Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Quick Predictions

I'm going to be busy this week...got an article to write and a test to take. And given what happened on last night's Inferno II episode, I will probably overanalyze the crap out of it. Short story: bad on Jodi and Julie to tweak the rules, bad on the production crew to let them get away with it by switching the order of nominations, bad on the Bad Asses for dogpiling on Jodi. Right now, the only players still in the game that I'd invite to dinner are Brad and Jamie. And I might not do that unless they bring Jacquese and/or Randy.

Anyway, Dan had acted extra-bitchy last night, his worst outburst since the doomed cheerleader mission on Extreme Challenge. Between that, Karamo's ouster last week, and Coby Archa (aka Poor Man's Richard Hatch) getting thwacked on Survivor: Palau, I'd say it's not a good month for gay folks on reality television. With that in mind, I have two predictions.

1. Lynn & Alex will finish last on The Amazing Race tonight

Right now, they're in fourth place, unaware that Phil Keoghan is about to drop a double-leg on him. I figure they'll be a bunch up, then they'll make a big mistake and go in the back of the pack. The good news? It'll be a non-elimination leg. The bad news? They get stripped of all their money AND whatever they're carrying AND not get a cent to start the next leg. While I find these two to be a bit much, it wouldn't be the end of the world if they won. Hey, somebody's gotta beat Rob & Amber, and I'm not sure if Uchenna & Joyce would be the ones to do it.

2. Next week, Rachel will take Veronica's place in the Inferno and lose to Jodi

Is it wrong that I'm excited by the prospect of Rachel or Veronica forced into the Inferno? Veronica has been in three situations where she was on the verge of going into an endgame. She had bailed herself out twice (here and here) and got an assist from her team (here). But Rachel never got close to the Gauntlet. No, she'd be in on throwing Sarah under the bus again and again, even though she had little to no game of her own. Remember the faceoff between Campus Crawl and RW: Las Vegas, where skinny Irulan outwrestled her? And you're telling me Jodi can't beat her? If Jodi pulls off the "upset" on Rachel (or Veronica... I ain't picky), she'll be a hero. If not? Well...the interviews that the Bad Asses give will be brutal.

Abram: "Hey, nice goin', Jodi. [channeling Rosie O'Donnell's character from the upcoming TV movie] 'Dur, I'mma gonna switch my vote and attack Veronica and dur dur durrrr!' [flashing double birds] Fuck you, Jodi."

Veronica: "This is what you get! This is what you get when you mess with me! Seven Challenges, bitch! SEVEN! Don't mess! With me!"

CT: [bare-chested, wearing the shades and medallion] "Yeah, Jodi thought she was real hot shit, but she's nothin'. She's a punk. Go sulk with Beth and Karamo, and don't lemme see ya ever again."

Derrick: "I thought I could trust Jodi, but something like this, you can't trust nobody but yourself. [Looking down] Hey, it's Mr. Frog! [singing] My buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy..."

Julie: "Wow, looks like that plan backfired. Can't believe Jodi was stupid enough to make that move all by herself. [Pausing, remembering that it was her plan, then showing all 620 of her front teeth in an insincere smile]"

I know...it's a bit much. But remember, I've wrote about these people for years. The above flights of fancy aren't that high off the ground, if you get my drift. Just print this post out and see if I'm right. And hopefully, I'll have the recap up by the end of the week.