Challengers In The Spotlight: From Julie To Cara Maria

The Challenge: Battle of the Bloodlines is ending this week. Some have seen it as a misfire, as alumni from The Real World, The Challenge and Are You The One? brought in their siblings and cousins to compete. I blame the decision to separate the group into two teams three episodes into the season, which led to the Red team defeating Blue for six weeks, until the "Bloodlines" were reunited. One thing is for certain: this has been the season of Cara Maria Sorbello.

Cara Maria was first introduced in Fresh Meat II, another attempt to increase the field of contestants by Bunim-Murray Productions. She lasted one mission before losing the Exile with her partner Darrell. Since then, Cara Maria has competed in seven seasons of The Challenge. She has only made it to the finale three times. This season, she came into the game with her cousin, Jamie Banks. In the penultimate episode, they wound up finishing second in the grueling first part of the final mission, placing behind Jenna (Jay's ex from Real World: Ex-Plosion) & Brianna (her cousin), but ahead of Corey (another Ex-Plosion cast member) & Mitch (his cousin).

Throughout the season, Cara Maria has been front and center. To start, she got flirtatious with rookie Thomas (Ex-Plosion), to the point where she gave him a handjob in the van. This was scandalous since she had a boyfriend: Abram, the guy I covered in four Challenges (including Inferno II), and whom I dubbed "The Bozo From Bozeman." After two teams (Leroy & Candice, Tony & Shane) were released due to injuries (Candice's broken toe, Tony's ruptured spleen), Abram and his brother Mike were brought in as replacements. Needless to say, the drama thickened. "Johnny Bananas" (who has long outstayed his welcome) wound up bursting the bubble, sending his idiot cousin Vince to tell Abram about the incident. This not only led to painful moments on the show, it also spilled over to an After Show on MTV that was hard to watch. I'm convinced that the producers had to give horse tranquilizers to Abram to prevent a catastrophe.

Cara Maria was placed in jeopardy when Jamie had to compete in the Pit (this season's endgame format), since "Bloodlines" had to accompany each other from the show upon a loss. To make things more interesting, Jamie and Mike did not face each other, but rather CT and Zach, who were brought in as muscle. Jamie lasted longer in the Pit against CT than Mike did with Zach, and Abram & Mike left, leaving Cara Maria to focus on the game.  In the following episodes, the "Bloodlines" were reunited, and Cara Maria and Jamie teamed up again . . . only for them to finish last in the mission, forcing them into the Pit. They wound up beating Johnny & Vince, which made me happy because fuck "Johnny Bananas." After that, Cara Maria was sent into the Pit to take on Aneesa (another long-time veteran unable to win the big one), and that spilled into on-the-bus drama. Cara Maria won the Pit, but StopBeingPolite.com added Aneesa to its "Comprehensive List of People Who Don’t Like Cara Maria."

I figure that a win by Cara Maria & Jamie in the finale would lead to her retirement from The Challenge. Her constant presence does raise a question: Has a season of this show ever hinged that heavily on a particular person? Yes, it has. Because I have spent too many years watching this dreck, I can point out other cast members who have shined brightly on the big stage.

Julie Stoffer (Extreme Challenge)

At the dawn of the modern era of reality television (2000), Julie was at the forefront alongside the celebrities spawned from the original Survivor, becoming the show's most memorable ingénue since Julie Oliver from the original season in 1992. She was presented as a sheltered Mormon girl exploring her boundaries on RW: New Orleans. She was the one most viewers zeroed in on, which was a feat given that three other cast members could be consider breakout stars (gay/loveable Danny, playa/egomaniac David Broom, neurotic/hilarious Melissa). Back when Real World/Road Rules Challenge was a traveling circus, Julie's inclusion was more than likely a slam dunk, especially after she was kicked out of Brigham Young for living with boys.

But something bad happened on Extreme Challenge. Julie wound up getting more bratty with each passing episode, and some viewers figured the second "m" in "Mormon" was silent. She got into a blood feud with Emily (who started her three Challenge career here). Watching a Real World team uncharacteristically get the better of a Road Rules squad became painful to watch because of Julie's involvement, despite the inclusion of nice people like Kameelah, Syrus and Dan Renzi. When a frustrated James wound up pelting her with paintballs past his allotted time during a mission, you couldn't totally blame the rugby-playing sore loser. Julie wound up winning a $110,000 pool with her team, as well as a new car, but her attitude left a bad taste in viewers' mouths. It also was her peak as a Challenger. Two season later, in Battle Of The Sexes, she was pulled into a feud with Melissa, who wound up convincing the Inner Circle to vote her out first. Needless to say, that made me a happy camper, because like Melissa, I couldn't stand the bitch.

Sarah Greyson (The Gauntlet)

Sarah was the weak link on Road Rules: Campus Crawl. She struggled in missions, and she was eventually voted out by her castmates, most of whom didn't give her a second thought afterward. The following season, she was part of a team to face the current edition (RR: South Pacific) in a marathon of missions. Midway through that, Sarah was shown covering her eyes, leading to her ouster. Campus Crawl wound up winning, but the "Sarah as scrub" narrative had been strengthened. So when the first episode of Gauntlet included two of her teammates (Darrell and Rachel Robinson) scheming to get rid of her, most viewers weren't surprised.

This was the season of BMP's experiment of giving outcasts a chance to stay in the game by winning in the Gauntlet, and Sarah was the mouse most frequently in the maze. In the first mission, she withstood a freezing pool longer than Road Rules teammate Laterrian, but the team voted her in the Gauntlet. In the inaugural elimination round,. she had to hang by her legs from a trapeze (Dead Man's Drop), and she outlasted the heavier David Broom to win. She would go two-for-two in the same Gauntlet five episodes later, dispatching Matt. Three episodes after that, she defeated Trishelle competing in the puzzle-assembling A Perfect Fit, prompting Theo Vonkurnotowski to proclaim that she should take the Gauntlet home with her. But sides had been drawn when it came to Sarah, and an alliance led by Rachel, Veronica and ADD-addled douchebag Adam Larson seemed hellbent to lose Sarah before the final mission, lest she hold the team back.

Things got ugly in a log-balancing mission (Rolling On a River), as Laterrian caused Sarah to fall off early. In the ensuing vote, Sarah was declared to be a weaker link than her underachieving teammate. Worse, she was pitted against her best friend, Rachel Braband (the overgrown pixie from RW: Back to New York). Sarah barely outlasted Rachel on the bull-riding Gauntlet to stay in the game. Coral felt for Sarah to the point where she comforted her and bitched out Adam for his poor treatment. Two episodes later, Abram and Sarah tied in the voting format set up by the team, and Abram was sent in by Theo, who had been given the Aztec Lifeshield for finishing the mission (All or Nothing) better than his teammates. Abram wound up losing to Mike Mizanin in the Gauntlet, but he wound up having a steamy threesome with Rachel Robinson and Veronica. Worse, the girls dubbed "Butterface" and "Kleptronica" by the forums dwellers bitched out Sarah for her illicit romance with Theo (which was elaborated on in the Inferno II preview special). My belief is that Sarah and Theo didn't do that much in comparison to other "showmances" at that time (Mike/Trishelle, Dave/Cara). They certainly tried to hide it from the cameras, as opposed to some people. Yes, I'm still bitter.

In the following episode, Sarah flamed out of a rappelling mission (Vertical Sweep, according to Wikipedia), and she was sent into the Gauntlet for the fifth time. She wound up competing in Dead Man's Drop with Irulan. On her (now-defunct) blog, she said that she was in agony from hanging on the trapeze in prior Gauntlets to the point where the production staff gave her painkillers. She wound up outlasting Irulan, much to the delight of the staff, many of whom likened Irulan and teammate/boyfriend Alton to Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown.

In the final mission, Sarah did not provide to be an albatross to the nine-person Road Rules team. At one point, Adam actually gave Sarah a piggyback ride. While some people figure Road Rules won due to Real World's coping with an ailing Coral (who had been bit by a spider and suffered an allergic reaction), I think they would have triumphed anyway. Against all odds, Sarah won her Challenge. . . and unlike the rest of the people on this list, she would never come back. While her 5-0 endgame record has been equaled, I don't think her example will ever be surpassed.

Katie Doyle (The Inferno)

It took me a while to warm up to Katie in general. She made history as the first substitute on Road Rules, replacing the more exciting Jisela on The Quest. In The Gauntlet, she got into a feud with Veronica and was sent into two Gauntlets, where she defeated Montana, but lost to Rachel Braband. In The Inferno, she was once again on the Road Rules team, and she was seen by her side as a weak link.

Unlike Sarah, Katie was a lot more mouthy about her team's dislike of her. The Real World would not choose her to go into the Inferno because she was a crap player. After one mission where Real World won (I don't remember which one), a few of the guys lifted her on their shoulders in celebration. Road Rules came up with a plan to send her into the Inferno by letting their Inferno nomination win the Aztec LifeSaver, which would allow that person to pick a replacement for the endgame. The first effort failed in Don't Yank My Chain, where Katie wound up outlasting Christena in the mission. Four episodes later, Veronica was in a similar situation, and the team sacrificed a win to Real World in order for her to get the best time on the rappelling mission, Balcony Swing. The low point came when Abram made a mockery of the mission, whooping it up and dropping flags, rubbing the plan in Katie's face. She wound up replacing Veronica in the Inferno, where she faced Julie (who had rubbed a lot of people -- Coral in particular -- the wrong way). In one of the dumbest elimination rounds ever devised, Katie endured a three-hour trek on a treadmill covered in itching powder, and she wound up outlasting Julie while jumping rope. This made me a happy camper, since I still hated Julie, and she had challenged Coral to a wrestling match in the previous episode, leading Coral to declare, "I don't wrestle! I fuckin' beat bitches up!"

Road Rules was not happy. Despite the following Inferno nominations being male-based, the team schemed to send Katie in again. In Saturn Valet Ballet, most of the team tried to make sure nominee Timmy got the best time in the mission. They only won because a faction of the Real World side (led by CT) was throwing the mission to send in Leah to replace David Burns. In the ensuing chaos, Kendall (who was not in on the plan) got the best time on Road Rules, and she elected to go in Timmy's place. Kendall won, but RR was upset that Katie was still in the game.

In the final nomination process, Veronica was once again placed in peril. Katie gave it her all in the penultimate mission (Window Washing), and she wound up with a decent time. The problem: Veronica got the best time on her team's side, and she sent Katie to the Inferno to face David. Katie had to endure four hours being in a Plexiglass coffin with foul-smelling items (once again: the endgames were so lame), and she wound up winning the tiebreaker against David when she stayed submerged in the gunk longer than David.

What turned me around on Katie? It came in the penultimate episode, showed after she beat David, but actually taking place following the Kendall/Leah Inferno. Katie had a massive figurative diarrhea attack, she lost her shit so much. She cursed out Veronica, referring to her as "Verantula" in an interview. It got to the point where Katie had to be restrained from strangling her rival, as Mike had to carry her out of the room. It was a delightful scene, starting with the uncharacteristic show of a cameraman's hand in frame pushing a door open, and including background shots of Mike and Syrus getting a huge kick out of her tantrum. Between that, Veronica's treatment of Sarah in Gauntlet and the threesome, I didn't regard her as human anymore, and I came to be on Katie's side.

Road Rules wound up winning the final mission, scoring a $260,000 pot. While Katie would appear in subsequent seasons, she wound not be as dramatic or as spotlighted as she was in Inferno.

Tonya Cooley (Inferno II)

After a rocky stint on RW: Chicago, Tonya came across as normal on Battle of the Sexes (where she lasted eight rounds before being voted out by her team's Inner Circle) and The Gauntlet (three missions before Real World sent her to the Gauntlet, where she lost to Steve in A Perfect Fit). She became unglued in Battle of the Sexes 2, where she ruffled feathers,. completing twelve missions before being voted out, and allegedly wound up going out with Mark Long afterward . .. and this came following his showmance with Robin on BOTS2.

