadmill for three hours, and then she messed up jumping rope against Katie. The second time, she tore off one fewer patch than Tonya ... I hope she goes out like a punk. With somebody like Beth, it’s not as much fun, since Beth doesn’t do much except take away oxygen others might need. But Julie is the Terrell Owens of the Challenge; fierce, competitive, yet selfish and temperamental.
Katie Doyle (RR: The Quest)
Challenges: 3
Challenges Completed: 1
Challenges Won: 1
Missions: 28
Notes: I’ve gone up and down with Katie. First, I was bored by her during The Quest. Then I rolled my eyes as she fought Veronica in The Gauntlet and fumed when I read that she berated Steve for several hours for no apparent reason. Then after she got abused by her teammates in Inferno and stayed on to piss them off, I cheered her. Now she’s back, slated to do the next Challenge, and she came on Kill Reality to mess with Tonya’s head. That’s like walking up to a ten car pileup and setting it on fire. Right now, I’m hoping she goes out early ... Interesting note: all three of her endgame victims are not only on this Challenge, they’re on the same team ... Speaking of the endgames, Katie’s main talent is outlast the opposition. She grabbed onto a mechanical bull and let Montana get disqualified, jumped rope better than Julie, and held her breathe in foul stuff longer than David. She did lose a Gauntlet to Rachel, but that was Hangman, and Rachel has long arms.
Montant McGlynn (RW: Boston)
Challenges: 2
Challenges Completed: 1
Challenges Won: 0
Missions: 7
Notes: Has it been seven years since the incident with the wine and “WHOOOOOOOORE!”? Lucky for her that only the most hardcore viewers remember her worst days ... I don’t know why she’s back. I’m thinking they needed a “normal” girl to go along with Jo ... Her MTV.com bio reveals that she not only has a master’s degree in acupuncture, but also volunteers with the terminally ill. How can I root against her now?
Robin Hibbard (RW: San Diego)
Challenges: 2
Challenges Completed: 0
Missions: 17
Notes: Not much to say about Robin. She has the potential, but she’s yet to fulfil most of it. She did get thrown under the bus by Coral in BOTS2, but she earned her boot in losing an Inferno to Tina ... I don’t know if she and Mark are still a couple. I would hope not, for her sake.
Ruthie Alcaide (RW: Hawaii)
Challenges: 2
Challenges Completed: 1
Challenges Won: 0
Missions: 30
Notes: Ruthie manages to keep things interesting, from her drunken antics in Hawaii to her mission domiance in BOTS. Sadly, she was a shade of her old self in BOTS2 and got voted off the women’s team ... I don’t know how sober she is. Colin posted a rambling narrative about “Magic Brownies,” which mentioned a “Brown Girl.” It would also explain the BOTS2 bio, where she was connected with Las Vegas slimebag Steven Hill, even though she doesn’t swing that way ... I predict she’ll win any Gauntlet. She’s tough, focused, and I can’t imagine any of her female teammates getting the better of her. Heck, she could take out Ace and David without breaking a sweat.
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