"Worst season ever."
When we're dissatisfied with a show, we tend to snap into Comic Book Guy Mode. With The Challenge, there are a lot of contenders for that title . . . if there was to be a title. Over the years, I feel there have been a lot of nadirs. Extreme Challenge. Gauntlet 2. The Island. The Ruins. Rivals 3. Final Reckoning. And, of course, Battle of the Sexes 2.
It wasn't just the show. At this point, I was being sniped at by most of the other recappers at Reality News Online. They didn't like my negativity. They disagreed with opinions I took on The Apprentice. One of the writers misinterpreted my comments and called me a misogynist, which really upset me. They didn't like me frequenting the Television Without Pity forums, as they didn't seem to actually visit and see that the average discourse was more civil than most message boards. Snarky, yes, but it wasn't mostly cursing and typos. And while they shit was going on, the sixth season of The Amazing Race had the nicer teams getting eliminated and the nastier pieces of work clinging on. Because of the awesomeness of the prior season and its happy ending (middle-aged couple Chip & Kim winning), karma balanced the tables, and my favorite reality show became a horror movie. And unlike most films of that genre, the "final girl" -- in this case, long-distance dating couple Kris & Jon -- wound up getting a machete to the head at the end, finishing second to the odious Freddy and racist Kendra.
I just feel that I feel to explain the context determining my mood, as I try to recover memories from almost fifteen years ago . . . why I kept being negative. Well, more negative. The final three episodes of Battle Of The Sexes 2 would prove to be one painful kick to the body after another, in the few places that hadn't felt pain yet. And that brings me to Sophia Pasquis.
I never met Sophia in person. I interviewed her twice in 2001 for an article I wrote while I was enrolled as a grad student at New York University (you can read it here ). In retrospect, she probably didn't have to help me out. I think she was interviewed by anyone into reality TV and culture back then, since she was the first openly gay cast member on Road Rules. Before and after those interviews, I had liked her "work" on MTV. She was pretty mellow on Road Rules: The Quest, at least compared to headcases like Adam, Ellen and Jisela. And that mini-Afro was soothing to look at. Not as majestic as Malik from RW: Back to New York, but it was still a nice signature.
Sophia came to Battle of the Sexes 2. I was looking forward to it . . .two of my favorite females that I had been in touch with from time to time -- Melissa Howard and Sarah Greyson -- had come to The Challenge (Battle of the Sexes and The Gauntlet, respectively), and they made out well. Melissa almost made the finale and got Julie eliminated in the first episode, and Sarah was on the winning Road Rules team after fighting for her survival five times. Surely, Sophia wouldn't be put through the wringer as bad as that, right?
I was wrong. Her team got manhandled in almost every mission. She had a few breakdowns on Elimination Hill. Watching her slowly lose her mind was brutal . . . and the worst was yet to come.
Postscript to the Prologue: War of the Worlds 2 ended as a big mess. On the bright side, I got an article published on Saniac Podcast about how Johnny might be the Typhoid Mary of The Challenge, in the sense that all those would have beaten him in elimination games have not won a title on their own since. Seriously, give it a read. There is a little negativity, but not as much as what you're about to read.
Episode Aired: January 10, 2005
Recap Posted: January 16, 2005
When we're dissatisfied with a show, we tend to snap into Comic Book Guy Mode. With The Challenge, there are a lot of contenders for that title . . . if there was to be a title. Over the years, I feel there have been a lot of nadirs. Extreme Challenge. Gauntlet 2. The Island. The Ruins. Rivals 3. Final Reckoning. And, of course, Battle of the Sexes 2.
It wasn't just the show. At this point, I was being sniped at by most of the other recappers at Reality News Online. They didn't like my negativity. They disagreed with opinions I took on The Apprentice. One of the writers misinterpreted my comments and called me a misogynist, which really upset me. They didn't like me frequenting the Television Without Pity forums, as they didn't seem to actually visit and see that the average discourse was more civil than most message boards. Snarky, yes, but it wasn't mostly cursing and typos. And while they shit was going on, the sixth season of The Amazing Race had the nicer teams getting eliminated and the nastier pieces of work clinging on. Because of the awesomeness of the prior season and its happy ending (middle-aged couple Chip & Kim winning), karma balanced the tables, and my favorite reality show became a horror movie. And unlike most films of that genre, the "final girl" -- in this case, long-distance dating couple Kris & Jon -- wound up getting a machete to the head at the end, finishing second to the odious Freddy and racist Kendra.
I just feel that I feel to explain the context determining my mood, as I try to recover memories from almost fifteen years ago . . . why I kept being negative. Well, more negative. The final three episodes of Battle Of The Sexes 2 would prove to be one painful kick to the body after another, in the few places that hadn't felt pain yet. And that brings me to Sophia Pasquis.