Tonya was cast in her fourth Challenge as a member of the Bad Asses team. With Robin on the Good Guys, sparks wound up flying, as Beth (who will be covered soon) fanned the drama flames. After Tonya and Robin argued, Tonya had it out with Beth, and that ended with Tonya dumping some of Beth's bags in the pool, and throwing the rest off the roof. Beth wound up bailing out of the show two episodes later. The good news for the Bad Asses was that their weakest link was gone. The bad news: the remaining women on the team -- Rachel Robinson, Tina and Veronica -- would form a clique for the purpose of harassing Tonya to no end. Without Beth as a potential punching bag, they turned on Tonya . .. particularly before, during and after Never Ending Climb. She would eventually be nominated by the Good Guys for the Inferno, and she was unable to get out of it in the subsequent mission (best known as "The One Where Julie Kept Muttering 'The Road To God Is Straight And Narrow,' Then Immediately Went Into The Water")., but she saved herself by defeating Julie in the Inferno. Naturally, I liked that development, because I still hated Julie.

The penultimate episode was not fun for Tonya. It started with harassment by Tina and Veronica while she tried to go to sleep. In the Inferno deliberation prior to the mission, those two girls joined Veronica in questioning Tonya's choice of Jamie Chung over potential weak link Shavonda. Then came the mission, where contestants had to get their heart rates below 100 beats per minute before performing a 125-foot tandem bungee via trapdoor. Paired with CT, she tried to ignore the taunting by Shavonda and Jamie (who never struck me  as a "mean girl"), but she couldn't break the 100 bpm barrier. She wound up going to the Inferno, stuck on a spinner for fifteen minutes before Shavonda tapped out, giving Tonya a spot in the final mission for the first time in her career.

Sadly, Tonya did not get Katie's happy ending. The final mission pitted a seven-strong Bad Ass team against a quartet of Good Guys. Tonya lagged for most of the finale, to the point where Rachel bitched her out to the camera during the mission. From what I heard, Tonya had been partying the previous night, and that led to her subpar performance. I figured the Bad Asses might have won had the Rachel/Tina/Veronica troika had bothered to treat Tonya like a human being. Also, Tina's performance was lackluster, but apparently Rachel and Veronica did not seem to notice. Typical, especially since Tina was (and will always be) a scrub. While the final Good Guys team was notable for their lack of numbers and various stages of development (Mike Mizanin's second win and his swan song before taking up pro wrestling; Landon's first Challenge win on his way to three; Darrell's third win out of four; Jamie's sole win before becoming a starlet), it was Tonya who was the star, for better and for worse. She would wind up winning on the Bad Ass team in Inferno 3, but she came back for The Island and The Ruins. It was in Ruins where she was kicked off for attacking Veronica, and where she would accuse two other Challengers of violating her in her sleep. May Tonya be living the peaceful life denied to her on television.

Beth Stolarcyzk & Derrick Kosinski (Gauntlet 2)

I know, this is a bit of a cheat, but Beth and Derrick had a few things in common. They were both on the Veterans team. They're both Polish-American. But man, did they take different paths in Gauntlet 2. Beth was old-school . . . annoying the shit out of viewers and cast members since 1993 (RW: Los Angeles) and coming up with very little in four previous Challenges. Derrick was part of the last conventional Road Rules season (X-Treme), debuting in Battle of the Sexes 2 where he only lasted five missions before being voted off by his team. He did gain distinction in Inferno II as the only male on the final Bad Ass team who didn't need to be throttled.

Derrick's path to notoriety began roughly, as the Veterans lost their first mission, which forced them to send a male to face teammate Adam Larson in the Gauntlet, since he was the captain. Derrick got the most votes from the group, setting up the first endgame, which turned out to be Name That Coconut, a cross between a trivia contest and full-contact football. Adam and Derrick wound up tied 3-3, but Derrick won the last two rounds to eliminate Adam (which thrilled me to no end) and assume the male captain's position for the Veterans. The bad news was that Derrick would have to fight for his position when the Vets lost on a male elimination day. In addition to having an episode-long conflict with Brad, the undersized scrapper wound up having to fight in three more Gauntlets, dispatching Ace, Syrus and Brad. The Veterans wound up losing the penultimate mission, and they were unable to decide between David Burns and Timmy to send against Derrick. The captain responded with a dramatic monologue where he straight-up murdered a table. Eventually, Timmy volunteered, and he beat Derrick in Reverse Tug-Of-War, ending his season. Derrick would have similar luck on subsequent seasons (Fresh Meat, The Duel) before joining the Bad Ass team in place of the ejected CT in Inferno 3, scoring his first win. And then he turned into an asshole, hanging out with the "cool kids" while winning on The Island and The Ruins. Pity.

As for Beth? Put it this way . . . had I not been fired by Reality News Online for my increasingly negative recaps in Battle Of The Sexes 2 (brought about by the men curb-stomping the women and Eric Fucking Nies and his stupid jump rope), I would have been booted for my treatment of Beth in Gauntlet 2.. She had been her usual annoying self, but she was spared a date with female captain Ruthie in the Gauntlet when Jisela volunteered (and lost). The Veterans lost two episodes later, and Beth was selected by the team to face off against Ruthie. Host TJ Lavin spun the wheel, and it came up "Challenger's Choice," which let Beth pick Reverse Tug-Of-War for the Gauntlet. Ruthie was strong, but she gave up a lot of weight against Beth, and she wound up succumbing in one of the most painful endgames ever aired. As experienced viewers suspected, she was not a gracious winner, getting snitty with Derrick and Montana.

Two episodes passed. The Veterans lost again, in part due to Beth's lack of performance. Beth wound up getting Montana in the Gauntlet, which was an interesting contrast, given that Montana was an older woman who proved that you didn't have to suck on a regular basis. The wheel came up "Captain's Choice," allowing Beth to pick Reverse Tug-Of-War again. Needless to say, Montana fared no better than Ruthie, as the captain cackled about her position in front of the camera. My final thought on her that week: "She can go fuck herself, because nobody else will." What can I say? She brought out the worst in me. I wasn't alone . . . in one episode, several males had a good laugh at the prospect of one of them having to "bang Beth."

The madness of "Bad Beth and Beyond" (coined by Timmy) last four more episodes, including her underachieving in two missions. After another loss, the Veterans voted in Aneesa to face Beth. This time, the wheel came up Beach Brawl, which was basically a wrestling match with oil thrown in. And Beth . . . wound up taking the coward's way out, opting to quit rather than get beaten in a humiliating manner to Aneesa. While the Veterans would wind up losing the final mission, they managed to unite in their unyielding hatred for Beth. Viewers would have to wait for her to be eliminated in The Duel (by Svetlana) and Gauntlet III (Coral) to satisfy their bloodlust. Thankfully, she has not reared her heinous head since then.

(Note: At this point, my recollection of the show gets hazy. I'm going by vague memories and suggestions from the forums. And Wikipedia, which is the lazy man's best friend.)

Evelyn Smith (The Island)

It may not be obvious, but there are a lot of parallels between Evelyn and Cara Maria. Both debuted on a "Fresh Meat"-themed season. Both were the top picks in their respective drafts, and they both lost in their first Exile. The big difference is that Evelyn would rebound and have success, winning Inferno 3 with the Bad Asses and completing Gauntlet III with the Veterans. With Rachel Robinson appearing less frequently (she would also star on The Island, as well as Battle Of The Exes with Aneesa),  it looked as if Evelyn took her place as BMP's go-to lesbian with an attitude.

The Island was a bizarre season, where three contestants at a time competed for one of four keys to a treasure chest filled with $300,000. The losers would be subject to a vote by the rest of the cast, with the leading vote-getter being booted. Evelyn became a sympathetic character by clashing with Johnny and his clique. After winning the fifth mission, Evelyn called out Johnny, punctuating that with "Fuck you, and fuck your alliance" before taking Johnny's key, which he threw on the ground, making her pick it up. It was glorious to behold. But since this is The Challenge, a show where karma often goes to die, Johnny won the mission in the following episode, and wound up taking the key back from Evelyn.

In the penultimate mission, Evelyn defeated Dan Walsh, Johanna and KellyAnne, guaranteeing herself a shot at the big prize. Given her choice of keyholders, she elected to take hers from Dunbar (who was given a key by a departing Abram) instead of Johnny. TJ Lavin ordered the final eight players to split into two teams of four, and Evelyn . . . threw in with Johnny, Derrick and Kenny (another scumbag who kept getting lucky in Challenges). Selling out rather easily, Evelyn sailed to an easy win over Jenn, Robin, Ryan and Paula (who could not believe her ex-roommate from RW: Key West could throw her under the bus). Needless to say, it was an ugly end to an ugly season.

Chris "CT" Tamburello (Rivals)

To say that CT's Challenge history is checkered is an understatement. He competed for the grand prize in The Inferno and Inferno II, coming up short each time. In The Duel, he kickstarted a romance with Diem before losing the final Duel to Brad. The cast members had barely settled into Inferno 3 before CT was kicked off for drunkenly punching Davis before the first mission. He was on the Veterans team in Gauntlet III that lost because Eric "Big Easy" Banks could not complete the final mission. And he repeated his feat from Inferno 3 in Duel II, getting into a brawl with ex-housemate Adam King (RW: Paris), which led to another dismissal. Obviously, he needed time away from the spotlight, but BMP brought him back as a glorified gladiator in Cutthroat, sent to face Johnny and Tyler in the Gulag. That led to one of the greatest moments in Challenge history: CT utterly humiliating Johnny by carrying him like a backpack. Let's see that again.

Get More: The Challenge (Season 20), Full Episodes

Once it was determined that CT was capable of showing up without killing and devouring everybody, he was cast in the following season, Rivals. He would be reunited with Adam, and he would often try to bury the hatchet with his one-time adversary. While the cynical part of me thinks he might have been playing for the cameras, CT was more fun to watch that the trio I dubbed the "Axis of Ass": Evan (paired with Nehemiah), Johnny (Tyler) and Kenny (Wes). He ran afoul of that clique, but he and Adam managed to win two missions as well as one Jungle, sending Evan & Nehemiah home. In the last Jungle, CT & Adam faced Johnny & Tyler, with a spot in the final mission on the line. They played T-Bone, where they had to move balls from one end of a hall to another. The two halls intersected, which led to collisions. CT tried valiantly to win, often running interference for his partner by slamming violently into his opponents. It was as if he was attempting to cremate Johnny & Tyler without using fire. In the end, Tyler outraced Adam, and CT found himself losing yet another Challenge. Still, he managed to be a good sport about how things shook out, as opposed to the tantrum he threw after his elimination from The Duel.

CT's story has yet to end. He would team up with Diem in Battle Of The Exes and place second behind Johnny & Camila.  Two seasons later, he wound up winning Rivals II, teaming with Wes to defeat the noxious duo of Johnny & Frank. He lasted through most of Free Agents before falling to eventual winner Johnny in the final Elimination. And he reunited with Diem for Battle Of The Exes 2, only for her to succumb to the cancer that would take her life. While CT may not escape his thuggish past, his time on Rivals is proof that an irritating contestant can be redeemed and embraced by the audience as a heroic figure . . . something freakin' Johnny Bananas has yet to do.

Sarah Rice (Battle of the Exes II)

Unlike Sarah Greyson, Sarah Rice was a BMP lifer. Hailing from RW: Brooklyn, Sarah had competed in seven Challenges. She completed three seasons (The Ruins, Cutthroat, Battle of the Seasons), but couldn't get the big win. On two occasions, she was dismissed from the show due to the actions of her partner (Vinny in Battle of the Exes after he exposed Mandi's breasts; Trishelle in Rivals II after she quit the show).

Sarah cut a break in Battle of the Exes II, as she was partnered with Jordan,  whom she had  a showmance with prior to leaving Rivals II. Unlike many of Sarah's past teammates, Jordan was a capable partner, whose only handicap was being born with no fingers on his left hand. He was itching to settle the score with Johnny Bananas, especially after he took him out in Free Agents. Five missions into BOTSII, Johnny and his partner Nany were defeated in the Dome by Leroy & Nia. What the remaining contestants did not know was that eliminated teams were battling it out in the "Battle of the Ex-iled," which was run on MTV.com. Johnny & Nany wound up beating three other ousted pairs before they were revealed to the surviving field, where they beat Zach & Jonna to get back in the game. With their greatest enemy returning, things did not look good for Sarah & Jordan. But they won the last two missions before the finale, and they sent Johnny & Nany back into the Dome. In a bizarre twist, Leroy saw his partner Nia removed for the game for grabbing Jordan's package, but she was replaced by one-time fling Theresa, who had been eliminated with Wes in the previous episode. Amazingly, there was no reaction shown from Sarah, who had been left in the lurch twice in the past.

