What the Hell Am I Doing?

"The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care."
- The Offspring, "Self Esteem"

I'm not a blogging person. I like to bitch about my life, but not to a huge audience. So why am I starting one now? Pull up a chair and I'll tell you.

For the past two years, I had written for a web site specializing in reality television recaps. I came on board in 2002, offering tidbits here and there. I recapped Dog Days, an eight-episode series from Animal Planet that is probably long forgotten. I didn't have the stamina to write about The Amazing Race, but I covered Kevin & Drew Unleashed, which centered on TAR1's beloved "Frats," Kevin O'Connor and Drew Feinberg.

In 2002, one of my favorite web sites stopped recapping The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. The show was the genre's version of Battle of the Network Stars, pitying "stars" from reality's oldest show against those from its redheaded stepbrother. I decided to recap it for the site, figuring it would give me something to do.

I ended up recapping four seasons in all: Battle of the Sexes, The Gauntlet, The Inferno, and Battle of the Sexes 2. I recorded episodes, took notes, snarked on the fools, praised the heroes, etc. I'd go into details, but I don't wish to bore you guys.

So why am I here? Well, this site had a Yahoo group forum, where we could chat. I offered opinions, I got my head ripped off. Okay, I was a little...intense...about things (thinking of what the Apex Coven did to Stacie J. still makes my blood boil). But these people were somewhat elitist. I'd say that I had my fill and quit, but I'd be lying. Ten days ago, I got a letter from the head honcho to the effect of "You're Fired." And just like that? It was over. The bad guys had won.

I could have taken this as a sign to get out of the business altogether. I could have hummed a couple of bars of "Breaking the Habit" and call it a career. But I got fans to think about. Heck, I met one last week, and she was bummed about me getting "fired." So I'll recap here. I'll talk about pop culture, I'll talk about news...maybe even chat about my life, if it gets any better. Of course, I could end up dumping this blog altogether by next week. Who knows at this point?