I never met Sophia in person. I interviewed her twice in 2001 for an article I wrote while I was enrolled as a grad student at New York University (you can read it here ). In retrospect, she probably didn't have to help me out. I think she was interviewed by anyone into reality TV and culture back then, since she was the first openly gay cast member on Road Rules. Before and after those interviews, I had liked her "work" on MTV. She was pretty mellow on Road Rules: The Quest, at least compared to headcases like Adam, Ellen and Jisela. And that mini-Afro was soothing to look at. Not as majestic as Malik from RW: Back to New York, but it was still a nice signature.
Sophia came to Battle of the Sexes 2. I was looking forward to it . . .two of my favorite females that I had been in touch with from time to time -- Melissa Howard and Sarah Greyson -- had come to The Challenge (Battle of the Sexes and The Gauntlet, respectively), and they made out well. Melissa almost made the finale and got Julie eliminated in the first episode, and Sarah was on the winning Road Rules team after fighting for her survival five times. Surely, Sophia wouldn't be put through the wringer as bad as that, right?
I was wrong. Her team got manhandled in almost every mission. She had a few breakdowns on Elimination Hill. Watching her slowly lose her mind was brutal . . . and the worst was yet to come.
Postscript to the Prologue: War of the Worlds 2 ended as a big mess. On the bright side, I got an article published on Saniac Podcast about how Johnny might be the Typhoid Mary of The Challenge, in the sense that all those would have beaten him in elimination games have not won a title on their own since. Seriously, give it a read. There is a little negativity, but not as much as what you're about to read.
Episode Aired: January 10, 2005
Recap Posted: January 16, 2005
Do you crave depressing moments and the eternally lame triumphing
week in and week out? It's more of the same this week.
Previously on Battle of the Sexes
2: There was an argument between Sophia and Coral that we never saw before.
Coral felt that she expects so much more from Ruthie, while Sophia didn't want
Ruthie to be punished. The guys won Semi-Cross, running their record to 11-2.
Theo: "The girls' team is like some little forgotten country that has
pretty much all been defeated." Shots of dejected girls, followed by Coral
ripping into Robin. Here's my question: what would their national anthem be? I
got it down to either "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day, or
My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)." On Elimination
Hill, Shane was booted by the guys, while the ladies voted out Robin, tearing
her from Mark. Yeah, I'm so sure he'll be suffering from that. Coral interviewed
that she loved Robin, but she wants the $60,000. Can things get more depressing
tonight?
At the Women's Lounge, Ruthie and
Sophia shoot the breeze. Ruthie interviews that she thinks about the shadiness
on her team. "There's some people that have gone that have good
hearts," she adds, "and now I know Sophia's the only one left."
That's a helluva endorsement. Sophia tells Ruthie that she's willing to punch
out and cuss at people. They laugh.
Outside the Men's Lounge, Eric and
Mark play catch. Mark feels that since they're so close to the end, they might
as well buddy up. Eric interviews that everybody knows he and Mark would
protect each other no matter what. Mark asks who would be in the final three.
Eric figures it's a toss-up between Theo and Dan, and that they're both good
for certain tasks. "Eric's one of my best friends," Mark interviews,
"and it's good to have someone on your side that is a good friend."
Nighttime at the Men's Lounge. Theo
answers the sponsor phone, getting the clue. Cut to Brad, walking on his hands.
I'm guessing he's all about mocking the exposition, and I can respect that.
Over at the Women's Lounge, Sophia reads the clue to Ruthie: "Are you
ready for loads of fun?" More details: be ready by 8:30 a.m., and wear
tennis shoes. The girls wonder if this mission will require getting naked. Theo
thinks that maybe they have to play tennis. Brad interviews that he's getting
along with everybody, and it's going to be difficult to vote somebody off.
It's a new day, as the kids get to
the mission site. This time, we have cars on platforms and a few dozen luggage
bags. Jonny welcomes everybody to today's mission: Car-Go. The objective: lift
a car ten feet off the ground. The method: each car is loaded onto a
contraption, which is connected to four free weight pulleys. The players must
pull the chains to raise the contraption, and the key is for the chains to be
pulled at the same time. Before any of that happens, the cars must be loaded
with luggage. "Packing is not my forte," Coral interviews. "I
tip bellboys to do that kind of [bleep]." Jonny explains that the luggage
fits in a certain way, and that the bags cannot be stuffed, crunched, broken,
or shoved into other bags. The first team to raise the car wins exercise
equipment, worth $2,600 per person. Jonny gives both sides 30 minutes to pick
leaders. Since we're so late into the game, there will be two leaders per side.