Fate would smile on Sarah & Jordan. The new Leroy/Theresa team managed to take out Johnny & Nany, earning their way into the final mission. Johnny would whine about being sent to the Dome in The After Show and the reunion special. In the end, Sarah got her first Challenge win alongside Jordan, as Leroy & Theresa finished second, and Jay & Jenna got disqualified for failing to complete a task. It felt like the end of an era for Sarah, as she got married in May 2015. While she has been rumored to be appearing on the next season of The Challenge (Rivals III), Battle of the Exes II would be a fitting finale for her. Well . . . that and this sketch from Robot Chicken:



Aside from Johnny being in the sketch and the lack of tattoos on "Sarah's" arm, I think the show did a good take  on The Challenge.

Why I Watch The Amazing Race

I am a pessimist by nature. It takes a lot for me to see a glass half-full. It's probably why I titled this blog "Closet Optimist" . .  . because, deep down, I want to be positive.

If you're reading this, odds are you were drawn in because this post is about The Amazing Race. It might be hard to believe that a show with thirteen Emmys would need support, but TAR (gotta love the punchy acronym) hangs on a precarious precipice, airing on Friday nights; a timeslot seen as a graveyard for dying programs. And with the recent  demise of two long-running competitive reality shows (America's Next Top Model and American Idol), fans of TAR are a little on edge.

The big news about the upcoming 28th season is that it will consist of eleven pairs of online personalities. While there have been premises that have gone awry (Family Edition, the dating couples format from last year), I'm trying to keep an open mind. If this season succeeds in the ratings, it will be because CBS had tapped into diverse online fanbases. But many see this format as base pandering by the network, and that would-be viewers would be out on Friday nights. Once again . . . I'm trying to be optimistic about things.

What frustrates me is that CBS's other major reality shows are not screwed with much as TAR, Survivor is the jock of the network, often renewed far ahead of time, even though it can suffer from diminishing results and it is a shell of its old self from the series' debut in 2000. Still, CBS gives it a cushy timeslot (Wednesdays at 8), and throws in a reunion show after season finales, where host Jeff Probst (a certified alpha male-sniffer) routinely whitewashes events and ignores those who don't earn his love. On the other side of the spectrum is Big Brother, hosted by Julie Chen, who is married to CBS President/CEO Les Moonves. That show airs during the summer, and frequently showcases the lowest common denominator as far as casting is concerned, often ending up with trainwrecks on par with The Real World and The Challenge. Like Survivor, Big Brother isn't going away anytime soon. When CBS's new president of entertainment Glenn Geller gushed about Survivor and Big Brother and didn't mention TAR once, two emotions stirred inside me: dread and "it figures."

Why am I bothering to write about this? Because I like TAR, having been a regular viewer since the second season. With all due respect to Ringling Bros, I think TAR is the greatest show on Earth. There are many reasons I feel this way, but I can boil it down to three.

1. The Travel Porn

I'm willing to say that I'm not the only person out there who hasn't left North America. It just hasn't happened for me. When I tune into TAR, the show can take you anywhere in the world. For instance, I didn't even know there was a country in Africa called Burkina Faso until TAR12. Even when you subtract the obvious problem areas, we're still dealing with a sizable portion of the world. Sure, there are smatterings of ugly Americanism, and Japan-centered legs often delve into unfortunate stereotypes, but I don't think any other major network show takes advantage of its settings like TAR. On Survivor, locales are often recycled (the 31th and 32nd seasons were filmed in Cambodia; seasons 33 and 34 are to be set in Fiji), and interaction with the locals are limited to reward challenge wins. With TAR, contestants have to interact with the citizenry for guidance. One side effect takes place when Racers bumble in tasks and locals have a good laugh. It never fails to get a chuckle out of me.

2. The Host With The Most

For the life of me, I cannot understand how Jeff Probst won  four Emmys for his "work" on Survivor, while Phil Keoghan has to do without. After finishing runner-up to hosting Survivor, the eyebrow-popping New Zealand native was snapped up by the producers of TAR to host the original program. While Probst often dictates how the story goes on his show, Phil acts as a narrator, giving viewers the lowdown on locations and tasks. Recently, he has been doing this while the game unfolds behind him, adding a unique dimension to the show. In the first season, he only showed up at the end of legs to eliminate last-place teams, but he wound up greeting teams alongside a local. Unlike Probst, I can probably count the number of times Phil has pissed me off with one hand. Also, he seldom has a mean streak. In TAR22, when John ran himself and girlfriend Jessica out of the game (long story), the episode ended with Phil throwing up his arms and exclaiming, "Oy, vey" to the camera. When Phil has fun with contestants, you don't need to shower afterward like with Probst.

3. The Thrill Of Victory, The Agony Of Defeat

With the kinetic nature of TAR, a viewer's adrenaline can spike along with the competitors. This leads to epic highs and lows. One example I can tell you took place last season, centering on the penultimate leg and ex-cheerleaders Tiffany & Krista. Krista was a native of Staten Island like myself, and she didn't behave like a brat through most of her time on the show, so I grew to like her. Anyway . . . Tiffany & Krista had found themselves in a three-team pack ahead of alpha duo Justin & Diana, a team that could be boiled down to "superfan and fiancé/accessory." The Racers took a Roadblock where participants took part in the world's largest water-based stage production, based in Macau. They had to dive 30 feet from a ship mast and find a clue below the surface of the water. Krista took the Roadblock for her team, but she failed to find the clue on her first attempt, while the others were able to move on. Justin & Diana arrived on the scene, but they came too late for the restart of the show, where Krista failed again. Diana took the Roadblock, and she and Krista dove and looked for the clue. Diana found it, Krista didn't. As the lead teams arrived at the Pit Stop, it looked like the final leg was set up. But it turned out Justin & Diana had taken the wrong ferry from Hong Kong to Macau, incurring a 25-minute penalty for the time saved and a separate thirty-minute penalty. Suddenly, there was still hope for Krista. Most fans didn't feel much sympathy for Justin (who had made Diana run a mock race leading to his proposing to her), as he collapsed in tears, unable to grasp that his chance for a storybook finish had slipped through his fingers.

With the penalty counting down, an unknowing Krista got encouragement from Tiffany, and she eventually found the clue. They were still alive. But then came miscommunication with their cabbie, and they arrived at the Pit Stop behind Justin & Diana, resulting in their elimination. The only bright side from the ensuing finale was that Justin & Diana failed to win the final leg, finishing second to Kelsey & Joey. While you can find better examples of suspense (Chris & Alex rallying past Tara & Wil in to win TAR2), despair (teams passing Lena on the hay bale Roadblock in TAR6) and humor (Claire taking a watermelon to the face in TAR17), Krista's struggles, triumph and eventual elimination sticks out in my mind.

If you're reading this, you're probably a fan of one of the new teams, and you're looking for reasons to watch the show. I hope that I was able to persuade you to tune in to The Amazing Race in the weeks to come. In all likelihood, you will be as hooked to it as me.

Thanks to Nicole Rivera and John Seavey for their feedback. You can read John's recaps of The Amazing Race on mightygodking.com..

Lapsed: Confessions of a Mets Fan

I’m a Mets fan.

Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. Anytime I express my allegiance when baseball is concerned, I’d say that I’m a “lapsed” Mets fan. I used to see the team just about all the time. My family had season tickets for a number of years, covering three seats on Sundays in the loge section at Shea Stadium. These days, it’s a challenge to get one ticket to a game at Citi Field, what with the fees and prices for seats, food, etc.

I would present myself as a “lapsed” fan because I couldn’t imagine supporting any other team, yet I wasn’t fully on the Mets’ side. I’ve grown to hate Yankees fans, a group I imagine to be one-third bandwagon hoppers, coasting on the team’s 27 World Series titles. Personally, I only count the championships won in my lifetime. That way, the Yankees are merely up 7-2 on the Mets, and that’s less daunting than 27-2. Also, the Yankees have been playing since 1903, so they had a healthy headstart on the Mets by six decades.

I also consider myself “lapsed” because I couldn’t pick out most of the Mets out individually. Sure, identifying Bartolo Colon – the team’s husky fortysomething pitcher -- would be a breeze, as would singling out the magnificent hair of Jacob deGrom and Noah “Thor” Syndergaard.  But ask me to point out David Wright, the guy who signed a long-term deal with the club because he wanted to win as a Met? I don’t think I could identify him. Pitching wunderkind Matt Harvey? No dice. In the last decade and a half, I’ve burned more brain cells remembering stuff like names and faces of reality show contestants. As the Mets stopped being a “must see” team, they didn’t become a priority for me. I went to two games at Citi Field when it first opened (one of which I wrote about), then it took me six years to get back.

Like most fans of moribund franchises, I tended to identify more with the Mets’ past. In particular, the time between when I first started following the team (1983, at age 7) and the 1990 squad. From 1984-1990, the Mets had the best record in the majors. I went from seeing a perennial cellar dweller to watching a team that managed to contend deep into the season. Keith Hernandez, Darryl Strawberry, Ron Darling, Dwight Gooden (aka “Dr. K”), Gary Carter . . . those were salad days for many Mets fans. The team peaked in 1986, when they ran away with the National League East crown with a 108-54 record, winning two-thirds of their games. They wound up beating the Houston Astros in a fiery six-game National League Championship Series, climaxing with a 16-inning Game 6. After that came the World Series against the Boston Red Sox, where they rallied from a two-game deficit to force the Series back to Shea. With the team down 3-2 in Game 6, and trailing Boston 5-3 in the tenth inning, I couldn’t bear the watch my team lose. What do you want from me? I was ten years old. I wound up missing the Mets tying the game in the bottom of the tenth through three singles (Gary Carter, Kevin Mitchell, Ray Knight) and a wild pitch. I did get to see Mookie Wilson roll a ground ball that scooted under the glove of Bill Buckner. It was way past my bedtime that Saturday night, but I didn’t care. The Mets wound up winning the World Series two nights later. To say I was thrilled was an understatement.

As I grew older, I figured that 1986 might have been a bit of a fluke. At the time, I didn’t know about “The Curse of the Bambino” that brought nothing but bad luck for the Red Sox and their fans prior to 2004. I figured that the Mets were jinxed . . . not in the way that the Cubs and Indians disappointed their rooters, but cursed just the same. In my head, the Mets’ first title in 1969 came in a year where anything could happen; where man could walk on the moon, a cocky quarterback from an upstart league could win a Super Bowl, and a franchise that couldn’t win more than 73 games in a season could win 100, sweep the inaugural NLCS (which nobody talks about), and beat the Baltimore Orioles (109 wins) in five games. 1986? The Red Sox and their fans hadn’t suffered enough. To me, the Mets were a hard luck franchise that puttered out at the worst moments:

• 1973: The Mets managed an 82-79 season, which is still the weakest record of a World Series-bound team. Look below the surface, and you’ll see a team suffering from bad luck and injuries, rallied by relief pitcher Tug McGraw’s war cry of “You Gotta Believe!” The Mets wound up clinching the NL East on the last day of the season, took it to the limit against the Cincinnati Reds, and came within one game of beating the powerhouse Oakland Athletics because succumbing in seven games.

