Friday, June 24, 2005

Misadventure and Miscellany

Had a semisucky day. The plan was to drive to Philadelphia and watch the Mets face the Phillies. I dawdle at home, run into a few traffic jams on the New Jersey Turnpike (including seeing and smeling a burnt-up car)...then ran smack into a stoppage getting off. So I forgot about it, got back on the Turnpike, and went home. I should have gone much earlier...according to one broadcaster, it was the largest weekday crowd in the two-year history of Citizen's Bank Park. On the plus side, I didn't get a ticket in advance. My need to avoid surcharges actually came in handy.

Moving onward...just want to get some relity stuff out of the way...

Final Flames

I'm almost done taking notes of the last Inferno II episode. And yeah, it was emotionally satisfying, even if I had been spoiled (for the record, it wasn't the spoilermonkey that came in here, but Blair telling us that he'd have two winners on his show, and I had seen a brief glimpse of Mike & Jamie). I'm happy the Good Guys won. Sure, Mike is a pain in the ass, Landon gets drunk as easily as the new kids from RW: Austin (more on them later) and Darrell is still the eternal mushmouth. But throughout the missions, the team came together, and that came out in winning eight missions, despite being shorthanded most of the time. Usually, once a team has lost players, it's a downhill slope towards oblivion. The Good Guys prevailed...which is great, since I couldn't imagine any Bad Ass save for Derrick (nice guy) and Tonya (needs a break) getting their hands on the big check. The Good Guys were a team, the Bad Asses were a group of talented indivduals...and that's what sunk them.

Most Improved?

I got a comment today about the lack of disgusting missions this season. I think that Bunim-Murray Productions finally gave a damn. Most of the missions were tighter than in past seasons. The endgames were a lot better than in the first Inferno. While BMP pales in games when directly compared to Survivor and The Amazing Race, Inferno II actually held its own. The question is whether they can keep it up for Return to the Gauntlet. The bad news? I heard there would be three kids from RW: Austin in Trinidad & Tobago right now, so it might be a while before we see the new season. Speaking of which...

Same As It Ever Was

Real World: Austin premiered on Tuesday night. At this point, it's paint-by-numbers. Kids meet each other. Kids move into the house. Kids dive into hot tub and get giggly with each other. Kids go out on the town. Kids start forming cracks within their own group. Oh, and the booze. Can't forget the time when the first thing cast members from RW: San Diego did was hit the liquor store. Priorities, right?

As usual, the kids can't kick back old-school style. No, they gotta start kissing right they're reading a manual written by Trishelle and Steven. I'm already blurring on the girls. Melinda seems to be the Trishelle clone, and I haven't read anything good about her in the forums. Johanna got reamed for getting drunk and overreacting to getting talked down. I'm such a geek...everytime I see her, I remember that she's from Lima, Peru. And my mind flashes back to the beginning of The Amazing Race 7, and Uchenna yelling "LIMAPERU!" Speaking of TAR7, I think army nurse Rachel might bring up Iraq as many times as Ron did. Wes is still Abram 2.0 until further notice. Danny seems like an okay guy. Then again, I suffered sixteen weeks of CT, so any other guy from the Boston area looks good by comparison. I can respect a guy who can try to duplicate the scatting style of David "Bishop Woo Woo" Broom on a casting tape, but I fear Nehemiah is going to be shoved into "angry black man" mode thanks to his roommates. And so far, Lacey seems least as normal as the kid of two hippies-turned-conservatives can be. I still think she looks like Trudy Wiegel from Reno 911!.

A word to the citizens of the next RW host city...don't start fights with cast members. Look, I know they're mostly assholes. I know they're going to think they're hot stuff. And your neighborhood will be targeted and remodelled to something you wouldn't like. But seriously...don't fight 'em. After Ruthie almost dying of alcohol overdose in '99, Danny had the worst second night in the show's history. He got punched in the face by some schmuck due to a misunderstanding. The worst part? Right before Danny gets punched, one lost MENSA member jumps in front of the camera. Classy, right? At the very least, there's the odds that you'd be hitting a psycho like Slappy Stephen or Landon. Too dicey.

The Next Big Thing

While we're waiting for the next Challenge, Bravo will unveil Battle of the Network Reality Stars in August. It's a reality geek's dreamed, mixed in with the old-school Battle of the Network Stars specials. Already, three Challengers have been announced in the official press release: Mike (fresh off his win in Inferno II), Coral (who will probably be thrilled to pieces that freakin' Trishelle is a sideline reporter), and Theo Vonkurnatowski (swamp rat, incorrectly named "Theo Gantt" in the official press release AND in this RNO article...way to fact-check, Dave!) Also rumored to be here is Coral's ex-roommate, Melissa Howard. I love the girl. Love her style, love her wit, and loved how she helped get Julie eliminated from Battle of the Sexes. Also, since she's a reality geek, she'll probably love some of the folks she'll be competing against:

Richard Hatch & Susan Hatch: Wait, are they the Ike & Tina of the Survivor set? I still cringe at the grinding incident during All-Stars, and how Rob Cesternino got shoved between them at the reunion show.

Charla Faddoul & Mirna Hindoyan: Sure, they were one of the more memorable teams from The Amazing Race 5, but I'm not comfy with Charla's career choices. And did she have to bring Mirna? "Come on, Charla! Run, Charla! Richard is a criminal, Charla!" So annoying.

Chip & Kim McAllister: The most beloved champs in TAR history? Oh, hell yes. Quick prediction: if there's an eating competition, Chip will win. The guy's gut propelled him and his wife to two first-place finishes.

Jonathan Baker & Victoria Fuller: They haven't sunk into oblivion yet? Damn. And I had half-convinced myself they were just a bad dream.

Will Kirby & Mike Malin: The first "Dr. Evil" of Big Brother? Whatever. But two seconds of "Mike Boogie" rapping, and you'll be screaming to listen to Adam King freestyle.

Heidi Bressler & Bradford Cohen: The former was the first hatchet-face from The Apprentice, and will probably love seeing sideline reporter Omarosa; the latter gave up immunity and got called "stupid" five dozen times by Trump before getting fired.

Matthew Kennedy Gould: From the greatest mock reality program ever, The Joe Schmo Show. How did he get an invite? What is going on??!? Sorry...had to say it.

I'll stop here. Recap should be up tomorrow. One last chance to serve up the likes of Veronica and Rachel on a platter. Don't miss it!

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