Arissa interviews that it's every person for themselves, and they all what to
get the cash.
On the guys' side, Mark asks Dan if
he's good at loading. Dan thinks that he is, and Mark pronounces him and Eric
to be the leaders. Brad interviews that the leaders were picked without any
discussion, adding "that's a little creepy." He goes up to the guys,
asking who the leaders are. After some awkward silence and a commercial break,
Brad points out that figuring out leaders is more important than putting bags
in the car, and that he does not want to get burned in the end. Dan interviews
that Brad is nervous, since Eric is on the bottom rung but is leading. Mark
wishes that somebody had two disqualifications. Theo thinks that Eric has
messed up a little more than the other team members. Mark figured that Eric and
Dan were good packers, and Dan adds that he used to pack trucks for a living.
Brad notes that he used to work at UPS. Eric says that if the team loses, the
leaders would be at risk, but he's willing to chance it. "I know that the
only way for me to survive is to be a leader and win," Eric interviews.
"There's no other place for me, because I'm number five when it comes to
points." Brad interviews that he's alone, but he'll abide by the team
decision.
Over on the girls' side, Coral feels
it's important to pick leaders. Tina steps up, then adds that she doesn't want
Coral or Sophia to lead with her. Coral goes on about how Ruthie wouldn't want
to go up against a strong person. Ruthie: "So you're saying I'm not
strong?" Coral asks why Ruthie isn't stepping up to be a leader. Ruthie
responds that Coral thinks that she would go home with a loss. Coral thinks
that Ruthie has done the same things as Tina. Ruthie brings up her struggles
with the Sa-Wing mission. Once again, Coral asks why Ruthie isn't stepping up.
"Picking leaders is no longer a way of winning a mission," Coral
interviews. "It's a way of keeping your ass in the game." Arissa
doesn't want to step up, since that's a 99.9 percent chance they'll lose every
mission. "Stepping up is pretty much asking to die," she interviews.
"I'm not stepping up!"
Coral asks if Ruthie is not stepping
up, which Ruthie denies. Ruthie interviews that Arissa is quiet, and that she
has a good feeling about the mission. So at long last, Ruthie steps up. Either
she's very naive, very optimistic, or Coral has Jedi mind powers that do not
translate well on the screen.
Jonny calls up the team leaders. Dan
starts organizing the guys. He interviews that Eric will pack the trunk, Brad
and Theo will deal with the small bags, and Mark will cram the front seat. Tina
wants to stick the bags in vertically, which Ruthie interviews is a waste of
space. Turns out Ruthie wants to stack the bags horizontally. Tina isn't
comfortable with Ruthie's plan and feels it isn't fully thought out, but she
goes along with it.
Jonny blows his air horn to get the
mission started. Both sides stuff the cars with bags. It's not boring, but it's
not exactly action-packed. The guys finish packing their car first. Theo
supervises the lifting while the others pull the chains. The ladies join in, as
Arissa oversees their efforts. "I'm determined to win," she
voiceovers, "not only because of the prize, but because of my pride. I
can't stomach another loss. The girls gotta step it up." Both sides pull.
Eric yells about something we didn't know about; namely, the bottle that is
attached to the contraption. Once the bottle leaves the ground, the car has
offically gone ten feet. We get a shot of the bottle lifting up. Jonny blows
his air horn. Guess what? The guys won. Again.
This is not the worst season ever.
That distinction goes to Extreme Challenge and The Inferno.
However, this is the most depressing season ever. And what lessons have we
learned every week? First of all, I know enough not to make judgments on the
genders based on this show. I know that if I were to gather eighteen guys and
eighteen gals to compete, the results would probably vary from what we've
gotten. Secondly? "Battle of the Sexes" does not work… not for Challenge,
not for Survivor, not for The Apprentice, not for any reality
show. I don't even watch American Idol, but I know you fans are gonna be
upset within the next month over the semi-final format. The women just never
seem to come off well with this format, and I'm sick of typing "guys
win" damn near every week. We now go back to your regularly scheduled
recap.
The girls try to dissect where
things went wrong. Arissa notes that the guys got their car up quickly. Coral
feels it came down to the packing of the last bag. Tina says she felt better
with her plan. Ruthie thinks she didn't have a bad plan, and she's pissed off
that Tina is placing the blame. She also interviews that Tina can go procreate
in isolation, if you know what I mean. Sophia is hoping that Tina was just
explaining what had happened. "But it was more for blaming," she
adds. "I don't think that's cool."