• 1988: See 1986, minus eight wins. Also, the Mets hit a speed bump in a Los Angeles Dodgers team that wouldn’t go down without a fight in the NLCS. The Mets led two games to one and were within striking distance of going to 3-1. Instead, the Dodgers went to Los Angeles with a 3-2 lead, and they wound up winning the series in seven games, en route to a five-game World Series victory over the A’s.
• 1999: This was a wild year for the Mets. They forced a tie for the wild card with the Red by beating the Pirates on the last day of the season at Shea. The next day, Al Leiter pitched a two-hit shutout in Cincinnati, clinching the wild card berth. The day after that, they went to Arizona, where Edgardo Alfonzo’s grand slam led to an 8-4 in Game 1 of the National League Division Series.  Three days, three games, three cities, three victories. The Mets took out the Diamondbacks in four games, only to fall behind 3-0 to the Atlanta Braves (one of whom I’ve said my piece about). The Mets hung tough, forcing a Game 6 in Atlanta, thanks to Robin Ventura’s “grand single” in Game 5, but the Braves wound up winning that game and the series because Kenny Friggin’ Rogers (no, the other one) couldn’t find the strike zone, walking in the decisive run.
• 2000: The Mets got the wild card once again, and they wound up beating the Giants (in four games) and Cardinals (in five) to advance to the World Series. Unfortunately, they had to face the Yankees in the first postseason “Subway Series” since 1956. The Yankees wound up winning their 26^th title, 4-1.
• 2006: I barely remember this year. I don’t recall the Mets having the best record in the National League, nor can I recollect on their sweep of the Dodgers in the NLDS. All I can remember is Game 7 of the NLCS against the Cardinals, where Yadier Molina homered in the top of the ninth inning to give the Cardinals a 3-1 lead. He had six during the regular season. In the bottom of the inning, the Mets rallied, loading the bases for Carlos Beltrán. He wound up looking at a third strike, which knocked the Mets out of the playoffs.

There are so many other indicators that the Mets are a star-crossed team. Dwight Gooden’s drug use, Daryl Strawberry’s off-field issues, the freak hedge clipper accident that almost ended the career of Bob Ojeda in 1988, the epic collapses in 2007 and 2008 which knocked them out of postseason contention, the latter taking place as the last game at Shea was being played  . . . I could go on. And the team’s legacy pales to that of the Yankees, a franchise with twenty retired uniform numbers. By comparison, the Mets have retired three . .  . and none of them were as euphoric as your typical Yankees’ ceremony. Manager Casey Stengel (37) broke his hip in 1965; Gil Hodges (14) dropped dead of a heart attack in 1972 and had his number retired the following year; and Tom Seaver (41) call it quits in 1987 after a third stint as a Met was aborted following a simulated game.

You might ask: How am I handling the Mets’ sudden success? With trepidation. I still remember the last-day-of-the-season crashes from 2007 and 2008. Even with the Mets up 7 ½ games on the Washington Nationals (as I write this), I don’t feel that things will be cut and dried until the season is over and the Mets going into the playoffs for the first time in nine years. If they advance, they would have to face a Dodgers rotation anchored by Zack Greinke and Clayton Kershaw. Beyond that would be a team from the National League Central that will have a better record than the Mets; either the Cardinals, Cubs or Pirates. And if they make it to the World Series (fingers crossed, knock on wood, etc.), they would have to start things on the road (stupid “All-Star Game Means Something”). They could face Toronto and R.A. Dickey, the Cy Young Award winner they cut loose after 2012. Or maybe they’d face the surprisingly good Astros in a rematch of the 1986 NLCS. Or maybe a second Subway Series with the Yankees. So many possibilities. .  . but I try to keep a level head.

I wound up going to Citi Field before the Mets exploded. The team seemed dead in the water, losing to the lowly Marlins. Since then, they’ve found their stride, and I find myself gawking at their highlights. Like Wilmer Flores hitting a walk-off homer days after almost being traded. And Stephen Matz debuting at Citi Field, drawing awe with his arm and bat. And Bartolo Colon’s various feats on the mound and at the plate. And Yoenis Cespedes, who is one great October away from Mets sainthood. For a team that might be jinxed, everything seems to be going right. I wound up getting a ticket to the team’s final game of the season, because I wanted to see the team at their best (that, and the 3 p.m. start time means I don’t have to get out of bed right away). Maybe I should remove the word “lapsed” from my identity.

Scattered Thoughts On The Amazing Race

(Warning: crap-ton of YouTube links to come. Hopefully, they'll stay intact in the time to come. Also, I've writing all this off the top of my head, so coherency might be an issue. My apologies in advance.)

I suppose that in order to talk about the twenty-fifth season of The Amazing Race, you have to start with the epilogue. After basking in one of the more unpredictable seasons in recent memory, viewers of the long-running show had this to look forward to:



Talk about letdowns. FIVE "blind date" teams? ALL "dating couples"? It forces fans to embrace TAR25 that much harder, as TAR26 could be either a dud waiting to happen (at best) or the beginning of the end of the critically-acclaimed series (at worst).

The "silver anniversary" season was worth celebrating. It featured one of the most talented teams in the show's history (dentists Misti & Jim, winners of five legs), another pair that redefined "calm" ("Soul Surfers" Adam & Bethany . . . yes, the Bethany Hamilton who lost her left arm to a shark over a decade ago), and a duo (Brooklyn cyclists Kym & Alli) whose elimination will lead to an inevitable berth in the next "All Star" or "Unfinished Business" season. Add to that mix Brooke & Robbie (wrestlers who were the show's villains at their worst), and the unlikely "Sweet Scientists" Amy & Maya, and you had the makings of one heckuva season.

Sure, the show had its downsides. For one, Brooke whined her way throughout the race, coming off like Flo from the third season, only with more muscles. Jim's refusal to blink in interview segments was distracting. And newlyweds Adam & Bethany were too perfect at times; their faith in each other and God was stronger than anything I might have. Also, the "Switchback" task of herding an ox to find a clue couldn't match the insanity from the fifth season, as seen here (start at the 1:36 mark):



So what went right? Well, Amy & Maya proved to be the ultimate underdogs, even as their 4.50 leg placement average approached that of TAR21 winners Josh & Brent. Kym & Alli sought out fun wherever they went, from dancing outside a pub to making fun of the Dentists (as seen here). Yet another stuntcasted couple from Survivor went out early, as Keith & Whitney went out after five legs, while TAR alumnus Natalie Anderson wound up winning Survivor: San Juan del Sur (avenging her fallen "Twinnie" Nadiya, who was voted out first in the "Blood Vs. Water"-themed season.) Most notably, the more dramatic teams were sent packing before the Race heated up . . . particularly Miami realtors Lisa & Michelle, who swiped a pen out one of the Firefighters' hands (as seen here) at a sign-up board; and the combustible mother/daughter pair of Shelley & Nici, with the latter having a Pit Stop meltdown and the former getting into a verbal fight with Keith. Also: there was the "cupping" Detour option, which may have scared Amy & Maya off massages for life. Warning: hysterical pain, pixilation and unflattering camera angles ahead . . .


(and the clip doesn't include the skin scrapping or application of heated cups on their backs)

What was the turning point? That's easy . . . Kym & Alli electing to go to a surf-based Fast Forward, a task seemingly made for Adam & Bethany. The Cyclists were forced to go back to the regular route, and they were eliminated. If they stuck to the route, they probably would have beaten the Scientists to the Pit Stop, eliminating Amy & Maya. Instead, the Scientists wound up clinging for life, eventually winning the final leg and earning $1 million. Oh, and Maya mounted host Phil Keoghan like a koala bear on a tree (skip to 0:44 for that) . . .



Granted, they were bailed out by a non-elimination leg in the season's penultimate episode, forcing four teams into the final leg for the first time . . . in retrospect, this was a bigger bailout than Flo & Zach surviving the first consecutive non-elimination leg way back in TAR3. After Brooke & Robbie (who finished in first heading into the final leg heading to Los Angeles) were eliminated, it came down to a three-way showdown between Amy, Bethany and Misti at the final Roadblock. Eventually, it was a gimpy Amy that deciphered the clues correctly, allowing her and Maya to advance for the win, their only victory in a leg throughout the season, a feat that had been pulled off three other times in the show's history. I will admit it . . . I never expected the Scientists to win. Worse, my mother told me that they could win, and she will never let me hear the end of it. Still, it was an impressive win. It's a pity that we might not have an impressive TAR26 to build upon such good feelings.

 

PS: As long as I got TAR on the brain, I might as well post a picture of me with the Twinnies from TARCon 21 two years ago. This was the first time I would get to meet a Survivor champion, past or future. Natalie is the one on the right . . . I think. I have them marked in my album from that TARCon, but I can never remember which "Twinnie" has the nose stud and which has the nose ring.

 

PPS: (1/13/15) Naturally, CBS pulled the last two videos I posted. However, I did screencap the bit with Maya jumping into Phil's arms, and I offer that moment as proof on how manic she was:

 



Regarding Diem: A Letter To Bunim-Murray Productions

The following is a letter I sent to Bunim-Murray Productions, the company behind The Real World and The Challenge. I found the company's contact information, and I sent this message to them. Feel free to write your own letter to their attention.

To Whom It May Concern,

I am not sure whom at Bunim-Murray Productions will be reading this. To be honest, I am hoping to get the attention of Jonathan Murray with this letter. As the title indicates, this is in regard to the late Diem Brown.

I know that Battle Of The Exes 2 will be broadcast no matter what. I know that Diem was cast for it, partnered with her on-again/off-again boyfriend, Chris "CT" Tamburello. And I understand that her cancer relapsed in the first competition of the show. What I'm asking is for the footage to be cut out of the finished product. I'm betting that there is a lot of speculation as to whether or not to show them. The way I see it, we're supposed to be thinking about how Diem lived, as opposed to when things started turning against her for the final time. To see her in pain would negate the vibe of the upcoming special -- "We [Heart] Diem" -- that is slated to air on December 9 on MTV.

If I'm speaking honestly, I have a suspicion that Diem's downfall would be broadcast. I feel that Bunim-Murray Productions will not be satisfied unless somebody passes away on camera. I know . . . it's a horrible thought, but it would explain so much. It would make sense to think about that when you cast a person with a compromised immune system on the same show as someone who looked to ooze twelve diseases at any given time (not to mention his ugly disposition), which is what happened twenty years ago on The Real World: San Francisco. It would explain why Frankie Abernathy (cystic fibrosis) was veered towards RW: San Diego and away from Starting Over, with the idea that she could be cast on The Challenge. Had Andrew died after getting knocked over by Ty in RW: D.C., would you have closed up shop for good? And why else would you have drama cases and Section 8s on the show along with a near-infinite supply of alcohol, if not to increase the likelihood of a fatality? Once again. . . I know it's horrible to contemplate, but I never think about stuff like that happening on, say, Survivor. And that's unusual, given that particular program's use of machetes and volatile cast members.

Do me a favor. Do the audience a favor. Do Diem's friends and family a favor. Do not show her and CT on their final Challenge. I know that ousted cast members have been whitewashed from at least one Challenge (Piggy in The Inferno), and I'm sure that even with a sudden mood change, you can make the "story" work. And while I'm at it: end The Real World and The Challenge for good. The Ex-Plosion and Skeletons seasons show a mawkish lurching towards relevancy, and I feel these "twists" do more harm than good. Also, I feel that "regular" cast members like Arielle would be rejected for future exposure to The Challenge. As far as that show is concerned, I feel that the debauchery you seem to love might be muted in future editions in the wake of Diem's passing, given how no repeat Challenger has ever died before (I know about Michelle Parma, but she just did Extreme Challenge). Also, I've come to regard some cast members (particularly the loathsome "Johnny Bananas") as human beings in the past week, and that might be a sign that it's time to pack it in.

Thanks for your time in reading this. I hope to get a response from BMP in the near future. and I hope that you agree with my options for your franchises.

Sincerely,
Jason Borelli

PS: Full disclosure . . . I did send an audition tape for RW: Back to New York, but the preceding letter is not out of bitterness. As somebody who lived near Manhattan at the time and went to school there, I understand the odds of me joining the likes of Coral Smith and Mike Mizanin were very slim at best.

Adventures @ NYCC 2014: Day Four

I had a good day bookended by bad experiences. This morning, I drove to the bus stop, reached into my pocket, and realized I left my Metrocard at home. So I decided to go to the local rail . . . but then I bought a new Metrocard for $20, so I walked back to the bus stop.

After about three hours, I decided to go home. Along with my badge, I had also received a New York Super Card. This is a card that entitles one to a number of discounts, along with other amenities. I decide to walk a long way to a theme restaurant because I thought I'd get a discount.

They didn't have a discount.

Okay, so I know of a place that does accept the Super Card. Problem is, I don't know where it is. I call information, walk, then call 411 again because I forget things. I wind up walk nine blocks and change, but I finally found it.

The place is empty. There's, like, two people there, and neither one notices me.

Shit. So I wind up going to a restaurant where I pay over $20 for a small burger and sweet potato fries. With no discount. And I didn't need the damn fries. But at least I was able to get home.

