Sunday, February 27, 2005

Inferno 2: Good Guys

What is "good"? In a battle against "Bad Asses," you would want the nicest people to counteract the pure evil of the other side. But thanks to’s polls, some of these so-called "good guys" ain’t quite that good.

Brad Fiorenza (RW: San Diego)

Formerly known mainly as somebody familiar with the insides of San Diego holding cells, Brad broke out in a big way in Battle of the Sexes 2. But since he was a newbie, the foursome of Mark, Eric, Dan and Theo sent him packing. Brad was well-behaved in Santa Fe, but it remains to be seen if he can remain a nice guy this season.

Is He a Good Guy? Right now, he is. But look at Rachel and Veronica; they got screwed over in Battle of the Sexes, then proceeded to victimize others in The Gauntlet. The odds of Brad doing the same are 50/50 right now.

Darrell Tayler (RR: Campus Crawl)

If Pootie Tang and Nell ever had a child, he would sound just like Darrell. Despite being a bit of a mushmouth, Darrell is riding a consecutive mission streak of 30, tops amongst those playing here. However, he never entered an Inferno or a Gauntlet before, so his endgame ability remains to be seen.

Is He a Good Guy? He has his nice moments, but he can be negative about his team’s chances for success. And I’ve yet to forgive him for harshing on Sarah on his season and on Gauntlet.

Jamie Chung (RW: San Diego)

While the other girls of San Diego carved out their own somewhat negative reputations (Robin for toughness, Cameran for brattiness, Frankie for being a wreck), Jamie managed to stay sane. It also didn’t hurt that she was hot. However, we have yet to see her compete, making her the team’s biggest question mark.

Is She a Good Guy? Yes, she is. She is the kind of girl you can take home to mother, even if she insists on wearing the luchedor mask.

Jodi Weatherton (RR: X-Treme)

I got nothing on her. Seriously, that’s how underwhelmed I was with her season. All I know is that she lasted the entire season, and she wore a "J" on her shirt, Laverne-style. I used to confuse her with Kina. Well, Kina lasted all of three rounds in BOTS2, yet she swiped Eric Nies’ jump rope. Can Jodi leave a better mark?

Is She a Good Guy? I guess so. Last year, I was more put off by people like Patrick, Angela and Jillian than impressed by anything Jodi did.

Jon Brennan (RW: Los Angeles)

What separate Jon from Eric? Answer: a jump rope and one year. Not only has Jon not made as big an impact on the country music scene after debuting on RW in 1993, he also had the misfortune to be hooked up with Beth on Battle of the Seasons. Subsequently, they were tossed out after the first mission, due to Beth’s phoniness. Can our former mullet-wearing hero pick up the pieces?

Is He a Good Guy? No doubt...but there’s probably an evil part of him that would love to work Beth over in the Inferno. Hey, roommate vs. roommate is no longer a fantasy on the battlefield.

Julie Stoffer (RW: New Orleans)

This girl is psycho. After becoming the nicest ingenue since Julie Oliver way back from the first season, Ms. Stoffer has been a thorn in the sides of many BMP alumni. In her last Challenge, Julie managed to embarrass herself some more before getting upset in the Inferno by Katie. Julie has since married, and there’s a chance she could actually act like a human being this time around, but I’m not holding my breath. The same rule I laid out in Inferno applies here: the longer she’s on the show, the worse things will get.

Is She a Good Guy? She tried to kill Veronica. She peed on Coral’s bed. Let me repeat that last part: SHE PEED. ON CORAL’S BED. Hey, I know many of you have issues with Coral, but SHE PEED. ON CORAL’S BED!

Landon Lueck (RW: Philadelphia)

Landon has been a breakout star on the current season of RW. Sadly, it’s for all the wrong reasons. From his excessive drinking to his craptacular romance with Shavonda, Landon is just another good-looking guy who’s a complete tool. I understand BMP grows them on a farm.

Is He a Good Guy? Let’s I judge him for getting a knife and contemplating going after Melanie’s friends? Or for assaulting a horse? Seriously, he’s a good guy and Karamo isn’t. This is why fan voting doesn’t work.

Mike Mizanin (RW: Back to New York)

Mike goes into his fifth Challenge on the rebound. In BOTS2, he struggled to remain on the men’s team, but they cut him after seven missions. To make matters worse, not only didn’t he hook up, he had to watch ex-roommate Coral complete yet another Challenge. While he did make an impressive run on Tough Enough, the Challenge is Mike’s home, and he probably wants to take it back. Also, he’s the only team member to win at least one endgame, winning a Gauntlet and an Inferno.

Is He a Good Guy? Sure he is! Wait, there was that time when he yelled at Coral in the final mission, while she was dying from a spider bite. And the time where he got drunk and harangued squeeze du jour Kendall for volunteering to put herself in the Inferno. Oh, and what about his calling Lori a sellout after she got a 9-to-5 job? Yeah, the guy who has done six seasons of reality television and hawks "Miz" gear called Lori a sellout. Who said irony was dead?

Robin Hibbard (RW: San Diego)

Robin was a surprise for the girls’ team in BOTS2, lasting thirteen missions. Her struggles with the Semi-Cross course put her on Coral’s bad side, and that was enough for her ouster. Robin also found an unlikely romance with RR veteran Mark Long. With the power to avoid her own elimination, Robin might be able to pull it together.

Is She a Good Guy? Even with the smacking of the Marine in San Diego, she’s okay. But I wouldn’t mind if she cheated on Mark. Why should she be the accessory to a middle-aged reality star’s mid-life crisis? She deserves better than being Mrs. Dodgeball Boy.

Shavonda Billingslea (RW: Philadelphia)

If anybody other than Julie needed Coral’s special brand of tough love, it’s Shavonda. From her episode-halting phone chats with "boyfriend" Shaun, to her on-and-off romance with Landon, Shavonda just bugs. Like Jamie, she’s a bit of an enigma in terms of competition.

Is She a Good Guy? Put it this way: if she was a halfway decent person, the thought of throwing her into the path of wheelchair-bound children would be a horrible notion. But with Shavonda, it isn’t.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

How the hell is Julie on the good team? Seriously, the bitch is crazy.