Jonny wraps things up, awarding the
exercise equipment to the guys. Today's voting: Dan and Eric pick off a guy,
Ruthie and Tina are vulnerable. Sophia interviews that she will act as Ruthie's
lawyer in order to convince the others to let her stay. Jonny gives both sides
one hour to deliberate.
At the Main Lounge, those not in the
Inner Circles sweat out their fate. Mark feels he would go home if the guys
don't like his overall performance. Theo states the obvious: that Mark is lucky
to be buddies with Eric, and Eric is on the bottom of the totem pole. Brad
reminds everybody that the teams had 30 minutes to pick leaders, and the guys
did it in five seconds. He interviews that he should have stepped up to prevent
Eric from leading. Mark asks how Arissa dodged being a leader. I'd like to know
that as well. Ruthie interviews that it's obvious that Arissa should be going
home for a long time. Tina feels that she would be ready to pack if she was
next to Coral or Sophia, and she's confident being next to Ruthie or Arissa.
Ruthie: "That's because I don't [bleepin'] toot my horn about every
[bleepin'] mission." Tina: "I'm sick of waiting around, waiting for
this so-called huge character Ruthie to come out and to dominate the game. She
hasn't done such at all. She hasn't delivered at all." Sad but true. Back
in BOTS1, Ruthie was on top of the leaderboard after all but two
missions. Maybe she's just an individual star, and not a huge team player. In a
way, it breaks my heart.
Men's Lounge, Boys' Inner Circle.
Eric asks Dan if one guy steps up more than the others. Dan interviews that
this is a rough decision, since the remaining men are strong. He thinks that
Theo sometimes gets "too heated" in missions, and he brings up Mark's
loss in Bombs Away. Eric notes that Dan, Mark and Theo have been in the final mission
in past Challenges.
Women's Lounge, Girls' Inner Circle.
Sophia is acting as Ruthie's defense counselor, and the prosecution is
hammering her. Coral thinks Sophia and Ruthie want to be together in the final
three, and if Tina goes home, Arissa will follow. Sure, but you'd be safe,
right? Sophia rebuffs the accusation. Coral thinks that if Sophia had to choose
between and Ruthie, she would be gone. That, and some of my Coral-hating
friends would treat Sophia like a queen for the rest of her life. Coral interviews
that it's not smart to keep two best friends. She tells Sophia that keeping
Ruthie jeopardizes her or Arissa. Arissa butts in, saying it just jeopardizes
her. Coral does not want to be at the mercy of best friends. "They see
these friendships as a hindrance," Sophia interviews, "but they'd
better think about who they're voting off and who they left to make it a strong
team." Coral asks Arissa whether she can trust her and Tina, or Sophia and
Ruthie. Everybody just stares quietly.
We go to Elimination Hill. Dan and
Eric step forward to make the announcement for the fellas. Dan claims that it
was a difficult decision, and that they had to make a logical choice. All three
guys actually look stressed. Our unlucky loser? It's Brad, and unlike the last
several dismissed players, he does not look happy. He steps forward, telling
his team that he went through the emotional roller coaster already, and he's
just spent. Eric insists it wasn't personal, adding, "We love you as a
person, dude." Go play with your jump rope, Eric. Brad interviews that he
was so close to the big prize, and could taste it. I feel you, man. I had Brad,
Dan and Theo being on the final team. Now, I might be lucky to have one person
there by the end of next week.
Coral steps up for the women's side,
and goes into her spiel when… oh, no. Oh, no no no no. Don't walk forward,
Sophia! Don't nudge Coral out of the way! I swear, she was so normal on The
Quest, at least when compared to her fellow cast members. This show is
slowly driving her out of her mind. Anyway, Sophia says this is the hardest
thing for her to do, and that she fought for this person. She's so sad, she
can't even say Ruthie's name. The others clap as the friends hug. Ruthie admits
that this wasn't her game. Sophia: "It was your game, it just wasn't your
circumstance." Ruthie goes on about hoping the people who deserve to be on
the final team stay on to make up for the losses. "I decided to play it
fair," she interviews, "and unfortunately, it cost me my spot. I
don't ever want to sell my soul for money."
Brad walks with Dan, still not
getting why he's going home. Ever the good cop, Dan says that he and Eric
looked to see who had standout missions. Cut to the Lounge, where Mark and Eric
hang out. "You're not really playing an honest game," Eric
interviews. "Although everybody says that they are, am I going to feel
bad? No. Why should I have a difficult time sending somebody else home? It's
the nature of the game." And needless to say, the nature of this game
sucks raw eggs. Seriously, at least Norman carried himself with some dignity in
The Gauntlet. You take away Eric's time on RW, and he's just a sad man
with a jump rope.