Parade on Fifth Avenue.

Damn. I ended up walking nine blocks to the bus stop. All in all, it was an exhausting day. I logged in 18,560 steps, tops for the weekend. But you know what? I'm okay. There was little ennui to be had. I managed to have a fun weekend. Sure, I didn't get to do everything I wanted, but I met some familiar faces, got twelve sketches, and I had fun doing it. I'm going to need a few days to decompress, but I don't have to deal with many regrets. All in all, it was a fun four days.

Adventures @ NYCC 2014: Day Three

I had a good day. Logged in 14,860 steps, but I wasn't in much pain. Once again, I had to bail out early to get home at a decent hour. That meant missing another Adult Swim panel block, with Black Dynamite (a favorite cartoon of mine), The Heart She Holler, and Mike Tyson Mysteries (no, for real). I wanted to see it, but it took place at a time where it would let out around 7:30. No dice on that.

I wound up getting three new sketches, making in ten in three days. I spent $40 on an Abin Sur sketch from Dean Kotz, who drew a miniseries I read avidly, Krampus. I've been good about not going overboard with money . . . a little better than Fan Expo in Toronto. I'm going to fall short of my four-day record -- twenty in Comic-Con International 2009 -- but I don't care. One day, I'll have disposable income to spend on the bigger names, but I'm happy with what I get now.

The highlight for me today? Well, first I went to a panel on Disney's Infinity game. When the panel asked for questions, damn near everybody stormed to the back to grab collectable figures that you can play in the game. It was unbelievable to see a horde swarm for the swag. Yes, I was in there, and I got a Rocket Raccoon, but I wasn't hellbent on it.

Then came a panel for DC Comics' "Champions Of Justice." One thing about DC panels is that they give out swag for good questions. And I wanted to get something. Last year, I got a lenticular-covered copy of Forever Evil #1 for wondering how the Court of Owls could breathe in their mouthless masks. It took me a while to formulate something. I managed to get into one of the lines to speak. I saw others walk off with neat stuff. My question: What books would you like to see in a "rub and sniff" format? My question was the last one of the panel. What did I get?

A cape.

Yes . . . a cape. To commemorate Batman's 75th anniversary. I would've wanted another limited release issue or something flashy. But a cape? Oh, well. It was free, and I might wear it on Halloween while greeting trick-or-treaters. It depends on how I feel.

I have one more day. Happily, the ennui that hammered me in Toronto isn't affecting me as bad. I hope that I can last through Sunday without suffering from boredom.

Adventures @ NYCC 2014: Day Two

Well, I had less fun today. A lot of it was timing . . . I gave my sketchbook to an artist, and he didn't come to Artist Alley until 1 p.m. For me, that meant a lot of wandering, killing time until he returned. I picked up a few odds and ends, but I kept looking at my phone, waiting for a call. Not a lot of fun, to be honest.

Also, there was the issue of timing. I had to bail out early because I wanted to get back home by 8, which I did. Problem was, I had to ignore the big-ticket panels, including Agents Of SHIELD and Archer, the latter panel I managed to get to last year. I think it would let out around 8:30, and it would take me forever to get back home. And it turned out that they handed out wristbands far ahead of time, so I would've been shut out anyway.

I did get to spend a few hours basking in Adult Swim goodness . . . they showcased Rick & Morty, Robot Chicken, and a show featuring Jack McBrayer and Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog. I am dead serious. It turns out that Jack and Robert Smiegel (Triumph's creator) have good chemistry together. Look at this clip from Conan which was screened at the panel:



Nice, right? Anyway, the plot has the pair being ex-stars from a Lassie-type show, reunited in California (even though the show is filmed in New York City). To add to the surreal atmosphere, the panel was moderated by Alan Colmes, best know as Sean Hannity's former punching bag.

The other panels (or is it the rest of the uber-panel?) was interesting. Rick and Morty is gearing up for its second season as caustically funny as the first. And I got to see the brains behind Robot Chicken for at least the third year in a row. It was pretty fun with the silly hats and occasional clips. Turns out they'll be doing another Christmas special, titled The Robot Chicken Lots Of Holidays But Don't Worry Christmas Is Still There Too So Pull The Stick Out Of Your Ass Fox News. For real. They were giving away trips to a nearby boat for the best questions. I got to the line too late . .  . I have no sense for those shorts of moments. I was going to ask what the darkest sketch in the history of the show was. The premise comes from this bit from the opening season:



Dark, right? I have a few ideas of what could supplant that, but I didn't get to the microphone in time. Oh, well . . . there's always e-mail.

Aside from the waiting and the panel, I didn't do much. I wound up going to a panel for Vertigo Comics, where I found that Gail Simone was going to be writing a book -- Clean Room -- where she shows off her dark side. Well . . . her darker side. And I got to thank Kurt Busiek for a great story in his creator-owned Vertigo book, Astro City.

Getting home was a hassle. First, I boarded a shuttle bus that was slowed by New York traffic. I took it to Penn Station, where I boarded an express train. I was going to switch to the local to get to the ferry station, but I didn't see any other trains running. At this point, I just wanted to get home, so I wound up taking an express bus to Staten Island, where I walked out of my way to get to my car. My pedometer reached 17,974. Judging from the blisters on my toes, I can believe it.

I have two more days. I'm sure I can make the best of them to have a good weekend.

Adventures @ NYCC 2014: Day One

After feeling not my very best in Toronto, I'm trying to rebound by having a good time at New York Comic Con. This is my ninth time going to NYCC, which is based on the west side of Manhattan. To me, it's too close to home to consider not going. And like Comic-Con International in San Diego, the convention has gotten bigger over time. The organizers wound up throwing a smaller con at the Javits Center -- Special Edition NYC -- several months ago. I wound up spending my first hour there waiting on line to getting my NYCC admission. Not the sign of a sane person, but here I am.

So far, I've been having fun. I wound up taking 14,565 steps, a lot of that was from walking from Sixth Avenue all the way to the Javits Center. I could have taken a shuttle, but I wanted to get off to a healthy start. The convention isn't as spread out as Fan Expo Canada . . . there are three levels of action to be had. The main floor is located upstairs, the ground floor features Artist Alley, and the lower level hosts panels. Once you get the hang of the basics, you're home free. You just have to give yourself enough time for the panels.

THE GOOD: I wound up hitting one panel, on Doctor Who in comic books. It was pretty good. I indulged my Titan blind box habit, winding up with a 1-in-40 figure of Peter Capaldi as the Twelfth Doctor. I also got five sketches, which might be a first-day record for me. This time, I'm trying to save my money, so I'm hitting the DC Comics area at Artist Alley for freebies. I also got to meet Gail Simone for the first time since Special Edition. I wound up getting my copy of Batgirl: Future's End autographed . . .

THE BAD: . . . which I ended up losing, because I was using the issue as a reference for a sketch. I think it fell out of my sketchbook. I'll have to check Lost & Found tomorrow, but I'm resigned to getting another copy. Also, I didn't get a freebie sketch from a famed artist. No big deal . . . I wasted a little time, but I knew the odds of me getting something from him were pretty slim.

Things should pick up tomorrow. I won't stay out too long . . . The Amazing Race will be on at 8 p.m., and I want to catch it "live," even thought I'll be DVRing it.

The Amazing Crisis

I spent part of tonight watching CBS. Not because I give a crap about The Good Wife or CSI, but because I was looking for commercials for The Amazing Race. I didn't find any. I don't think CBS is trying to screw TAR fans like ABC did to The Mole, but I can't help but to be a little distressed.

For a long time, TAR used to be on Sunday nights at 8 p.m. Actually, it was scheduled for 8, but it would usually air later thanks to overrun, usually from the NFL. Football would run past 7, and CBS would run 60 Minutes afterward. It wasn't like I was expecting the network to shorten or to pre-empt their prestigious news program, and it's not like CBS can shut down the NFL at the stroke of 7 (see: "The Heidi Game"). That was frustrating for me, especially when I'd go to TARCon (a fan-hosted finale party) and I wanted to record the episode while I was out. One time, it was 7 p.m., and the Packers were wailing on the Raiders, 51-3. I don't remember if that was the final score, but it was the score going into the fourth quarter when it was 7 o'clock.

Well, CBS decided to fix that, by shifting the show to Friday nights. The good news: no more NFL overrun. Bad news: a lot of people figured it was a move for a show that was about to die. I figured that there might be a ratings hit. It was a hit, all right . . . more of an open-field tackle. The first episode of the season finished a dismal second, behind ABC's Shark Tank. The only solace was that it outdid Utopia, Fox's freakshow of mental patients trying to build a society. Reading about that show, I actually look forward to the next season of The Real World, because you only see young adults act like assholes, as opposed to the Utopiots of all ages.

I try not to be an alarmist, but it is enough for me to write this entry. I've been watching the show since the second season in 2002. There have been times where I worried about the show's future, even in the (retrospectively) safety of Sunday nights. I know that nobody really reads this blog save for friends and friends-of-friends. But I don't know what else to do aside from yelling into the abyss of the blogosphere. Why don't I want The Amazing Race to die after 25 seasons? In no particular order:

1. Quality Travel Porn

I'm 38 years old, and I haven't been outside of North America yet. Watching TAR, I get to see the world. For instance, I didn't know about the African country of Burkina Faso until the show visited it. You get to see everything from landmarks to out-of-the-way places. And, more importantly, there's a good chance you get to see locals laugh at Racers as they struggle while performing tasks. Sometimes, the Racers don't deserve it, but it's still fun to watch.

2. Phil Keoghan Is Still The Man

Twenty-five seasons and thirteen years into TAR, the host is still worth watching. Unlike Jeff Probst over on Survivor, Phil doesn't get off on misery and the fumes of alpha males. Remember the times Probst was hugged? Those are few and far between. Phil can hold his own, whether he's providing narration before the credits, explaining tasks, or greeting teams at the end of each leg. For instance, he quipped about the shiny teeth of Missy & Jim (the orthodontists) to the local greeter. And I can count the times Phil has pissed me off on one hand. On the other hand, Probst manages to irritate at each once per episode. And he's the one with multiple Emmy awards. Meanwhile, Phil hasn't been nominated for Best Host in the past few years. Sometimes, life is unfair.

3. I Might Have Missed My Chance To See It

Let me explain: In May, CBS announced that the latest season of TAR would launch from Times Square in New York. That would have been a relatively short drive from my home on Staten Island. Worst case, it would take about an hour and change to get there through mass transit. The problem? It was 3 a.m.

I couldn't do it. Sure, New York is a lot safer than it used to be, but I didn't want to take any chances. Looking at the first episode, I probably wouldn't have been as nervous had I gone. There were lots of people there, as well as a few ex-Racers. In fact, one of them was Frank Mesa, who had finished second with his estranged wife Margarita in the show's first season. If you go to the 2:15 mark of the video below, you can see him telling teams where to find the finish line of TAR1: at Flushing Meadow Park. Given that the show starts and ends in the United States, and I don't get around, the odds of me seeing the show up close and personal are pretty slim. Well, there was Family Edition, but oaths were taken never to bring that up, even with the happy ending.




4. Anybody Can Run The Race

This season, the promotion people at CBS has flogged us with the show's inclusion of Bethany Hamilton. I don't follow pro surfing, but I know about the girl who lost her arm to a shark. You probably saw the commercials as well, as she was featured front and center for TAR, even more so than John Fucking Rocker was for the current season of Survivor.

I write for a magazine that's geared towards the disabled community. One of TAR's greatest strengths is casting people who might not have made the cut on other shows due to their shortcomings. For instance, Bethany is the third handicapped athlete to compete on the show, after Sarah Reinertsen (TAR10) and Amy Purdy (TAR21). You might have heard of Amy . . . she lost two legs to spinal meningitis, and she would later compete on Dancing With The Stars last spring, finishing second overall. Three contestants have multiple tours of duty on TAR while being disabled: Charla Faddoul (dwarfism), Luke Adams (deaf), and Zev Glassenberg (Asperger's Syndrome). If you consider having cancer to be a disability (like my editor does), then we had our first winners last season in father/son survivors Dave & Connor O'Leary. The contestants are rarely coddled, and most of the aforementioned Racers have managed to hold their own . . .  particularly Charla, who competed with Mirna, her total pill of a cousin.

5. Karma Might Be In Effect This Season

Usually, the team that goes off first is one you would want to start. This season, it was Lisa & Michelle, sisters/realtors from Miami. They came across as inoffensive in their preseason introduction video, but they were elevated to villain status during the first leg, when one of them ripped a pen from the hands of one of the Boston-based firefighters (Michael & Scott), when one of them was trying to sign up for a seaplane flight in St. Thomas. Eventually, Lisa struggled in a treasure chest-hunting Roadblock, when she was unable to use her compass correctly. She and Michelle eventually took a penalty along with two other teams . . . including the firefighters. And happily, they were beat out to the finish by Michael & Scott and Keith & Whitney (aka "Team Nashville"; a pair who met and fell in love while playing Survivor). So far, there hasn't been a team that has officially bugged its way out of our hearts (though Jim does seem a little intense), but there is one less noisome pair to get irritated about.

It's getting late, so I'll stop here. Please watch and support The Amazing Race. Don't judge it harshly for being a reality show, or because of how obnoxious one set of alumni (Nadiya & Natalie Anderson, aka the "Twinnies") act on the current season of Survivor (Nadiya was the first person voted off). If you go out on Friday nights, record the show. Hopefully, you'll fall for the show like I did all those years ago, and you won't look back.

Survivor: Off The Rocker

I want to tell the story about a real pain in my ass from my past. For his sake, I'm calling him Bob. Bob was a recapper on Reality News Online around the same time I was. I don't remember meeting him, but he remains one of the biggest assholes I had ever gotten to know.

Now, I will admit, I am a negative person. It probably can be helped, but I don't do much with it. I was also a wannabe when it came to Television Without Pity, whose recappers I admired and envied at the time, much to the dismay of fellow RNO writers. Still, a lot of the time I felt like I was the only person who was sane, as my opinions were attacked by other recappers on the site. And Bob was right there, getting his licks in. He wasn't so much a bully as he was a toady; somebody who would kick an unconscious man after the main bullies did their thing. After I was booted from the site, he took over my Real World/Road Rules Challenge beat. The first thing he did: disrespected my writing style and made fun of my penchant for looking up last names of contestants. Bob was a real piece of work. When I went to TARCon afterward, I had to explain to people how he got the assignment, because I had fans who knew my work was superior, albeit negative and time-consuming.

Why am I talking about him? Well, back when we were on good terms (or while I was faking it), Bob claimed that he had made headway in the Survivor application process. I can believe it . . . after all, I have tried to get on The Mole with little success. I don't doubt that he caught the eye of a casting director. What bothers me is the notion that he would make it on a reality show . . . because I would feel compelled to rip on Bob every chance I got, purely out of spite. Even if he got on a show like Big Brother, which I don't watch, I'd tell people about my experiences with Bob, and how I felt he did me wrong. Even if nobody would listen, I'd still shout at the top of my (figurative) lungs about what a piece of garbage Bob was, even if the producers would gloss over it in the show's final cut. I don't know what would bother me more . . . Bob being on television on a regular basis, or Bob getting a shot at a six or seven-figure payday. Either one would hurt my soul.

Now . . . I haven't met John Rocker, either, but I know of him. While I consider myself a "lapsed" Mets fan, the fact is that I still remember 1999. I remember how the Mets couldn't get one up over the Atlanta Braves. I remember Larry "Chipper" Jones talking about how Mets fans would put on Yankees merch when their team was no longer in contention, clearly not understanding the differences between Mets and Yankees fans. It hurt that Chipper would hit, like, .400 every time he came to Shea Stadium. And I still hate Kenny Rogers for walking in the series-winning run for the Braves in Game 6 of the National League Championship Series.

John Rocker was in a class by himself. I have perspective about what it means to be a real Public Enemy of New York City .  . . but back in 1999, the standards were different. All Rocker had to do was say some dumb bullshit about the prospect of pitching in New York, like so:

"I'd retire first. It's the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you're riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing... The biggest thing I don't like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?"

Real charmer, right? He was immediately placed on a pedestal as the worst of the worst in New York . . . worse than Chipper, worse than manager Bobby Cox, who would go on to bring in a pitcher named "Bong" as a pinch-hitter against New York after a Met got into some drug possession trouble. I remember the Mets going down three games to none against the Braves before mounting a comeback. I recall Rocker coming into the game and getting roughed up . . . and as he returned to the dugout afterward, he gestured to the jeering Mets faithful that his team was still up 3-0. The Mets wound up narrowing the gap to 3-2, and they managed to keep things interesting in Game 6, but the Braves prevailed thanks to Kenny Rogers being unable to find the strike zone. Even as a lapsed fan, I'm still bitter . . . especially when NBC decided it would be a good idea to have Rocker interviewed after the game. As if Mets fans weren't butt-hurt enough.

Rocker pitched in relief for seven years, playing for the Braves, Indians, Rangers and Devil Rays. He complied a 13-22 record with 3.42 ERA and 88 saves. He was also implicated in a steroid ring in 2007, admitting that he used the PEDs four years later. To save on droning about how his comments on New Yorkers wasn't an isolated incident, I'm just going to link to his Wikipedia page. Judge for yourself.

When I was in Toronto, I found out that John Rocker would be on Survivor: San Juan del Sur -- Blood Vs. Water, along with his girlfriend, Julie McGee. Putting aside what sort of woman would allow herself to love Rocker, you'd have to wonder why executive producer Mark Burnett would want the bum to be competing for a million bucks. Part of it is because Survivor has been home to athletes . . . most recently Jeff Kent. But even with his right-leaning politics, I still liked Kent, mostly because he probably contemplated taking a baseball bat to the bloated head of ex-teammate Barry Bonds . . . and who wouldn't root for a guy like that? But the biggest reason came from a fellow poster over on Previously.TV (my home after TWoP's forums went under) who called Rocker "the Russell Hantz of MLB!" I don't think that's a fair comparison. For one thing, I don't think Russell was a racist, so much as he probably had a deep contempt for everybody he met regardless of race, creed, color, etc. But I do agree that with Russell's best days behind him, and Burnett shying away from the Hantz family tree after Russell's nephew Brandon lost his mind in two tours of duty, a polarizing figure was needed for an increasingly irrelevant show.

John Rocker is a rectal wart of a human being. I can't see him as a redemption story. As long as he's on the show, I don't want to hear shit about anybody else . . . up to and including the two-time contestants of The Amazing Race, Nadiya and Natalie Anderson. I know, they're shrill, loud, and they once took $100 another team dropped and didn't return it . . . but damn it, they're still considered human beings. And unless somebody else from the show fills the villain role, I can't see Rocker as anything less than the bad guy you have to root against. We're talking Richard Hatch levels of hatred involved. Or Russell Hantz. Or Colton fucking Cumbie. And I'll be rooting for him to fail on every level of the game, not unlike Crystal Cox of the Gabon season (another athlete you can read about here). What I want is for everybody to root against Rocker, not just New Yorkers with long memories. I'd even want him to get booed at the subsequent reunion special, even if it takes away from people whose only crime was not being interesting in the fickle eyes of Jeff Probst. Bottom line: John Rocker can go fuck himself.

And so can Bob.

Adventures in Toronto 2014: Day Six

It's over. I'm back home, and I'm happy. So is Mom. I don't think anybody should be that happy to be on Staten Island, but here we are.

For me, it'll be back to the grind of looking for ongoing work, as well as trying to write on a regular basis. Toronto was a nice diversion, but I need to adjust my focus. That, and get a haircut. My head feels more bushy than usual, and I need to fix that.

As for Toronto? Well, I would recommend visiting the city, and I wouldn't say "no" to going back to Fan Expo Canada. I just need to alter my vision a little bit, and not make conventions end-all/be-all situations. That said, I know that I'll be ready for New York Comic Con in five weeks' time. And if I'm feeling like it, maybe I'll write about it here.

There's a lot I didn't write about here . . . like trying poutine- flavored potato chips, for instance. And seeing  Blue Jays fans wearing "I [heart] BJs" t-shirts. And trying creme brulee for the first time. And the time I found a place to get takeout dinner for my Mom and me after getting shut down by a local closed Subway. I might not have been successful in being happy in the big picture, but I did have several small moments that weren't a total loss.

Oh, and I only walked 3,276  steps today before I set down the pedometer. I'm thinking that it'll be a while before I make it over 10,000 again. Probably during NYCC. At least I'll know how to wander.

Adventures in Toronto 2014: Day Five

I gave up around 2:30 p.m. today. I don't think it's a record for me bailing out of a con, but I was neck-deep in ennui, and I needed to get out.

When it comes to Toronto, I've felt worse. Like I've said before, I lost my sketchbook and camcorder back in 2007, and I had a series of misadventures in 2011. I know things can be worse, but I can't seem to shake out of my funk. Not even legendary artist Neal Adams crashing a sketch duel could get me out of my doldrums. By the way, I seem to be coming up with a lot of synonyms for "bored." Sorry about that.

In total, I got fourteen sketches, including three today. I'd like to think it was worth the trip. I also got a bunch of blind box Doctor Who vinyl figures. It's a sickness . . . I wasn't going to get another one today, but the Titan booth slashed the price from C$15 to C$10, so I had to get one more. It was a K-9 figure, which I used as a reference to get a neat watercolor piece from Katie Cook. On the flip side, I asked for a Catwoman sketch from one artist, only he wound up using another reference I had printed up and failed to cross out. At least it was a nice sketch.

My mother wound up aiming a little lower, going shopping at the Eaton Town Mall. Mom says she's had a good time in Toronto, though she didn't check out many of the tourist places. At her speed, she can't traverse the steps of Casa Loma, and getting to the Toronto Zoo was a logistical nightmare. In the end, she's happy. That's all that matters.

After getting back to the room, we wound up vegging out on TV for a bit, including watching The Amazing Race Canada, which was a little more French-speaking than I'm used to. Also, the host isn't Phil Keoghan, but that's hardly his fault. We wound up going to Dumas Square, including visiting the Hard Rock Café for dinner. Hey, it was within walking distance. Afterward, we saw a guy on a big unicycle juggle flaming torches. It beats nearly getting molested by cut-rate plush figures in Times Square. I wound up totaling 13,305 steps today, which was a low number for me on this trip.

I'll be glad to come home tomorrow. I have stuff I'll be needing to do when I come back. As for my comic con itch  . . . I got a little more than a month to go before New York Comic Con. Hopefully, I can adjust myself accordingly to escape ennui for good.

Adventures in Toronto 2014: Day Four

Another day, another time where I question whether I'm doing what's best for me. Or maybe I'm getting burned out on conventions.

It's all supposed to be a big adventure, where I go off exploring and having fun. But a lot of the time, I feel like I could be doing something else with my time, something better. Sure, getting to, from and around the convention can be fun, but it feels like a drag. I run out of things to do, and I end up wandering the convention, occasionally taking pictures of cosplayers. I'd take off the wristband (no lanyards? WTF?!?), but I feel like I invested too much money to blow off a day of convention-going.

I did have fun getting sketches, though waiting on people to return to their booths was a pain in the ass. I geeked out over a sketch from acclaimed writer/artist Jeff Lemire . . .  it's a long story involving deer/human boys. And I got to see Greg Hyland again; like Ty Templeton, I only see him when I'm in Toronto. I wound up getting Lego versions of Rocket Raccoon and Groot. For the most part, though, I wandered. A lot. I visited a few panels, but I found myself napping through them. I just felt like today was killing time until the latest episode of Doctor Who ("Inside The Dalek") came on at 9 p.m.

Meanwhile, my mother visited the St. Lawrence Market . . . and that was about it. She was on a touring bus which was stuck in traffic most of the time, thanks to the Expo and the Yankees/Blue Jays game. While I was listlessly walking around, there was a thunderstorm that my mother experienced. She was thinking of going to the Batta Shoe Museum, but she's putting that off until tomorrow. Sadly, she's going to have to put off going to the Toronto Zoo, mostly because it's a pain to visit . . . even though it's home to the only pandas in Canada. The allure of the black-and-white fuzzballs isn't enough to overcome the logistics.

I have one more day of conning. I apologize if this post came off as a cry for help. I just hate it when it feels like everybody is having more fun than me, even if I know that to be fiction.