Elsewhere, Coral hugs Brad, trying
to comfort him. Not exactly the "Mother Hen" moments like with Sarah
and Leah,
but I can take what I can get. He tells her that he still can't believe she's
out, and that he should have fought for the leader role. "I wanted to feel
like it was my time to go," he interviews, "but certain people that
are still here that aren't supposed to be here, that's the only thing that
bothers me walking away from this game. This was my game. I should have made it
to the end." Poor guy. He's rumored to be doing the next Challenge even as
you read this. Here's hoping he plays the game with honor and gets his just
reward.
Theo escorts Brad to the van.
"He was a great competitor and he's unbelievable," Theo interviews.
"Eric doesn't deserve to be here, and it's time for him to bow out
gracefully." I've had issues with Theo throughout this season, but we're
on the same wavelength. Of course, that probably means that Theo will be out on
his butt next week, and Eric would win $60,000. Have I mentioned how much I
hate this season? Elsewhere, Ruthie and Sophia share one last hug. Sophia
interviews that she doesn't know this game will end, but she knows that she
must perform well in the next mission. "Right now," she adds, "I
only have my back."
Next time: Mark and Eric feel that
Dan and Theo deserve a spot in the final three. Eric: "It's all about
strategy. It's all about positioning." Arissa has trouble with walking on
a beam jutting off a roof. Two guys fall off. Why do I feel like next week will
be a lot worse than today?
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhh*
In terms of diminishing returns, Ruthie's Challenge "career" could be considered tragic. Yes, people will point out her drunken misadventures on Real World: Hawaii, and that isn't easy to paint over, even when most of her roommates were mentally skewed in their own individual ways. While she did let Emily call her shots in the Inner Circle during Battle of the Sexes, Ruthie was the most consistent performer, leading the rest of the women after all but two missions.
She would come back in Gauntlet 2, and earned herself the position of becoming the female Captain of the Veterans team. But then she had to face a bad person (Beth), and that person got to choose the worst possible game for Ruthie (Reverse Tug-Of-War). Needless to say, Ruthie was bounced from the game in an even more inglorious fashion than in BOTS2.
Ruthie's final season was Duel II. She lasted five missions before being bounced by Kimberly from RW: Hollywood. On the plus side, Ruthie seems to be doing good with her life. I saw her at Caroline's in Manhattan a few months ago. She really rocked the shorter hair. When asked if she would return, Ruthie figured that she wasn't in the type of shape that The Challenge demands these days, but she ended her response with a "never say never."
Brad's "career" was more checkered, as he would eventually become the poster boy for Challengers who couldn't get that first win. Inferno II saw him pressed into a battle with Abram that ended with his defeat. Oh, and that same episode started with Brad getting an epic wedgie from Mike. Gauntlet 2 had Brad verbally squaring off with Derrick in one episode. While they eventually made up, they were eventually pitted against each other in the Gauntlet, with Derrick coming away the winner. To keep thing short, here's the rest of his run:
- The Duel: lost to CT in the final Duel, but wound up advancing to the finale when CT pulled a carabiner even after host TJ Lavin told them not to do that, like, fifty times. Brad would up losing the final mission to Wes.
- Gauntlet III: He was the only male on the Veterans team that I could respect, since most of them were in "Trim The Fat" mode, constantly trying to lose the female teammates that could weigh them down in the final mission. They would eventually win that season . . . but since they had to dump a dying Eric Banks (a guy full of actual fat that the Veterans didn't want to face in the Gauntlet), the Rookies would up with the victory.
- Duel II: Brad wound up the final two Duels, winning both . . . including an upset over Greatest Of All Time (GOAT) short-list candidate Landon. He would lose to Evan in the final mission, extending his woeful streak.
- The Ruins: I blocked out most of this horrible season. All I remember in regard to Brad is that he wound up punching Darrell. He responded with about fifty shots to Brad's face, giving him a black eye. If Darrell has a "man cave" away from his wife and children, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a large picture of Brad with that black eye. Oh, and both were ejected from the game.
Brad finally got over the hump in Cutthroat, as he won with the Red team . . . a foursome that included his wife Tori Hall. And then things went south again . . . they got divorced, Brad returned in Vendettas and Final Reckoning, falling short both times. He also got into a showmance with Britni from Are You The One? Thanks to the age difference, I wound up making a LOT of "windowless van circling the high school" jokes. I know, real cheap, but Brad had long soured in my eyes. On the bright side, the recent actions of Stephen Bear gave me a new target for those jokes.
Next recap: even more depressing stuff. In the meantime, have a happy (and safe) holiday season.