PS: Why do I keep forgetting the pedometer? Today's total: 15,492 steps, a personal best for this trip. I hope I'm burning off calories with the wandering.

Adventures In Toronto 2014: Day Three

Had a bit of a mixed day, truth be told. The bad news was that my phone died on me, so I wound up going back to the hotel room earlier than expected. Actually, I kinda/sorta ran out of stuff to do anyway.

As a Doctor Who fan, I was sad to miss out on Q&A sessions with Matt Smith (the Eleventh Doctor) and Arthur Darvill (Rory Williams). Both would have taken way more commitment to lining up than I had. Getting autographs was also out of the question . . . lining up and paying gobs of money? No, thanks . . . the most I pay for that is $20. As for photo ops . . . it costs a small fortune to get your picture professionally taken. You know how much you have to pay for a threesome with Smith, Darvill and Karen Gillan (Amy Pond; late of Guardians of the Galaxy)? C$185. Way beyond my budget.

(BTW, I might as well talk about how funky the money is Up North. I can deal with how the paper money starts at $5 instead of $1 like in the States. But the stuff is made of a weird plastic polymer that you can see through in a few places. Also, if you scratch a dollar bill, it smells vaguely of maple syrup. It's like Canada wants to be the stereotype Americans portray them as, you know?)

Anyway, I did go to a funky panel. . . . from the Doctor Who Society of Canada, I learned about the intricacies of building a Dalek. Apparently, you can go online and get plans on how to create the Doctor's worst enemy. These people don't mess around . . . they got the eyestalks, the outer bubbles, even the voice modulators. It costs $1,500 (I'm assuming Canadian) to build one, give or take a few hundred bucks. That's dedication . . . and the architects even give their Daleks proper names. Very nice.

I wound up spending a lot on sketches, to the point where I had to get money at an ATM, which I didn't think wound work since I don't go to a Canadian bank. I got to surprise Jamal Igle, whom I had met on several occasions. He wound up sketching the Twelfth Doctor for me, once I ascertained that he was a Doctor Who fan. I finally got to meet two artists I never knew about going in. When I found out Kurt Lehner was a designer on Gargoyles (the critically-acclaimed series from Disney from the Nineties), I had to get a sketch of Goliath from him. Finally, I met Danica Brine, who did a top-notch Rocket Raccoon for me on a blank cover of the Guardians of the Galaxy star's solo comic.

I didn't do much else, to be honest. I wound up attending another "sketch duel," where two artists draw the same character. It used to be that a winner would be decided by how many raffle tickets an artist would get. These days, they just raffle off the sketches without much fanfare, and the possibility of free sketches is worth the trip for me. But after a while, my phone started dying on me. I tried calling my mother, but I couldn't get through. I tried calling collect from pay phones (which still exist in Toronto), but that went sideways on me. Soon, I was worried that my mother would be worried about me, so I figured out a way to get back to the hotel via a map I found in the lobby. You know how I got to the Convention Centre to begin with? I followed three people from the hotel, one of whom was cosplaying as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. They could have gotten lost, and I would've followed them anyway.

My mother wound up having a good time on a tour bus, which saved her legs some wear and tear. She went to Dundas Square, which is like Times Square back home, and she visited the Royal Ontario Museum, which I checked out back in 2011. She's having a good time at her own pace, which I'm happy about.

We wound up reuniting at the room, and we rested up before going out to eat dinner. Turns out our waiter originally hailed from Long Island, and he's going to Fan Expo tomorrow. He even has a bunch of X-Men tattooed on his left arm. That takes dedication . . . as much as going DIY for a Dalek.

I have two more days left before I depart for home. As long as I pace myself, spend wisely and stay away from belligerent visiting Yankees fans, I should be golden this weekend.

PS: I logged in 15,063 steps . . . not bad, since I didn't take the train either way. Oh, and Mookie Betts wound up hitting his first grand slam tonight. Good for him. Looks like he just needed to get away from the boobird Blue Jays fans.

Adventures In Toronto 2014: Day Two

Right now, Fan Expo Canada is coming to an end for the night, but I threw in the towel long before. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm getting too old for this sort of life. Or maybe I'm just upset I didn't get to have 5 Hour Energy. Sometimes, I doubt whether the stuff is effective, but I still want more.

Because of my mother's lack of mobility, we wound up taking a cab to Ripley's Aquarium of Canada. I vaguely remember it being a pit the last time I was in the area. Well, now it's an aquarium, and it honestly wasn't that great. No dolphins, penguins or seals to be found. If you want fish and not have it buttered and served to you, then it's a fun place. Like in Atlanta, they had areas where you can check out aquatic wildlife overhead. And they had areas for the kiddies where you can fool around with mini sharks and horseshoe crabs. On the other hand, there were no shows, except for people diving into the exhibits.

I wound up separating from my mother, which was an odd experience. It's just a little weird for us to have different experiences when we're out, even though it doesn't happen that often. She wound up going up to the CN Tower, where I've been twice (including in 2011). She had a good time, though she didn't get the whole experience. She saw that the Aquarium was shaped like a whale . . . which was odd, since there aren't any whales to be found. And she agreed with me about how Rogers Centre looks like a jewelry box from far above. She didn't step on the glass floors, though . . . apparently, she came up to the edge, and that was enough for her. That didn't stop others from stomping around, which must have been a little unnerving.

Meanwhile, I went to the Metro Convention Centre for Fan Expo. Short story: I got three sketches, including an awesome Groot from Ty Templeton, whom I've met each time I've been in Toronto. I also met Adam Warren, who I had only seen once before. He works on Empowered, a cheeky graphic novel series. I managed to sound coherent around him, even as I was disappointed that the next new volume won't come out until well into 2015. I'm going to go back to see him tomorrow because I brought the latest Empowered for him to autograph. Finally, I got a Doctor Who sketch from Kevin Bolk, whom I've met several times already. It's fun when an artist recognizes me from past commissions/sketches. I don't think any of them are sick of me. Yet.

If I had more stamina, I would've stayed for the "Inside The Dalek" panel from the Doctor Who Society, but I had enough. I wound up spending lots of multi-colored/see-through money, and I didn't want to waste any more. The biggest bummer of the day -- if you can call it that -- was when I claimed my free t-shirt, and they didn't have any XLs. How do you run out that early? I'm sure Canadians are about as weight-conscious as Americans. I wound up getting a 2XL, and I aim not to grow into it. On the other hand, my mother hurt herself when the shower rack detached from the wall, so maybe I shouldn't complain too much.

Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully, I can get my mojo back and have a fun weekend.

PS: I registered 13,403 steps on my pedometer. Because I'm no longer travelling with my mother, she doesn't mind hearing about how much I've walked, as long as she's not walking those steps with me.

Adventures In Toronto 2014: Day One

Today was a good day. Tiring, exhausting, but it was worth the trip. Not even the news that John Rocker (New York Public Enemy No. 1, circa 1999) was cast for Survivor could dampen it.

The trip to Toronto was uneventful. We were barely in the air, and we made good time. The only hiccup was when we went to the wrong gate to pick up the shuttle bus, the same one I took back in 2011. My mother kept apologizing for the mistake. It's easy to forgive her, especially when it's a boneheaded move that I would have pulled off on my own.

How is my mother as a travel companion? Well, she's a bit slow, so I'm not nearly as mobile as I am when I'm solo. Still, after draining our brains on TLC (the network, not "Tender Loving Care"), we wound up trooping over to the Rogers Centre to see the Blue Jays play the Red Sox, and she didn't complain once. As far as going to stadiums in Canada go, I think this was an upgrade for her over the time we went to Olympic Stadium in Montreal to see the Expos. Remember them? The place was so ridiculous, we kept expecting the clowns to come out. Once again: my mother didn't complain once about the walking. However, I am forbidden from telling her how many steps I registered on the pedometer. Otherwise, I might wind up eating it. BTW, I logged in 15,108. So far, so good.

[Hang on . . . I gotta pretend that I know about baseball these days]

The Blue Jays haven't changed much since I last saw them. They were in the hunt for the wild card, but they've faded out of the picture. If the Royals advance to the playoffs, the Blue Jays will be the only team in the majors not to make the postseason since 1993, when they last won the World Series. On the other hand, they could be the woeful Red Sox, the defending champions that have fallen into the American League East cellar.

We wound up getting cramped seats in the outfield. I would've gotten a better seat, but I'm not used to dragging somebody with me. We didn't get to explore the stadium, and we wound up near some "fans" who were vocal about two things: how much first baseman Adam Lind sucked, and catcalling Red Sox centerfielder Mookie Betts. As a lapsed Mets fan, it hurts to see a Mookie get booed that hard for no real reason. I don't think you have to drink the be a Blue Jays fan, but it probably helps.

The game itself was eventful. We got to see Jose Bautista homer off the left-center stands to give the Jays a 1-0 lead. Marcus Stroman pitched wonderfully until the sixth, when he wound up giving up two runs. He wound up stranding two Red Sox on base to finish the inning.

The seventh inning was when the Jays broke loose. Juan Encarnacion doubled, chasing starter Joe Kelly from the game. Tommy Layne came in, gave up a single to catcher Dioner Navarro, then left the game for Junichi Tazawa. And then pinch hitter Danny Valencia stroked a three-run homer to left field -- once again, got a good view -- putting the Jays up, 4-2. They tacked on another run in the inning. A well-rested Stroman came in to get two outs in the eighth before giving up a hit to Dustin Pedroia. Stroman left after 112 pitches, and he wound up getting the win after Brett Cecil got the final out in the eighth, then struck out the side in the ninth for the save. Oh, and David "Big Papi" Ortiz went 2-for-4 with a RBI. I was hoping he'd go deep, but it wasn't meant to be.

What else? Well, I wound up losing a subway token. They cost C$3 apiece, and are way too friggin' small to keep track. On the bright side, you can use loose change to get on the subway. The doors connecting the train cars were open, making things pretty spacious. We wound up going to Union Station, where I introduced my mother to the Dairy Queen Blizzard. She liked hers, though I don't think she was into it as I was. Back home, there's a DQ in the Staten Island Ferry Terminal, and that's it.

Tomorrow is going to be interesting. Since my mother doesn't want to deal with hills and stairs, she might pass on going to Casa Loma tomorrow. I figure we can go back to Union Station and go to the aquarium that opened up recently. Then Mom will go check out the CN Tower, while I go off to Fan Expo. No matter what, the real vacation begins tomorrow.

And seriously . . . as long as John Rocker is on Survivor, I don't want to hear one word about how bad "Twinees" Natalie and Nadiya are. Not a single damn word.

Adventures In Toronto 2014: Prologue

For the fourth time, I'm going to Toronto. And yes, it's for their local plus-sized comic book convention: Fan Expo Canada. It's my annual trip to a large comic con, and I'm going to write about it as I go along. Hopefully, it won't be as . . .  eventful as my last trip up there in 2011, where my laptop went kablooey, and I wound up staying an extra day over a misunderstanding regarding Hurricane Irene. And there was the time in 2007 when I lost my sketchbook and camcorder on the final day of the con. Sure, I got my sketchbook back eventually, but I was a wreck after the con.

There is one wrinkle for me this time: my mother is coming with me. If you'll recall, I accompanied her to Atlanta in April to see the pandas and the other sights of the city. Well, she's heard enough about my three trips to Toronto to see what the fuss is about. I'll be with her tomorrow and Thursday morning, then we'll split up. I'll be doing the convention, while she will do the tourist bit. Hopefully, we'll both have a good time.

The fun starts tomorrow. I have my sketchbook, five blank-covered comics, and plenty of references. I just hope that the bad luck bug doesn't bite me in the butt like in the past.

FLASHBACK: The Dorothy Hui Interview

Once upon a time, there was a reality show on ABC known as The Mole. Don't worry if you never heard about it . . . the network made sure that advertising was sparse -- at least compared to the likes of The Bachelor -- and the show wound up dying twice (long story). The legacy of the show lies in its intelligence, how badly ABC wanted to bury it, and being the showcase for Anderson Cooper before he jumped to superstardom on CNN.

The following story is 100 percent true, based upon my first reality show audition, and the experiences of Dorothy Hui, who became the second winner of The Mole in 2002. The article was posted on Reality News Online on August 14, 2002, before I became the official recapper of Dog Days and Real World/Road Rules Challenge. The site went under a while back, but I managed to save it with the help of Archive.org. Let me know how it holds up almost twelve years later.

An Interview with Mole 2's Winner, Dorothy Hui

by Jason Borelli -- 08/14/2002

When Jason Borelli went to try out for Mole 2, he had no idea he was in line with Dorothy Hui, who would eventually become the show's big winner. Jason tracked Dorothy down again and talked to her about the game, her band, and much more!

The date was April 21, 2001. It was a warm day in New York as I waited on a line, leading up to auditions for the second season of The Mole After watching a season of ABC's entry into the reality show genre, I knew this was the show I had to go on. Forget getting stuck on a desolate wasteland or in a house of nutcases. I'd go to Europe, solve puzzles, stay in posh hotels, and have a good time.

I waited on line for my shot. I got hassled by some bum who felt superior to me because he wore a Yankees jacket. I engaged in inane chatter with some of the people on line. One of these people was a young woman. She was a musician, singing a little while we waited. She also had griped about the lack of Asians on reality television shows. After an hours-long wait (interrupted by a quick bite to eat and a jaunt to a nearby arcade), I got interviewed. After ninety seconds, I went home, thus ending my experience.

October. The fourteen contestants for The Mole 2: The Next Betrayal were announced. In the mix was an Asian-American musician from New York named Dorothy. Could it be the same person? Sadly, ABC shelves the series after three episodes, due to poor ratings.

June. ABC decided to start running the new episodes. I find that Dorothy was in a band, Dimestore Scenario, where she played bass guitar and was a backup vocalist. They were playing Le Bar Bat in New York, and I had to find out if she was the one who I saw on line. Not that the question consumed me all this time - I just found it funny that somebody on the same line as me made it to the show. And yes, it was her. I tried to stay out of fanboy mode, not pumping her for inside information on the show. But I did ask if I could interview her, and she was okay with that. That was two days after the fifth episode, the one where Rob Nelson was executed.

August. A Starbucks in Greenwich Village, fifteen months after the audition, roughly 50 blocks from the Hard Rock. It had been two days after the final episode aired, where Dorothy Hui was revealed as the winner of a $636,000 pot. I talked to her about the show, her group, and her future.

RealityNewsOnline: What was the process in getting on the show?

Dorothy: Actually, my roommate was pretty hot on trying out for The Mole, and I decided to tag along with her. When I first went out to audition, I just thought, "Oh, I'll have a good time and it'll be fun." I never thought I'd get on the show. [Laughs]

I was speaking to people on line in front of me about the band, and I mentioned I had a rehearsal later that day. Since things kept running really late and they kept pushing our line farther and farther back, I kept wanting to get out of the line because I felt responsible for my band members to make the rehearsal, and everybody was saying, "Oh, you should stay, you should stay. Just wait five more minutes and you're going to thank us when you get on the show," and I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, whatever, I'm not going to get on the show." When we got into the holding room the get our first round of interviews, I was [saying], "Okay, I'm leaving this room. I need to get to rehearsal. My bandmates are going to be so pissed at me." One of the women in front of me [said], "Oh, ask all these people if you can cut them." So I ended up asking the people in front of me if I could cut and I did, and they were right… now I have a really funny story.

RNO: All I really remember from my experience was getting a ninety-second interview. Not that I'm bitter.

Dorothy: My first round was thirty seconds. (Laughs) It was mostly why would you want to be on The Mole, would you make a good Mole, and why would you make a good Mole. They called me back the next day and recorded the second interview. They basically made an audition tape for us. They asked a bunch of questions about what I do, my band, what it was like growing up in Middletown.

RNO: What came after that?

Dorothy: During the audition, they asked us to lie. Before we went in for our interviews, they said, "Work in a lie, but don't tell us when or where until afterwards." I told them about the band I was really in, a pop-rock band, and then I said, "Oh, yeah, I also sing for a heavy-metal band." I don't look like a heavy-metal chick.

RNO: When did you find out that you were going to be on the show?

Dorothy: They called us back for a final round in Los Angeles. It was two weeks after Hard Rock that we had the semis. Literally, it was a week before we actually left for the game.

RNO: Was it tough leaving friends and family behind?

Dorothy: I was in a unique situation. I was freelancing at the time. I had been laid off from my dot-com job, so I didn't feel strongly tied to an office job. As far as being separated from friends and family, I knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and that definitely made it a lot easier.

RNO: How did you like Europe?

Dorothy: Europe was amazing. My favorite part was Italy. I had never been to Italy before. I always wanted to go. They took us to some incredible cities that were so beautiful. It was something I'll remember for the rest of my life.

RNO: What were your favorite games?

Dorothy: My favorite game was Evader. It was quintessential Mole, with the stealth and sneaking around. I definitely would have loved to be the tracker or the evader, skulking around the city. The Gladiator game also sticks out in my mind, just because it was such a spectacle. You should have seen the looks on the faces of the locals as we were walking through the street, gawking, pointing and laughing, taking photos. They didn't know what was going on. It was definitely a production in the truest sense of the word, with the arena those constructed for us and the costumes. It was pretty cool.

RNO: What were your favorite games where you took an active part? Like the Dumb vs. Smart game, where you pulled two answers out of thin air.

Dorothy: Those were really fun. I had been hoping for more of those mind puzzles that we saw in the first season. Lucky for me, I was on the right side when the teams got spilt up. I got an exemption, and I used that to my advantage as far as looking suspicious.

RNO: And what were your least favorite games?

Dorothy: It would probably be the Relative games, just because I managed to mess them up completely and not get to spend time with my mom. I knew she would be so happy and she'd appreciate the experience so much if we had actually hung out together as part of the game. Plus, I knew she would feel bad for not predicting the right bungee response. Emotionally, that was my least favorite and most different moment.

RNO: There were also games where you were physically overwhelmed…

Dorothy: (Laughs) The running [in Think or Sink] was really horrible. What they didn't show was that it was extremely hot that day, probably 95 degrees. They didn't have any water and I was ill-prepared for such a long run. I ran so far that later on, when we drove to dinner, I said, "Hey, guys, this is where I ran to in relation to the starting point." They said, "No way." I said, "Look, ask that camera guy." It was as difficult a run as we all saw.

RNO: And there was Anderson's Fun House, where you were trapped in a small box. Were you expecting something to happen while you were in there?

Dorothy: I thought something was going to happen because I was looking out from behind the screen and it looked like the wire mesh you'd see on a window screen. But I didn't know what was going to come down on me. I look up and, "Okay, a rain of cockroaches. Great." (Laughs) There's a reason why I'm not on Fear Factor.

RNO: The alternatives were being trapped in a room with a giant python, or being trapped in a room for six hours while "Tiny Bubbles" played. Would you have traded for one of those games?

Dorothy: Actually, no. I think the "Tiny Bubbles" game would have been a test of my sanity and patience. I don't know if I could have hacked it hearing Don Ho forwards, backwards, slowed down, sped up, and all that other stuff. The python room, I wouldn't have lasted. I would've made the same decision Heather did, especially with no clear end in sight. They didn't give her a time limit on how long she had in the room. I definitely think that while the half-hour was unpleasant, it was probably the easiest to handle. I just tried to keep my head clear and not think about how small the box actually was. I was able to move about and avoid the falling cockroaches so that helped. (Laughs)

RNO: Who were your favorite people on the show?

Dorothy: I had a lot of fun hanging out with Elavia. We got along really well and she was somebody I thought I would hang out with after the game. I had a good time with everyone. The cast got along so well, I think the producers thought, "Whoa, we didn't anticipate everyone getting along this well."
Heather was great. When [me, Heather, and Elavia] roomed together, we had a great time doing silly stuff in our room, dancing around and joking. It was a lot of fun

RNO: What was Anderson Cooper like?

Dorothy: He seemed a lot more professional on the show than he actually was. There were so many moments that didn't make it in. For example, right before the rappelling game, he was motioning the players who were going to rappel to come and he said (funny voice), "Come with me!" with his arms swinging from side to side [comically mimicking the motion]. I'm glad they put in the "Happy Mole Dance" at the end of [the seventh episode]. It definitely captured some of who he was.

RNO: In your opinion, did the show treat you fairly?

Dorothy: I think so. I was definitely pretty quiet and I like to think I'm not as physically inept as they actually showed me. (Laughs) What can you do?

RNO: When was the reunion filmed?

Dorothy: It was filmed in October, after the show got pulled.

RNO: When did you get the money?

Dorothy: I haven't received it yet.

RNO: (Voice trailing off in disbelief) You haven't received it?

Dorothy: The schedule is based on the airing of the last episode.

RNO: How frustrating is that for you?

Dorothy: It hasn't been that hard from a personal point of view. I never wanted to reveal the outcome, and a lot of people kept asking me about that just because it just made it so much more fun for my friends and people who were watching not to know. I kept a secret, but I had fun doing it.

RNO: Other than the money, was it frustrating that ABC didn't air the episodes until June?

Dorothy: It wasn't even a performance aspect. There were definitely hilarious stories and funny moments. You want to share the experience. My friends had a lot of questions and it was frustrating no to be able to relate those experiences. The people I met were really awesome, and I wanted to share what they were like to my friends, but would be so paranoid about revealing something that I just never answered any kind of question regarding the show, and every answer I gave was, "Sorry, not at liberty to say."

RNO: So there was a penalty for early disclosure?

Dorothy: Yes, they managed to work that into our contracts. Our prize money was dire incentive to keep our mouths shut. (laughs)

RNO: During the reunion, there were a lot of revelations about the show. Which one shocked you the most?

Dorothy: I felt so relieved about Elavia's bribe, and my [aborted] execution. Talk about the ultimate coalition partner to save my ass. (Laughs) It was coincidence and luck.

RNO: And I remember the end of that episode, where you said that you and Elavia could have taken everybody else out had she stayed.

Dorothy: If I hadn't been around, she would have taken everybody else out.

RNO: What about Heather handing you Bill on a platter?

Dorothy: I felt really bad, actually, because she played the game extremely well.

RNO: Getting off the show… how long have you been interested in music?

Dorothy: I've been into pop music since I bought the Bangles on cassette. I've been playing piano since first grade. The bass guitar is pretty recent for me. I learned that as I formed the band.

RNO: How did Dimestore Scenario form?

Dorothy: Rachel [Federman, lead singer and guitarist] and I was in a band in college called You With The Face. We were a really horrible screaming girl band. Basically, we really wanted to be serious while we were with that band and it wasn't until we moved to New York that we were able to have the opportunity and the resources. New York is such a hotbed for music.

RNO: What genre does the group fit into?

Dorothy: I would say indie pop rock, which is not really that accurate a classification. I usually tell people we mix influences, like Belly meets Heavenly meets the Pixies meets Mazzy Star.

RNO: When you were on line during the auditions, you were talking about the lack of Asians on reality television shows. Do you feel this is still the case?

Dorothy: That was a comment I made of what I was thinking at the time. I still do feel that way. A lot of Asian fans have been writing to me, and they're happy that an Asian girl made it to the finals and actually won, so it seems pretty cool.

RNO: Do you see yourself as a standard bearer for Asians?

Dorothy: I've been thinking about this. A lot of what happens is just because you're part of a minority group, you end up representing your race, even though that definitely was not what got most people's attention. As far as being a standard bearer, I don't know. We'll have to see.

RNO: What are you planning to do with the money?

Dorothy: I would love to take Dimestore Scenario into a studio and record a demo. It's something I've always wanted to do, and Rachel and I were talking about it for so long. To actually have the resources to do it, I'm thinking "go for it." It's a dream come true.

RNO: How much does a studio demo cost?

Dorothy: It can be very expensive, but I hope to use the resources wisely and hopefully find a good place to do it for not too much. (laughs)

RNO: How do you compare yourself to other people from reality shows that try and get into the music business?

Dorothy: I look at The Mole and Dimestore Scenario as two different experiences. I know it probably ends up looking like maybe something I'd try to use as a springboard, but it's not how I view the experience.

RNO: Finally, do you think people know the real you after watching the show?

Dorothy: I spent so much time making myself look shadier that I normally am in real life (laughs). I don't think the audience is ever going to know the real me.